To hate a certain type of middle-class insult?

[AllThePogs]

I am working class and grew up in a very rough area. If I am going to insult you, I will insult you. It is straightforward and you know where you stand.
But there is a certain kind of middle-class person who insults people using veiled language. I see it on MN all the time.
I can't stand it. It is a way to pretend to be polite and reasonable, while often throwing insults with a pretty vicious undertone.
And these people get away with it again and again.

It's nothing to do with class.

@AllThePogs has been just as rude and insulting on another thread today. She is best ignored. She is very jealous of people who don't work, and who DARE to enjoy different things in life to her.

@AllThePogs The irony of you starting a thread about people issuing vicious put downs and insults, and then just doing that very thing yourself. It's almost funny. It would be if it wasn't so repugnant.

Not at all jealous.
You do know that women can disagree with you without being jealous?

[quote AllThePogs]@CheltenhamLady this is a discussion on another thread. And as I said there I would never say anything to anyone in real life. But yes I think living for years not doing much in your life, unless you are elderly or ill, is not good for most people. As I also said this comes from personal experience of seeing the long term impact again and again.
But people make all kind of choices that don't make them happier. Up to them.[/quote]
I imagine you are correct when you said we must move in different circles because I don't recognise anyone I know by the description you detail.

I suppose it depends on the definition of 'not doing much with your life'. By your very narrow definition - a simple not working for money I would fit the criteria. However, by my criteria and all the many happily unwaged people enjoying life and contributing to the economy by employing others and doing voluntary work, in addition to enjoying many hobbies, I come nowhere near to fitting the definition.

I have worked for money, quite a lot of it as it happens, I no longer do. My life is not poorer for it, quite the reverse.

I have tried both lifestyles and have been happy with both. Maybe it is a measure of the personal creativity of the person involved, or perhaps it is a mindset? It is possible to not work and be fullfilled, try it, you just might like it.

@AllThePogs

Not at all jealous. You do know that women can disagree with you without being jealous?

@AllThePogs

Not at all jealous...

Your posts suggest something different dear.

As you were......... I'm taking my own advice and ignoring you from now on..

Is this turning into a clone of the thread that sparked it?

I know what you mean. The worst is when someone snooty offers their advice ( often LTB), amd then finishes it with ‘but you already knew that, didn’t you?’ So condescending and twatty.

[quote AllThePogs]@ChickenStripper why do you do that? Misquote me? I didn't as you imply insult older women by talking about bumbling around the house.
There is nothing wrong with bumbling about the house. It simply means being in the house and doing lots of small jobs at a relaxed pace. It is how my elderly mum spends her days. Perfectly fine. I was simply saying that I don't think it is good for someone to live their whole adult life doing that. And I was perfectly clear on this. There were no passive aggressive insults.[/quote]
People in this situation slow down. They take ages to do things. I had a friend who is retired in her early sixties come round to help me with some DIY. She drove me bananas as everything was done at a glacial pace with lots of bumbling about You said this.

OP, you’ve posted 38 times and not given a single relevant example of what you mean.

‘Did you mean to be so rude?’ Doesn’t count, as it’s something you say to people being rude to you.

Haven’t RTFT, OP, but yeah. Hate it. It’s because it’s so dismissive. Unfortunately I work with a lot of people like this. Eg, after months of computer issues and IT being unhelpful I expressed frustration to my boss and asked if he was also having issues. “Sometimes,” he said. “But then I get over it and move on with my life.” Still grinds my gears.

I can't be bothered with "nuanced" PA crap and so am someone who is told they can be too blunt/direct in a disagreement. Personally I just respond to passive-agressive remarks by pointing out that passive agression is simply cowardly agression and they're not fooling anyone. If they tell me I'm being too sensitive and feign innocence, I just play them at their own game and make a PA retort apologising for over-estimating their grasp of language and social skills or whatever. I suppose it is a 'class' thing if we talking about 'class' in terms of education and careers. We can see that Question Time, HOC debates, PMQs etc. are horrendous with everyone trying to insult their opponent and landing a blow without being quotable as saying something really offensive. HOC leader of the SNP was kicked out the debate the other day because you're not allowed to call someone a liar in the HOC even when they have clearly been caught lying. Got to do the 'nuance', implication, hint, "it maybe that the honourable gentleman inadvertently misled the public when he denied the existence of a birthday party he in fact attended..." etc.

[quote AllThePogs]@SwishSwishBisch why do you want to belittle people? I don't understand that desire at all.[/quote]
You did a bloody good job of it on the housewife thread!

Hopefully the above is direct enough, maybe with a bit of PA thrown in for good measure.

I have a really hard time with passive aggressive stuff because it actually confuses me. It is like the words and meaning don´t match (which is the goal I guess).

A very passive aggressive woman I had the misfortune to have to be around a few years ago said that I was an incredibly fast walker... for someone with such short legs. She followed with a smile and a hollow laugh. I replied that she walked remarkably fast for a cow.

(Unfortunately I only replied in my head and probably just looked confused)

Phrases like 'call a spade a spade' and 'tell it as it is' are also euphanisms for being rude, whoever uses them.

People seem to be so proud when they announce they "tell it as it is" - it's just rudeness, nothing at all to be proud of.

[quote AllThePogs]@Legomania I think passive-aggressiveness makes people far more angry. People arent stupid, they know when they are being insulted.

And so many people on here seem to assume I am promoting aggressiveness. Is this part of the issue? They assume the only two choices is outright aggression or passive agressiveness?

But as said in the OP I will insult some people. If a man cat calls me on the street I will shout - fuck off you sleazy git. I mean this is rare. I am a pretty quiet person usually. But I can stand up for myself if I have to.[/quote]
But what’s so superior about shouting ‘Fuck off, you sleazy git ’ to a cat-caller, rather than saying ‘Thank you — I was nothing before you validated my existence just now’? What makes one ‘better’?

Straight talking is always the best. Honest talk. No BS. It doesn't matter what "class" the person thinks they are...
Saying what you mean is important. Xx

It's a lot to do with class. I first became aware of it on the school run when I heard a posh but impeccably socialist woman describe another woman as 'chippy '. Clever isn't it? If you disagree it's a sign that you too are 'chippy'.

Because the OP herself brought class into, I did read the OP and think it sounded as if she had a massive chip on her shoulder. So, yes, ‘chippy’.

If she hadn’t mentioned class, I don’t think I’d have thought that….

@RosieGuacamosie

You sound delightful

And, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

But what’s so superior about shouting ‘Fuck off, you sleazy git ’ to a cat-caller, rather than saying ‘Thank you — I was nothing before you validated my existence just now’? What makes one ‘better’?

Love this.

And the latter is almost guaranteed to leave the sort of man who cats calls, scratching his head and confused. Yes I’m being an unmitigated snob with that comment.

Shouting ‘fuck off’ at cat-caller is ill-advised, at best.

@RosieGuacamosie

”mannerless idiots.”

Have a look in the mirror, dearie. And try to be careful of accusing others of that which you, yourself, are guilty.

Or better yet, think before you type and lash out.

[quote AllThePogs]@Legomania Either they apologise. Or they say they were not rude and why.[/quote]
@AllThePogs

Or, even worse…

They say, “If you were offended, then I apologize.”

A NON APOLOGY FOR THE AGES

Surely rude is rude, whether it is delivered bluntly, or in a pass-ag manner? Personally I prefer the subtle dig, when someone doesn't realise they have been insulted until half an hour later, but its a tricky one to pull off. Of course the occasional fuck off is satisfying too.