To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

[GypsyWanderer]

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call

If you live with dogs, you no longer notice the smell. A rather good Febreeze ad described this as “nose blind.”

The dettol anti bacterial wash additive is good on BO smells! I used to work in a supermarket with horrible polyester uniform and my tops ended up fairly whiffy after a long shift that’s the only thing that would get the smell out

Can anyone who uses the antibacterial laundry stuff tell me where to buy it? I can see a dettol one on Amazon but would prefer a supermarket really.

@Drunkpanda tesco do one, I think most supermarkets do.
www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/291253071?sc_cmp=ppcGHS+-+Grocery+-+Repeat+&+DSPX_Shopping+GSC_Lapsing_Tesco+Brand_All+ProductsHousehold_ShoppingPRODUCT_GROUP291253071*&ds_rl=1116016&gclid=CjwKCAiAl-6PBhBCEiwAc2GOVCVD_GqiFonXYi6EVbvc2nFwvGu654sTUgCqDeG4wll12zARY6m4exoCWL4QAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

Oh, and most supermarkets sell the dettol one.

Another one. Brace yourself, this is quite gross.

My DH used to use shower gel and bathe every night after work.
(This was when he was little more than a teen. He would be mortified if it happened now.)

He stank like hell at random times but not others. It was a mystery and I wasn't going to demand a grown man to stand still while I inspected his body like I was his mum or a nurse.

It was like musty towel stink, BO, bad breath and rotten shit combined.
Sometimes stronger than than at other times. I was quite mystified as I knew he washed himself a lot.

It took me a while of tactful secret looks before I spotted the culprit.

Turns out that he thought residue of shower gel and a splash of water was enough to dissolve sweat from a days work, with no rubbing required. It was not. He is very muscular and has really deep arm pits that are hard to see, let alone allow water to magically defy gravity to get up there.

Now the gross bit.

He had small brownish yellow beads of this waxy crunchy stuff down his straggly course arm pits hairs. They did not wash off. They did not scrub off. They stank enough to make you gag at times. It was quite subtle but disgusting and got worse when he sweated. Is why it took a few weeks to track down the source.

I got over my aversion to telling him and made him scrub like hell to get rid. No joy. I had to make him shave all his pit hair off. That got rid off f the smell. He has been more careful in the years since and it never happened again.

One of my siblings went through a whiffy stage even though they showered regularly. Turns out they weren’t washing their hair or body with anything apart from water. Proper soap (a bar, not shower gels, they’re terrible) and a proper scrub with shampoo along with clean clothes every day and a good antiperspirant is probably all your son needs. It’s not nice but I think it’s quite good the school has been proactive in speaking to you.

My pre teen DC at times stinks of BO. They change school shirt every day. The bathe, wash themselves daily and put on deodorant. Yet sometimes bloody hell it’s rank. I wash at blouses at 50degrees with Fairy but once the smell is ingrained in their clothes and washing hasn’t rid the stench I buy new.

I’m going for a top 3 of dogs/shoes/clothes harbouring bacteria.

Tell him not to hug dogs whilst wearing school uniform

Not sure about shoes or trainers, but I’d run a hot or self clean cycle on your machine, then wash the clothes as hot as you can and add dettol, vinegar or oxyclean.

@OhFuckBloodyHell thank you, I've never noticed them but I suppose I always pick up the same laundry tabs and never look!

Maybe you could ask him to change out of his uniform when he gets home so he's spending less time in it, sweating etc and doesn't come into contact with the dogs? Perhaps buy another jumper/blazer to wash on rotation if you only have one of each.

I have to sniff test the hair of my teen and pre teen as they are notorious for not using soap or shower gel. Often me or dh has to chase them back to the shower where we get them to stick their head out from behind the curtain, put shampoo on their heads and rub it a bit.

My teenage son has abandoned Lynx. Says it is rubbish in stopping him smell. He is using Mitchum now and seems ok. Clean shirt and pants and socks every day.

@BlueRoseInBloom

Another one. Brace yourself, this is quite gross.

