Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 21 22 23 ··· 39 40

Original poster

that school should offer lunch time detentions?

1000 replies

ljs22 · 02/02/2022 14:40

Regular poster, NC for this post,

Firstly, I completely agree with the concept of detentions. If my dd (15) has done something wrong, she needs to be punished. That's fine. Thankfully she doesn't get them often - just the occasional one, usually for not doing homework on time.

But (here's the AIBU). After school detentions mean that she misses the school coach, which I pay £60 a month for to bring her home. I work 4 days a week and my partner works long and unpredictable shifts, so we are invariably not available to collect her when she has an after school detention. We have no family locally who can help out.

We also live a 40 min drive away from the school and public transport is a pain as we are in the back end of nowhere and she'd need to get 2 (sometimes 3) buses, one of which runs only every hour, so if she misses that she has a really long wait. Hence why I pay for the coach in the first place as it brings her right to the street we live on.

I've been informed today by email that she's been given an hour detention tomorrow for not doing homework. I've contacted the school to request a lunch time one instead in the circumstances.

But .. AIBU to request this? I'm not sure if I am or not, but I honestly don't know what to do. I can't take time off work to collect her from school, neither can my partner, and I don't want her stranded for ages waiting for buses either when I pay a company to bring her home for precisely that reason.

OP posts:

Kanaloa · 02/02/2022 20:57

Okay, you’ve batted down all possible suggestions. Maybe you could go into school and explain that your child thinks homework is boring so you don’t want her punished for not doing it. Hopefully the rest of her life will also revolve around her only completing tasks which are pleasant and interesting to her and any university assignments she is set will be optional.

Original poster

ljs22 · 02/02/2022 20:57

@ElftonWednesday

We need more adults who are comfortable saying ‘that task is a waste of my time, I’m not doing it’

Agreed!

Additionally we also need more adults who can READ THE FUCKING THREAD and stop laying into the OP without being in possession of the full facts and coming across as bigoted, narrow-minded and thick as fucking mince.

I like you.

OP posts:

Staryflight445 · 02/02/2022 20:58

Ops daughter isn’t being an issue at school, she didn’t hand in her homework for whatever reason.
One hour after school detention for that which puts her safety at risk getting home is just absolutely ridiculous.

Furbulousnous · 02/02/2022 20:58

'My sons school only give lunch time detentions. An hours detention for not completing a piece of homework is ridiculous.'

Is that because no-one comes to after school detentions? The school I work with only have after school and it's almost pointless and 2 thirds ( backed up by parents BTW) don't bother turning up.
Lunchtime ones went because of the accusations from parents of 'starving' their kids and because staff are needed elsewhere at breaktimes.

Kanaloa · 02/02/2022 20:59

@Staryflight445

No I do not work for free. I do my university work after work for free though. In fact I’m paying them to do it. Much of it is difficult and some of it is (in my opinion) pointless and boring. If I do not turn it in on time I lose points from my grade. If I don’t turn it in at all I won’t be able to graduate and therefore be able to get a better job.

Pumperthepumper · 02/02/2022 20:59

@Kanaloa

Not just boring; pointless. Homework is pointless.

Original poster

ljs22 · 02/02/2022 20:59

@Kanaloa

I certainly haven't batted down all suggestions. I've thanked a poster for her suggested email template, for example, which I shall be using when I contact the teacher to discuss this further.

OP posts:

Volhhg · 02/02/2022 21:01

@Kanaloa

She can take it out of saved up pocket money. It’s not likely to be a repeat performance.

Assuming she gets pocket money, loads of kids don't get pocket money

ElftonWednesday · 02/02/2022 21:01

If every adult at work said ‘that’s boring I’m not doing it’ there would be a lot of vital tasks that don’t get done

Many adults do, frequently, and the really smart ones who were taught to not just blindly accept things the way they are, are often the ones who get promoted or get better jobs and leave the dutiful mugs getting on with the rubbish tasks they've long left behind.

Staryflight445 · 02/02/2022 21:02

Homework doesn’t count against OPs daughters final grades though. She spends most of her time at school and travelling to and from school, free time is important for mental health, especially when you’re a teenager.
Nobody should be being punished with detentions for not doing homework so long as they’re handing in work that does count towards their final grades and are performing well in school hours.

