Page 25 | DSD booked afternoon tea but not paid

bluefloweronyellow · 2022-02-03T23:18:18+00:00

So it's my birthday on Saturday. DSD and her DH have booked me and DH in for posh afternoon tea on the Sunday afternoon at top restaurant. I thanked her tonight for such a thoughtful gift etc and asked her to clarify time and is there a reference number for the gift etc She gave me a photo of the reservation booking and said it's all booked under my name and have a wonderful time I just have to pay on the day [confused] So the gift is she reserved a table. This is so like her. She genuinely thinks she's given me a gift. I gently asked again, to be clear, I pay on the day and yes, that way I can have whatever I want. I'm just flabbergasted. AIBU (clearly fucking not but feel free to comment if you disagree) Oh, and I'm going to go as I do like the place and you do have to book well in advance but never heard that making a reservation is the gift!!!!

tiktokontheclock · 05/02/2022 11:05

@CanofCant

She is dense in the true sense of the word but bright and has no malice in her at all. She's quite a unique person and people are naturally drawn to her. I suppose the word is charismatic. People are protective of her as she has an innocence about her but at the same time she always lands on her feet and navigates the world with an airy confidence.

😂 OP is writing a novel

This sounds like one of my friends. She's late 30's, two kids, a doctor. But we've come to the conclusion she's either pretending to be stupid or just is dense. Obviously book smart. But asks ridiculous questions - where did you get that? Where should I try for this? When she can google it. She makes everyone believe this is girlish charm, but actually it's just fucking annoying.

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2022 11:08

@Belladonna12

It's hilarious how so many posters who have never met the DSD are so convinced that they know her better than OP, and all her family and friends.

It’s not that we know the dsd personally but we have come across this type of person before so see the similarities and the pitfalls and also the future when this person doesn’t make the step into adulthood.

People are still friends with DSD because she's obviously nice to be around. She's not necessarily stupid or a bad person- there's just a certain amount of eye-rolling when she pulls one of her special moves

I have been friends with certain people who are entertaining but after a while their one trick gets boring and people move on.

Used to know a guy who was similar
As people got fed up of him not contributing or just as people matured and he stayed the same. (One thing being a nice looking entertaining air head in your 20s and 30s, but when people are doing the same repertoire in their 40s and 50s it isn’t a good look.)
We all grew older and moved on with our lives but the last time I saw this guy he seemed to be in a group of 20s and 30 year olds and he was about 50 and was starting to look his age.
It was really quite sad. His exw had remarried and had children and her own life but he seemed to be stuck in Peter Pan mode battling against the anonimity that age brings.

Belladonna12 · 05/02/2022 11:49

It’s not that we know the dsd personally but we have come across this type of person before so see the similarities and the pitfalls and also the future when this person doesn’t make the step into adulthood.

If you don't know her personally how do you know you have come across "this type of person"? She is 32 so has been an adult for 14 year and seems to be managing fine.

CleansUpButWouldPreferNotTo · 05/02/2022 11:51

'She is dense in the true sense of the word but bright' while I'm pragmatic and useful as might be inferred from my username! Would much prefer to be the airy fairy one but as I have to take care of myself, that wouldn't work very well. As others have said, hope her support network is still around when she's older and not quite so cute.

Enjoy your birthday tea tomorrow, bookmarking in hopes of updates saying it came with lashings of champagne and the promised flowers are an extravagant bouguet.

toomuchlaundry · 05/02/2022 11:57

@Belladonna12 she’s probably managing fine as she is married to someone who can afford her ‘ditzy’ ways and have family who indulge her. Wonder how ditzy she would be and how she would manage if she was a single parent having to survive on her wage packet

StrongerOrWeaker · 05/02/2022 12:01

She sounds selfish rather than dense.

Belladonna12 · 05/02/2022 12:03

[quote toomuchlaundry]@Belladonna12 she’s probably managing fine as she is married to someone who can afford her ‘ditzy’ ways and have family who indulge her. Wonder how ditzy she would be and how she would manage if she was a single parent having to survive on her wage packet[/quote]
How do you know she is only managing fine in adult life because of her DH? I doubt she got married at 18.

Bwix · 05/02/2022 12:07

On SpLD I don't think it's an unreasonable suggestion. The DSD is either acting out of malice or ignorance. If it's ignorance then it's astonishing that someone without any learning differences would get to the age of 32 without realising this isn't socially acceptable. She might have been in a hugely privileged bubble the whole time, but SpLD is a reasonable hypothesis.

