Why did he have that in his bum?

[IfIcouldturnbacktime217]

So tonight DD asked me when she was going to bed about something a boy in nursery had on his bum. She said he pulled his pants down and showed her a worm then starts showing me her mini saying she doesn't have a worm! I've tried to ask how this happened and not got a lot of sense from her (she's 3) I think it may of been in the toilet but she said there was no teacher there. AIBU to be thinking they shouldn't be going the toilet together without a teacher and slightly alarmed by this?

I'm going to start calling mine a bichon friend thanks to this thread .
Been laughing all evening

Bichon frise I meant. Although a bichon friend my work

I'm glad that the boy didn't have threadworms.

May. Ffs

@Mischance

Don't rattle off into telling her the names for her genitalia unless she asks. The problem with sex education with little ones is that we tend to give more information than they are actually asking for at that particular moment.

It's not sex education to tell her the proper word for her own body part. She has legs, she has hands, she has a nose, she has a vagina (or a vulva, if people are feeling particularly anatomically correct).

As this thread has shown, there's far more risk for children who are taught to be ashamed of their private parts or incorrect words. A little girl who tells her teacher 'he tried to touch my [cooke/mini/flower], and I ran away', risks missing out on the care and support they need.

That having a Royal Family raises as much in tourism as they cost taxpayers each year. There's no definitive evidence to prove it yet it's repeated as fact

@pantsville

This forum. The place where the same adult women who rigidly insist upon toddlers saying penis and vulva, use words like norks and fanjo to describe their own anatomy

Yep!

Eh?

[quote Migrainesbythedozen]**@user1481840227* Perhaps if vulva is used more often it will* become the more commonly used term. And that can only be a good thing.[/quote]
Perhaps it will be, but I don't think using the word vagina instead of vulva ever causes any real confusion so I don't think it's a big deal and don't understand why people are so pedantic about it.

Next time I go for a wee I must remember to say 'I'm going to pass urine'

Well it isn’t faux confusion for some of us; I’ve genuinely never heard the term ‘mini’ and if one came to me with any concerns about their mini I’d be pretty confused. And I work in a school so it’s not as unlikely a conversation as it might sound.

Even saying ‘private parts’ or similar is better, it cuts to the chase, and I empathise as children rarely want to say the exact word, whatever word it is they’ve been taught. If I suspect something then I might ask if it’s an area covered by their pants, and that gives a good starting point they understand.

Btw I wouldn’t personally be worried about a stray visible 3 yr old penis at that age, if there was otherwise no ill intent. Obviously he needs reminding that private parts are meant to stay covered. Given what I’ve seen little boys do (not at work I might add, just friends children and my own), they don’t even need to be in a toilet setting to decide to display themselves to everyone

Obviously it is preferable to teach your children the correct terminology for their genitalia. But speaking as someone who works in safeguarding do you really think that the social worker is going to hear ‘he touched my mini/fairy/willie/worm/whatever and not have a clue what the child is talking about? Or explore this further? Just say case closed, I don’t know what they are talking about? Rightly or wrongly, It is much more unusual to hear a child use the terms vulva/vagina/penis. And for all the posters saying ‘wtf is a mini/fairy’ Seriously, you have reached adulthood and never heard these terms before? Pretty disingenuous if you ask me. And if you really hadn’t, surely it could be worked out from the context of the thread!

'Please don't call her vulva her mini'

@slashlover

Why overload toddlers with scientific words? Winky for boys mini or foofoo for girls is fine

I agree! I teach that we have a "chompy chomp" and a "looky ball", who uses scientific words like mouth or eye?

This is the funniest thing I've read all night. Can't stop laughing at the "looky ball" 🤣

Ovex will sort that out

This has been a very entertaining read, thanks!!

Agree that mini and foofoo and worm are gross words. I also thought it was a tapeworm. OP, if it was a tapeworm, my apologies, please do go berserk at the nursery, as the boy should have been sent home and all parents notified, like when there is an outbreak of chicken pox. If “worm” was a penis, then 1) work on your effing geometry, penises aren’t typically in the bum area; 2) teach your daughter some proper words, picture books are great if you don’t happen to have any male babies or toddlers around to regularly expose themselves; 3) calm the fuck down, toddlers do this all the time and it’s just body parts.

So, I know we are meant to say Penis and Vulva, but vulva makes me think of a sensible car. Can I say Willy and Fanny?

Omg some of these replys are
SO RUDE.
The poster was clearly only asking about appropriate situations in a nursery setting.

Why be so judgemental.

Why do some of you think it is ok to be nasty and Sarcastic ?

This ^

So many people being SO RUDE ...

@Blinky21

That having a Royal Family raises as much in tourism as they cost taxpayers each year. There's no definitive evidence to prove it yet it's repeated as fact

Look at the thread title.

Now look at your post.

@Mischance

And yes - mini is ridiculous. My SIL is a mini mechanic.

A mini mechanic? According to the OP, that would be a gynaecologist?

'I don't know a single person who has taught their child to use the words vulva and penis, and I look after young children for a living. It's really not hard to figure out what they mean when they use another name for them. I'm an adult, I can work it out from the context of the rest of the conversation, but I love all the faux confusion when a thread like this pops up 😂 pathetic
This. I think a trained professional in child protection can work out out what a mini is without too much difficulty

@Marzipanfruit

Why are so many posters who insist on correct terminology using 'bum' in their posts? That aside, I do think it is essential that young children are taught unambiguous terms. I once nearly missed a child protection case by not knowing that 'flower' is used for vulva. I spoke to another professional who knew the locally used terms and a child then accessed help. Everyone probably knows the more common euphemisms such as bum, fanny etc. but not the more regionalised or modern ones. Let's show a bit of common sense.

Isn't it well known that a lot of parents use cutesy kind of words or that there are generally regional terms in certain places that are commonly used?

It really should have been part of your training in the first place. Was there any follow up after that incident to make sure that all social workers in your area know of the common locally used terms?

Of course there could be very rare words used, or perhaps words used by people from different countries who now live in the area, but as it is known that many parents don't use the correct word it should be standard that people who work in child protection are made aware of some of the names that are likely to be used!

Christ. What everyone else says. These bits of us are private but they aren't intrinsically rude. Just teach kids the proper names or failing that something everyone gets. Fanny? Willy? Fail to see what's so awful about vulva and penis though. They're just words you know.

People telling her to use the correct terms - then calling the whole thing a vagina?!!

Please don't turn what was meant as an open and helpful comment into an attack. I'm not a social worker by the way, and am/was well aware of my child protection responsibilities. Teaching children either the correct terms or those universally understood is best. Get off your high horse.