My DH used to use shower gel and bathe every night after work.
(This was when he was little more than a teen. He would be mortified if it happened now.)

He stank like hell at random times but not others. It was a mystery and I wasn't going to demand a grown man to stand still while I inspected his body like I was his mum or a nurse.

It was like musty towel stink, BO, bad breath and rotten shit combined.
Sometimes stronger than than at other times. I was quite mystified as I knew he washed himself a lot.

It took me a while of tactful secret looks before I spotted the culprit.

Turns out that he thought residue of shower gel and a splash of water was enough to dissolve sweat from a days work, with no rubbing required. It was not. He is very muscular and has really deep arm pits that are hard to see, let alone allow water to magically defy gravity to get up there.

Now the gross bit.

He had small brownish yellow beads of this waxy crunchy stuff down his straggly course arm pits hairs. They did not wash off. They did not scrub off. They stank enough to make you gag at times. It was quite subtle but disgusting and got worse when he sweated. Is why it took a few weeks to track down the source.

I got over my aversion to telling him and made him scrub like hell to get rid. No joy. I had to make him shave all his pit hair off. That got rid off f the smell. He has been more careful in the years since and it never happened again.

Oh no! 🙊 that sounds awful!

@BlueRoseInBloom

brownish yellow beads of this waxy crunchy stuff down his straggly course arm pits hairs

Omg. Sounds rank

On the subject of rank armpits, I used to do the ironing for a family including the dad's gym t-shirts. The armpits of the t-shirts were stiff and crunchy even though they were washed. If I let the iron go onto the crusty bit, OMG the stench that used to steam up was absolutely appalling

My 13 year old had to change to using Mitchum as the ‘organic’ brand is bought him was awful at stopping the smell. No issues since he changed to it

I washed dd2s blazer this evening as I walked past it and it was a bit ponkers..Also told dd17 to get in the shower as she can be a bit lazy about it.

I had to abruptly stop reading the armpit hair beads posy earlier as I was eating. 🤢

This thread is riveting.

I'm 58. My mum very carefully expained when I hit puberty at 11 that I needed to be very thorough with washing and that unfortunately men tended not to bother so much with theirs. Next morning I informed my 8 year old brother he probably wouldn't be bothering with washing. She was not amused ...

It probably was the school.
They have a duty of care and hygiene issues can be a sign of neglect or medical problems.
Your feeling miffed at them for calling is misplaced - they were helping you, but of course it's embarrassing.

Dogs are lovely and dogs smell doggy.

Teen boys smell as hormones surge, but new habits and understanding of their impact on others can take a while.

Washing's a skill like any other activity and can be learned.

Should we design a Mumsnet bathroom poster?

My first draft:

'Every morning

Shower everything with soap, shampoo and scrubby

2 minutes teeth plus mouthwash

Deodorant plus fresh shirt, pants and socks

Alternate pairs of shoes every day'

Printed on plastic and stuck on the wall

Dragon's Den - I'm on my way

A friend of mine with teenage boys finally had to sit all of them down and explain it in the most simple terms they could think of. ‘“If it’s covered in skin, hair, nails or teeth it has to be scrubbed with soap and water.”

@Interviewdisaster

Are you sure it was actually a staff member? Did they sound like an adult? Is there any chance it could be some sort of prank? Pretending to be a teacher and calling someone’s mum to tell them that they smell would have been considered the height of hilarity when I was at school

Exactly what I thought too

It’s probably the dog smell, it gets into everything and if you’re around it/him/dogs all the time you will be ‘Noseblind’ unfortunately xxx
At least you know and can hopefully sort it out xx

It's mortifying having to tell parents that their DC smells. I can imagine the member of staff was just as embarrassed having to phone you. But being bullied for having BO is worse.

Teenagers do tend to start having bo as their hormones take over. But surely they could have done it in a nice way! A general letter to all parents would have been my take on it. Its embarrassing for the child and give them even more hangups at a time when they need support. If I was a teacher I may have done a talk for the whole class to startboff.