DSD booked afternoon tea but not paid

[bluefloweronyellow]

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant.

I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc

She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day

So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want.

I'm just flabbergasted.

AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree)

Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

I thought mumsnet was for parents of young (under 18) children. 32? Have an adult conversation with her???

There's been quite a bit of creative writing going on this weekend.

Why are you even going ? I wouldn’t go as if she asked why I would be saying. Terrible.

My sister is like this in some ways, but it's mostly owing to her autism. I actually wish someone would point these things out to her so she could learn some social norms and stop offending people. (Someone other than me because we used to argue incessantly so I then decided to just do everything I could to keep the peace between us). Her husband and other relatives might be grateful if a slightly "less attached" relative had a word with her about some basic matters of etiquette.

After your visit, tell her what a great time you had, so great that you want her and husband to experience it, and make a reservation for her next birthday.

Omg this is hilarious.... can you "invoice" her for it afterwards

YANBU - similar experience for me, 50th present to me from DB & DSiL £50 voucher for an incredibly expensive restaurant in London meaning we’d have to spend £200 on rail tickets & £150 on a hotel room. We both have restricted diets for medical reasons, so looking at the menu, we’d end up with a bit of green salad & grilled fish. It’s the thought that counts apparently, even when not much thought goes into it.

I hope you enjoy every scrummy mouthful of afternoon tea 😋.
I think we all know somebody who gets us something weird and wonderful.
Have a very lovely birthday. X

You're going to have to get your DH to have a gentle word with her and explain that this is not a gift otherwise you'll be getting more of these for Xmas and Mother's Day too!!

Wow! Just wow! You should 100% go but they should 100% pay!

For her birthday give her a collection number for Argos for 3 items and tell her to pay for the one she’s likes the most!

She knows exactly what she's done.

I'd do the same on her birthday and insist to your husband it will be done: book her a nice mani/pedi or spa day and tell her it's all been booked and she can pay on the day, no problem.

I would have to tell this person how dense they are

Personally I would enjoy it and just give her the receipt saying— ‘you accidentally forgot to pay for it in advance’ so we settled it .

If it's that posh, surely she would have had to secure the booking with a credit card? In which case, just ask them to charge the card it was booked with!

Go to the travel agent and get her some holiday brochures. That way she can pick her own holiday and pay for it. Get her a few then she will have lots of choice. Make it special and wrap the brochures.

This is spectacularly crass…!

YANBU in a million years!!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@bluefloweronyellow

Well, thank you for all the replies.

The afternoon tea is tomorrow and I'm really looking forward to it.

Some people have asked questions or made comments.

I married into the family late in life so have only known DSD as an adult. They are quite financially comfortable as a family whereas I worked to make my money.

She is dense in the true sense of the word but bright and has no malice in her at all. She's quite a unique person and people are naturally drawn to her. I suppose the word is charismatic. People are protective of her as she has an innocence about her but at the same time she always lands on her feet and navigates the world with an airy confidence.

She's very happy. I like her and enjoy spending time with her, as do most people.

She's just very thoughtless at details I suppose. She's a wonderful guest at any occasion, really makes an impact. You really can't help but like her.

I honestly cannot believe some of the comments people are making about your DSD OP! I bet you didn't expect this sort of response with everyone piling in on her. She's gone from being a bit ditzy and thoughtless over money to a narcissist who will be a danger to any future children 😂 Bonkers! Enjoy your afternoon tea tomorrow!

Are you actually joking 🤦🏼‍♀️

Omg ! Maybe she might have surprised you and paid as a surprise maybe ? ….. here’s hoping. Because if not. That’s a joke!

I'd get her an empty gift card for hers. Just say its blank so you can just top it up for the amount you want.

When her birthday comes around, send her a seven digit code. When she asks what it is, tell her to go to Argos and pick it up. It’s the lovely surprise you’ve locked out for her!! Tell her not to forget her credit card. It’s a biggie.

*picked out.

If you don’t turn up she will probably have to pay a minimum charge 🤔 now wouldnt that be funny!

And no you aren’t being remotely unreasonable. A box of chocolates would have been a nicer gift….gift being the operative word!

Well, obviously don’t go. Then when she asks you how you liked it say “we didn’t go because we couldn’t afford it.” Then please come back and tell us her reaction.

I genuinely think this is the OP having a laugh at the 26 pages of outrage..I don’t believe a word or the family sprinkle special fairy dust on their cornflakes!