To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

[GypsyWanderer]

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call

Sorry about the phone call , email would have been better I’m sure . I’ve had this issue with my DS and had to nag at him to shower twice a day at times when nothing else worked and forever looked for a good enough antiperspirant deodorant and shower gel , am using Dettol laundry liquid on any sports kit , daily changing of T-shirts , socks , pants , school shirts , pyjama top etc . I was sldo sniffing his armpits after showers and before school / going out anywhere for years . My brother had a really smelly period and a few relatives are like that too and I’m afraid I find it awful if you are able to help it and don’t have some issue causing it . Also still checking tooth washing , nails etc even though he’s 17 . He’s gotten better but I want to install good basic habits for adulthood . Kids can be so lazy at times about just about anything . I had to police them on this like I do about cleaning their rooms / homework / eating sensibly etc . Now DD has just started to need deodorant at least when she has school sport and once again I’m there sniffing armpits and reminding her to use it . Next it’s periods which I’m dreading …

Buy him Mitchum it works.

@Ericaequites

If you live with dogs, you no longer notice the smell. A rather good Febreeze ad described this as “nose blind.”

Off topic but apparently it was never spelled ‘Febreeze’ and it was always just ‘Febreze’. Although I distinctly remember Febreeze cause I had moved here from Africa and had never seen such a product before.

@Ericaequites We’re from the double multiverse 😃

*double E

@Nordicmom

Sorry about the phone call , email would have been better I’m sure . I’ve had this issue with my DS and had to nag at him to shower twice a day at times when nothing else worked and forever looked for a good enough antiperspirant deodorant and shower gel , am using Dettol laundry liquid on any sports kit , daily changing of T-shirts , socks , pants , school shirts , pyjama top etc . I was sldo sniffing his armpits after showers and before school / going out anywhere for years . My brother had a really smelly period and a few relatives are like that too and I’m afraid I find it awful if you are able to help it and don’t have some issue causing it . Also still checking tooth washing , nails etc even though he’s 17 . He’s gotten better but I want to install good basic habits for adulthood . Kids can be so lazy at times about just about anything . I had to police them on this like I do about cleaning their rooms / homework / eating sensibly etc . Now DD has just started to need deodorant at least when she has school sport and once again I’m there sniffing armpits and reminding her to use it . Next it’s periods which I’m dreading …

Aw that’s hard work but you’re a good mum. I was never even warned about periods, felt too embarrassed to even tell my mum when I got it since she was obviously too embarrassed to tell me about them. When the ads for pads came on tv, I would freeze with fear! It was horrible.

@BlueRoseInBloom Bloody hell! Love your gross story 🤮😃 I don’t shave my armpits (Autism/Sensory Perception Disorder) but thank Jesus I’ve never had this happen! I also find soap bar better than gel, even the expensive sensitive ones are irritating but Glycerine soap is the best. So the waxy stuff was shower gel buildup? Fascinating 🤮😖😆

@Whatdramain2022

I was working in a school and we had a teenager who stank. It wasn't a pear drop smell. He was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and never smelt again once on treatment. When PPs say don't bother the GP, if despite all the suggestions here, he still smells, get his blood sugar checked.

@Whatdramain2022

I'm a T2 diabetic and when my sugars are high, I smell like freshly baked biscuits :)

It could be worse I suppose.

You need to make sure the deodorant can says 48hr Antiperspirant. The Lynx ones have identical cans that are 'Deodorant' or 'Body Spray'.

Big difference. There's also the roll on Mitchum for Men.
I'm sure he's not the only one. They probably rang every lad's mother to be honest!
Get more school shirts and give him a clean one everyday.

To those who think this is a prank call - it won't be. I had to make many of them as a head of year. Pupils who smelled, nits, rotten teeth ... loads.

OP my friend smells. She has three dogs and dries her clothes on a maiden (airer/clothes horse etc.) and her clothes just carried that dirty dog smell.

A few pupils in my daughters class smelled and staff did not do anything about it ..other than making sure your son washes regulary. cleans clothes and uses a stronger deoderant and see if that helps ... My daughter sat in a class where a few of the teenagers smelt of poo and weed. i could smell it off one of them whilst at least 10 feet away from her rediculous expecting kids to sit in 50 mins lessons under these circumstances..

Do you have a dog ? that sleeps in his room.

@GypsyWanderer
It will definitely be the dogs. I like dogs but don't have any. If I go into a home with dogs the smell sometimes hits me - it's a horrible smell.

I always stick the boys blazers in the washing machine - 20 degrees delicate wash. Perfectly fine.
The youngest one has a terrible habit of putting dirty socks back on.. the smell blows your head off.. took me a while to locate the smell in the beginning .. thought someone had hidden aging Camembert in the living room...

Of you didn't know the name, could be a prank? I would follow up with a phone call to tutor maybe to check? X

I bet he’s popping the same shirt on despite you probably providing others as it’s clothes on the floor fly out of bed!

Are you using enough detergent in your wash, especially if it's a large capacity machine?
Check the directions on the pack: I use two Persil capsules, as it's a large capacity washing machine.