Another poster mentioned their mum with no sense of direction, and pushing in at queues. I have dyspraxia and my sense of direction is missing. No other LD and I have a degree and know that a reservation isn't a gift etc. It's quite common for people (children and adults) to have areas where their intelligence or abilities is vastly at odds with their general intelligence and abilities.

Eleganz · 05/02/2022 12:13

Your DH has sorted it and you are getting a proper present. I wouldn't spend much more time worrying about it as this is a 32 year old woman you had no hand in raising.

hibeat · 05/02/2022 12:29

😂 OP is writing a novel

Exactly this.

notanothertakeaway · 05/02/2022 13:39

DSD sounds like a waste of space, who has been enabled / facilitated by adults who indulge her

winnieanddaisy · 05/02/2022 14:29

Reserve a meal in a top New York hotel for her birthday. Oh , she will need to book her own flights to New York

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 05/02/2022 14:47

Just return the favour and book her a table for the night up The Shard, she might get the message then

Even better if you all live in Caithness! For added present-value, you could print off a copy of the train timetable for the last leg of the trip from Luton

Fairyliz · 05/02/2022 15:11

Am I the only one thinking the op has a plan?

She has a self-centred spoilt SD and a DH who is clearly a useless dad. However if the op complains she will be seen as the nasty mean one being horrible to this lovely young women.
So the Op posts on MN, being very careful always to put positive comments about her SD, whilst letting other posters say what they think about SDs terrible behaviour.
With any luck the thread will be picked up by the DM and the SD will read all about herself and her awful behaviour, and get torn apart in the comments section.
Is this how you ‘use’ the media?

Belladonna12 · 05/02/2022 15:12

Why do people think "returning the favour" will work? She will probably think it is fine. Her DH would probably pay the bill anyway.

Belladonna12 · 05/02/2022 15:14

@Fairyliz

Am I the only one thinking the op has a plan?

She has a self-centred spoilt SD and a DH who is clearly a useless dad. However if the op complains she will be seen as the nasty mean one being horrible to this lovely young women.
So the Op posts on MN, being very careful always to put positive comments about her SD, whilst letting other posters say what they think about SDs terrible behaviour.
With any luck the thread will be picked up by the DM and the SD will read all about herself and her awful behaviour, and get torn apart in the comments section.
Is this how you ‘use’ the media?

The plan assumes the SD or her DH read the daily fail thoroughly which seems a bit of a stretch.

TatianaBis · 05/02/2022 15:27

@Fairyliz

Am I the only one thinking the op has a plan?

She has a self-centred spoilt SD and a DH who is clearly a useless dad. However if the op complains she will be seen as the nasty mean one being horrible to this lovely young women.
So the Op posts on MN, being very careful always to put positive comments about her SD, whilst letting other posters say what they think about SDs terrible behaviour.
With any luck the thread will be picked up by the DM and the SD will read all about herself and her awful behaviour, and get torn apart in the comments section.
Is this how you ‘use’ the media?

No similar occurred to me - I thought she might be planning to show her DH so her own comments must be 100%.

feelsobadfeltsogood · 05/02/2022 15:37

Phone up and cancel it

She sounds plain stupid

toomuchlaundry · 05/02/2022 16:32

The SD is probably so ditzy she wouldn't recognise herself in a newspaper article

RedFlagsAllOver · 05/02/2022 16:48

Send a screen shot of something online and a link for her birthday. Say I thought you would like this. You just need to pay for it.

AuntyMabelandPippin · 05/02/2022 16:54

There was a girl like this at the school I worked in..

I honestly think there could have been an earthquake and she'd walk past it.

Totally oblivious to everything but her own little world. Absolutely lovely child.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/02/2022 17:17

@feelsobadfeltsogood

Phone up and cancel it

She sounds plain stupid

This. God help her if she ever has to survive by herself. She sounds ridiculously pathetic (but hey let’s just call her ditzy).

gunnersgold · 05/02/2022 17:19

She sounds a bit thick to genuinely think that's a gift. ! 🙄🙄.. gifts cost money ffs!

Mich1986 · 05/02/2022 17:26

So funny 😆 personally i just wouldn't go if i had to pay for myself because someone reserved the table.

queensonia · 05/02/2022 17:26

I hope you enjoy your afternoon tea, and Hppy Birthday, but I have one question. If she is your DSD, then I'm assuming she she must be your DH's daughter. How the actual fuck did he bring her up to think this is in any way normal behaviour?