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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask whether they really meant to invite my child to the party?

144 replies

Mackmama · 03/02/2022 20:34

I was talking to a mum in the school yard this morning who mentioned it was her child’s birthday and that it was great because this year at least he’ll be able to have a proper party.

I haven’t seen an invite for my child and I’m pretty sure my child and the one who’s birthday it is get along. I asked my child and he said all the others are going but he hasn’t been invited.

I’m wondering whether the invite has been lost or whether my child has been accidentally missed out. Equally I feel like it would be cheeky to ask and awkward if in fact for some reason they meant not to invite him, should I ask or just leave it?

OP posts:
greenerpastures2022 · 03/02/2022 20:38

Can you ask others parents if their child has been invited?

purpleme12 · 03/02/2022 20:39

God I would leave it
My child had a best friend for years at school. Seemed reciprocal from what I could make out. Yet never once was she invited to her party. I think it was the mum's decision unfortunately I don't think she liked me or my child.

whoopstheregoesmyshouldet · 03/02/2022 20:41

How close are they? I've still not forgiven my son's best friend at the age of 7 snubbing him and asking everyone else. He was heartbroken

Original poster
Mackmama · 03/02/2022 20:42

Yes, I’m not very close with any of the parents but there are one or two I could ask.

It doesn’t really matter just I think my child would like to go if invited. I also don’t want the other child’s parent to think I just didn’t acknowledge an invite if he actually was invited and the invite has just been lost.

OP posts:
LubaLuca · 03/02/2022 20:43

I think if your son was invited, the mother of the friend would have checked that he was able to go.

Original poster
Mackmama · 03/02/2022 20:44

They’re not best buddies but I think they do get along. They’re a nice class where most of them get along.

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 03/02/2022 20:44

I heard about a whole class party on the class WhatsApp when DD was in reception. I just asked the mum privately about it incase the invite has been lost, which it had, it was found at the end of term under the coat racks.

Namechange12312 · 03/02/2022 20:45

I had the same situation recently. I’ve just left it because I guess sometimes it’s a small party and the child chooses whoever they played with on the day they were asked. Or maybe it has been lost and the mum will ask you why You haven’t Replied to the invite.

RedHelenB · 03/02/2022 20:46

I had this once Turned out the invitation was out in dds PE bag!

TheOriginalEmu · 03/02/2022 20:48

She would have to be a special kind of bitch to talk to you about the party that everyone else but you’re child is invited too, surely? I would ask her. Worst that can happen is she outs herself as a cow. In which case you know where you stand.

Original poster
Mackmama · 03/02/2022 20:52

Yeah, and I don’t know her well but I really don’t have her down as a bitch, she seems really nice.

The plots thickened cause now he just told me the child gave him an invitation with the wrong name on so he gave it back, so is that invitation his or the other child’s?!

OP posts:
HandforthParishCouncilClerk · 03/02/2022 20:53

I think clearly your child is meant to be asked or the mum wouldn’t have mentioned the party.

Glisil · 03/02/2022 20:54

Surely she wouldn’t have mentioned it without inviting you. Perhaps the invite got lost and she is wondering why you haven’t RSVP’d but is too awkward to say it directly.
Either that or she’s a bitch.

Anniegetyourgun76 · 03/02/2022 20:55

From what you've said so far it seems likely his invites been lost, I'd ask

sweetbellyhigh · 03/02/2022 20:57

Oh I'd ask, we have missed parties because of invitations stick to soggy contents of school bag etc

Bakewelltart987 · 03/02/2022 20:58

I usually find when mums are in a playground click only there children get invited regardless of who the child actually plays with in school. It's crap when little Bill wants to invite his best mates timmy an Steve but has to invite Bill an Ben instead because there mums are friends but it's the way some parents are.

nanbread · 03/02/2022 20:58

The plots thickened cause now he just told me the child gave him an invitation with the wrong name on so he gave it back, so is that invitation his or the other child’s?!

Just say this to the mum, "DS mentioned he was given an invite to X's party but then apparently gave it back to your DS, I thought I should check whether he should have an invite or not as DS isn't sure - of course no worries either way!"

OopsadayZ · 03/02/2022 20:58

@LubaLuca

I think if your son was invited, the mother of the friend would have checked that he was able to go.
Very true. But then really bad form of the parent to discuss the party knowing that the child wasn't invited...!
sweetbellyhigh · 03/02/2022 20:59

Just something like

Please don't think me cheeky but wondering whether we had missed an invitation to said birthday party. Just don't want to appear rude by not responding if it has been missed. But totally fine of course if not invited. Really.

kingat · 03/02/2022 21:02

Did you say something like " I hope you have a good time?" She would then ask why you not coming. Or Tomorrow say "we wont see until Monday so Happy Birthday" and see what she says.

Original poster
Mackmama · 03/02/2022 21:03

Yeah, if I see her in the morning, I think I might ask. The more I think about it, the more I think there might have been an invite that’s gone astray somewhere.

OP posts:
Musicalmaestro · 03/02/2022 21:04

Yes, as others have said, my child missed a couple of parties because the invitations didn't make their way home.

Caterinasballerinas · 03/02/2022 21:06

Just ask if an invitation has made its way into your DCs possession at some point. That’s enough reason to ask politely but confidently.

peachesarenom · 03/02/2022 21:07

Definitely ask, just say 'Hi, just wondering if my DC has been invited, he's a little confused as he was handed an invite but thought it had someone else's name on! Kids (faceslap) emoji If not no worries, we'll take DC out and hope your DC has a lovely time xxx

Cantleave · 03/02/2022 21:08

Maybe if you are speaking to the mum tomorrow, you could casually ask what type of party her dc is having for their birthday, or where they are having it! Would expect that if your dc is invited, she will say something about it being on the invite and if she doesn’t then at least neither of you will be embarrassed.

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