Thanks all. So much advice it’s great, really. I’m definitely going to do some of the tips and make sure I get on at him a bit more about hygiene. I feel I always nag and I try not to but I know it’ll help in the long run.

Constantly need to remind my teens to wash and apply antiperspirant. They just don’t seem to notice. Their clothes frequently honk after PE as well - I add dettol to the washing machine and wash at minimum 40 with bio powder - I find lower temps aren’t enough to shift the smell from poly cotton school shirts and polyester sports kit.

If it's any comfort, my NDN and I have slightly younger boys the same age and commiserate with eachother about their dreadful hygiene. Her DS will happily spend half an hour in the shower but not actually use soap at any point. My DS will shower well but getting him to brush his teeth at all, let alone for 2 whole minutes, requires constant reminders and supervision. We call them both filthy hobbitses!

Think this is quite common teen issue (teen girls too).
Switch his deodorant to Mitchum.
other things to help...
Soap rather than shower gel.
pretreat clothes especially pits of PE kit with a mix of water/white vinegar before putting in the wash.
Avoid detergent capsules that have added conditioner. Also agree with posters who recommend washing school blazers....dry cleaning seems to bake in the sweat.

Maybe look at getting him some stronger antiperspirant. My mum bought me Mitchum when I was a teenager and I still use it as I can still get a bit wiffy! Lol. I also have to put my vest tops on a 60°C wash in the summer as they still smelled after a 30 or 40°C wash.

Can I ask about dettol? Sorry if I’ve missed it but what dettol? Just the normal antiseptic?

Probably mean the laundry sanitiser
I like the fabulosa stuff

If he has excema get him to check for infection. Everywhere. Between his toes, back of ears, buttocks, scalp. You probably know this already so apologies if you do, but infected excema can smell very badly. Bleach baths work wonders.

Cruel to be kind. Others kids might be teasing him. I’d be thankful if a bit embarrassed.

@GypsyWanderer

This is all very enlightening stuff honestly. The dogs is one of my first thoughts now. I don’t mind if I smell of dog and I don’t mind if my house smells of dog (much anyway) because I’m one of those people that likes dogs better than most people and w e never have guests 😆 BUT I definitely don’t want the kids going out of the house smelling of them!

I had no idea that soap works better than shower gel! My boys go through a bottle of shower gel a week so would probably be more cost affective to use soap!

I once went to have a trial piano lesson at a piano teacher's flat. She invited me there. It was not a big place. She had three big dogs. I took off my coat and she put it on her bed while we went to the piano (there was nowhere to hang it).

When I put the coat back on after 45 minutes the smell of dog was overwhelming. I couldn't get rid of the smell of dog for about 3 days from my coat and it did bother me.

I didn't go back for another lesson and it was mostly do to with the overwhelming smell of dog.

I imagine your DS does smell quite strongly of dog...

I think you do become immune to the smell of animals living in your house. It's normal as it's part of your house. However, to non-animal owners, the smell is very strong.

We used to have a dog when I was younger at home and he was quite small - but I was always very aware of his very doggy smell too.

I'm quite sensitive to smells - but I think quite a lot of people are.

Also, if I don't scrub under my armpits and remove the hair, within 6 hours I'm smelling like a fry up. I can't imagine the smell if I was a bloke and couldn't get rid of the hair. Not suggesting shaving - but showing how hard it is to get rid of the bacteria lurking under those pits. You could try a stronger soap - something with tea-tree or sulphur in it which is anti-bacterial and make sure he has a really good rub around and does it twice. (you can get sulphur soap bars on amazon, I've got one).

The other thing is yes, sweat gets ingrained into material and then it just stays and adds to whatever fresh sweat you're creating and makes an unholy mix.

I have to use very hot tap water, plus a small amount of powder under each arm of my t-shirts which I leave on and sometimes scrub with the scourer for a bit to try and remove the smell of sweat that gets stuck there.

Mitchum is a good brand of stronger deoderant. I'm sure that, plus proper scrubbing with tea-tree oil under his pits, plus the white vinegar before every wash (maybe you could a small-medium paint brush to slosh it on to save time and not waste too much) or neat washing powder will have him sorted in no time.

I'm not sure what you do with dog smell - but maybe some natural deoderisers of some sort in the house?

Or suggest he undresses straight away when he comes in and puts his school uniform in a cupboard with natural deoderisers.

Maybe something like this in his cupboard, wouldn't need to open it up wide but just slightly ajar to help neutralise dogginess in the cupbaoard. www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-partners-odour-absorber-air-freshener-citrus-burst/p4811814?sku=238440535&s_ppc=2dx92700065653084180&tmad=c&tmcampid=2&gclid=Cj0KCQiAuvOPBhDXARIsAKzLQ8Fj0dUpM5fyAnRdluWgkevc7c8lMsR2U0YSv4Ee_1Y0mysGdhHKd10aAiTvEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Don't worry about what's happened. At least they've told you and you can do something about it. Much worse that it continues and people start cutting him off or being weird long-term.