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Original poster

To be miffed after this phone call from DS school

406 replies

GypsyWanderer · 03/02/2022 09:57

So DS is 14. I just got a phone call from a woman at the high school (I don’t recognise her name and not even sure if she is a teacher or whatever) and she tells me several members of staff and students have noticed my DS smells! I am mortified obviously. He has regular showers and deodorant etc.

I guess I’m miffed because I don’t know what to do about it except tell him every day to have a shower and deodorant which I do anyway with all the kids. I’m just shocked that several students and teachers have noticed when me and DH haven’t. Also kind of wish they had sent me an email rather than an embarrassing phone call Blush

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Toanewstart22 · 03/02/2022 15:07

Could they have used school phone?

EarthSight · 03/02/2022 15:11

If he's showering regularly then you need to make sure he has a change of clothes every day.

grapewine · 03/02/2022 15:16

@UniversalAunt

Hi *@GypsyWanderer*, I missed your posts whilst I was bashing out my comments.

The white vinegar does make a difference to the overall wash, it’s an effective in-wash rinse aid & once dried, there is no fragrance, just the neutral ‘smell’ of clean. I’ve just looked on Amazon for a generic product & it is a bit more £, but still very good value.

I didn't know this about white vinegar. Will get some.
Franklyfrost · 03/02/2022 15:17

Clean clothes and a shower everyday. Teeth brushed and deodorant everyday. You need to parent your teenager to make sure they do that. Rather than being annoyed at the school for telling you be grateful they’re trying to help. People avoid those who smell and you want your ds to have friends. If your house has four dogs in it then fewer clothes washed more regularly is better than lots of spare uniform that sits around picking up dog smell.

grapewine · 03/02/2022 15:17

Hope it gets sorted, OP, not a fun call to get. But always better to know.

FoamBurst · 03/02/2022 15:18

I haven't read the whole thread.
However mh best friend and still is now was always the 'smelly one' at school
She showered regularly.
But her clothes weren't washed often.not dried properly.
The house never had windows open so basically it overall made her smell.
It was awful as everyone spoke about her. She knew it too. It was so sad

Daisydoesnt · 03/02/2022 15:25

OP check he is actually shampooing his hair, not just rinsing it with water. My DSS when he was a teenager always said he washed his hair and we could never work out why it stank (sorry, J). We eventually worked out he was just rinsing it with water and not actually shampooing. All those teenage oils and hormones can get a bit rank! PS you sound like a lovely, very caring mum.

52andblue · 03/02/2022 15:28

Ha! I once had a call from a TA asking me: 'Mrs52 does your child have access to soap and hot water in his home accomodation?'.
I was a bit taken aback !! But I was glad they had called.
My ds has ASD. Hygiene IS an issue. It's another source of bullying.

He'd switched off to 'mum nagging' so I told him about the call. They also gave him a really nice toiletries set as a gift. He wouldn't use it ('it stinks!) but is better with use of soap these days. I also find he has to change deodorants frequently as the effecitveness of them tends to wear off after a few weeks. Mitchum brand are quite good but that had 'stopped working' for him. Fresh clothes daily, don't let him cuddle the dog too much (and wash the dog often) But the struggle is real...

SpiderinaWingMirror · 03/02/2022 15:30

Honestly I wouldn't be embarrassed.
I have had 3 teen daughters. Their ability to pick the same clothes off thr floor and spray some sort of deodorant spray has happened in all.
Clean shirts, change of jumper is key!

YeOldeTrout · 03/02/2022 15:37

My teen boys stink a lot -- there's a fierce soap dodging competition in this household. I'd just have laughed & apologised, "I know, I'm working on it"

Emmelina · 03/02/2022 15:41

He showers, but does he actually thoroughly wash himself while he’s in there? I frequently send mine back in after a quick sniff of their wet heads tells me they’ve just stuck it under the water.
I agree with others that there’ll be something up with any way of relaying the information!

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 03/02/2022 15:42

@Vloggamamma

On the upside he could have a budding career as a rapper? Maybe he wants to conduct his class when he points to his underarms he says rewind the class says bo selecta
😂
FlapsInTheWind · 03/02/2022 15:51

Sweat has urea in it. Washing at too low a temperature can leave the urea behind. You can tell this if you are ironing a shirt and it smells of wee a bit even though it has been laundered.

It might be that you need to go up 10 degrees on your wash cycle OP.

Don't be embarrassed. Teens are smelly.

ilovetea14 · 03/02/2022 16:02

My D's is 10 nearly 11 he smells so bad when he comes home from school especially if it's P.E. day that I have to wash his jumper and t-shirt. Even tho he showers but I find if I don't remind him to put on his roll on and spray it's really bad. I find the mitchum to be the best for him. I tried other deodorants but didn't work. My Ds is quite active so that doesn't help with the smell of Bo 😂

MsAgnesDiPesto · 03/02/2022 16:04

OP, I’ve got nothing to add - except to say that when you give his blazer/bag/jumper a sniff test, take them outside to do it. If your home smells ‘doggy’ and that’s what he’s picking up, you won’t be able to smell it indoors because it will just smell like the air you’re already breathing. In the same way, I only notice my clothes smelling of cooking once I’ve left the kitchen and am away from the cooking smells, in fresh air.

You sound like a great mum, and sorting this for him will stand him in good stead. Even if he’s a bit grumpy about having it pointed out now, he will be grateful later - as will his first girl/boyfriend!

Original poster
GypsyWanderer · 03/02/2022 16:16

I’ve just put both twins clothes in the wash, one has an obvious smell of sweat to it but one (the one I got the call about) doesn’t smell at all. Starting to think they called me about the wrong twin 😂

OP posts:
starfishmummy · 03/02/2022 16:16

Its so embarrassing but even in his late 20s he thought that people just went into the shower, got their head wet then came back out.

Probably a habit he got from communal showers after P.E at school!!!
Ours were arranged in a sort of corridor with showers on both sides. The teacher would turn them on and watch us walk through them to make sure we at least got our bodies wet (but not hair) but there was no actual standing there and washing let alone using any soap or shower gel. Most of us just wanted to get from one end to the other as fast as we could. And tbh that was all there was time to do if we were to get dried and to get to our next lesson on time!!

NurseButtercup · 03/02/2022 16:27

If it helps there are loads of videos on YouTube by teenagers /young adults explaining in detail how to look after your personal hygiene.

MsMeNz · 03/02/2022 16:42

Smell his worn clothes after school in areas that would smell. If they don't smell much at all it was probably a prank.

You can get used to someone close to yous smell but sticking nose in clothes. Up close you will smell and recoil if it's BO loaded 🥴

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/02/2022 16:53

@GypsyWanderer

I’ve just put both twins clothes in the wash, one has an obvious smell of sweat to it but one (the one I got the call about) doesn’t smell at all. Starting to think they called me about the wrong twin 😂
That’s what I said 😂
Darbs76 · 03/02/2022 16:55

I’d say a call if the correct way to deal with this. Many teens smell, mine did but the school never told me. He just sweated a lot and had showers but I found out he was using body spray as deodorant

SirVixofVixHall · 03/02/2022 17:07

Yes maybe the wrong twin !!
My friend told a mutual schoolfriend that she smelt of BO. She did sort it out but then I had to fetch her blazer one day for some reason and it absolutely stank to the high heavens . We had pure wood blazers that were fully lined with a rayon lining, so they were quite warm. I think her Mum was washing all her clothes, she always looked clean, but never cleaning the blazer .
I agree that polyester mix shirts hold the smell of sweat and it can be hard to get out. I buy my dds cotton-only shirts and polo shirts, John Lewis do them and M&S .
My dds don’t have blazers but with a modern washing machine you can wash blazers. Most blazers now are polyester so will cause sweatiness and then hold the smell, but should be easy to wash. A long soak , white vinegar in the rinse, and then a wash in the machine on the wool setting if necessary, depends on the fabric of the blazer.

Hesma · 03/02/2022 17:13

This is more common than you think, especially with year 9 boys when their hormones kick in. They have been a little blunt but I think their intentions were probably good as they want to avoid others being mean to your son.

Ericaequites · 03/02/2022 17:16

Make sure he washes every day with proper soap, paying special attention to his pits, feet, and genitals. He needs a clean shirt, socks, and underclothes every day, with clean slacks every other day. Wash jumpers twice a week at least, and have his blazer cleaned frequently if you have one day Saturday service or on bank holidays. Tell him about the call. Most importantly, tell him it’s very hard to date if you smell, no matter your sexual orientation or gender truth.

BlueRoseInBloom · 03/02/2022 17:19

Do you use fabric softener. When I was young and more hormonal & sweaty, I used to find my tops starting stinking of stale BO sometimes, when they got warm. Turned out fabric softener build up was holding dirt in and the pits were a bit yellow. Could never get it out, no matter how well I washed them, that is until I stopped using the vile stuff. A good wash and rinse with biological powder, soda crystals plus a touch of ACE got rid of the residual stains.