WitchWithoutChips · 02/02/2022 21:05

@Staryflight445

Homework doesn’t count against OPs daughters final grades though. She spends most of her time at school and travelling to and from school, free time is important for mental health, especially when you’re a teenager. Nobody should be being punished with detentions for not doing homework so long as they’re handing in work that does count towards their final grades and are performing well in school hours.

There are no external examinations between year 6 and year 11 so by your logic there are four whole year groups of children who can happily do nothing, and the y11 don’t need to start work until their first exam.

GCSEs are the measure at the culmination of compulsory schooling. Everything counts.

Goldenbear · 02/02/2022 21:05

I think they should offer her a lunchtime detention but then I think detentions are archaic. My DS had one for being late too many minutes in a week or something, even though he was present for registration the teacher marked him as absent as he arrived in registration not outside the classroom- petty and ridiculous. I was a teen in the 90s and it wasn't as strict. I would have a detention for being late but that was after about a month of being late. I just don't remember it being about putting the parents out- seems a modern m and severe backward step.

PelvicFloorTrauma · 02/02/2022 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Sowhatifiam · 02/02/2022 21:07

the really smart ones who were taught to not just blindly accept things the way they are, are often the ones who get promoted or get better jobs and leave the dutiful mugs getting on with the rubbish tasks they've long left behind

By far the majority of people who refuse to do their jobs soon find themselves out of a job. Perhaps the teacher should just refuse to teach? It is pretty pointless when kids are told by their parents that they don’t have to bother doing the work set or conform to school rules after all.

Awalkintime · 02/02/2022 21:07

@Whatelsecouldibecalled

When is the teacher that is staffing the lunch detention supposed to have their lunch and the legal requirement of a break?

They don't get one and some parents don't care at all.

StoneofDestiny · 02/02/2022 21:09

Schools do t work round parents jobs - anymore than the NHS gives me an appointment when it suits me i.e. Saturday or Sunday.

Detention is meant to be inconvenient and a deterrent. Parents will be inconvenienced and have to rope in others to assist if necessary. Your daughter is at fault, not the school.
At her age she will soon be out and about in the dark socialising at weekends and you'll have to make arrangements for her safety then too.

Sowhatifiam · 02/02/2022 21:09

So, fear? Make them scared to fail?

No love, a lesson in real life consequences. Having children with both disabilities and learning difficulties, failure is pretty much what we do day in, day out.

UppermillSarah · 02/02/2022 21:12

You need to supervise your daughter and make sure she does her homework. Then you know she won't get a detention for not doing it. Detentions are supposed to be inconvenient for pupils and parents in the hope that you will act as the primary educator for your child.

Original poster

ljs22 · 02/02/2022 21:14

Schools do t work round parents jobs -

That's exactly what they have done, though. They asked me when either me or my partner was free to collect her factoring in our work shifts, and rearranged the detention to next week when my partner is off work. Some schools clearly will make an attempt to do just this when a parent is struggling. Thank goodness my DD's school is one of them.

OP posts:

Kanaloa · 02/02/2022 21:15

@ElftonWednesday

If every adult at work said ‘that’s boring I’m not doing it’ there would be a lot of vital tasks that don’t get done

That’s just not my experience whatsoever. In my experience those who ‘get promoted or get better jobs’ are people who value education and have a good work ethic, who are confident in organising their workload and don’t need external assistance to make sure they get all necessary work done.

My experience of people who say ‘that’s boring, I’m not doing it,’ are that they usually get sacked.

Staryflight445 · 02/02/2022 21:15

It should be a choice @WitchWithoutChipsno hasn’t homework been found to be completely pointless anyway?
After absorbing so much during the day for such long hours at school, going home and doing that.

I don’t value homework as important at all. I don’t know anybody who actually found it useful.

You can do all the homework in the world, at the end of the day if you don’t knuckle down and revise for an exam, you’re not going to do well.

Pumperthepumper · 02/02/2022 21:15

@Sowhatifiam

So, fear? Make them scared to fail?

No love, a lesson in real life consequences. Having children with both disabilities and learning difficulties, failure is pretty much what we do day in, day out.

And what does that lesson look like?

saraclara · 02/02/2022 21:16

Jeeze. I started off thinking you were BU. And part of me does wonder exactly when your DD answered those questions.

But jeeze, the vitriol, the lack of comprehension and the creativity of some posters who've pretty much made up their own version of events, is just stunning.

I'm a (just retired) teacher, and I needed my lunch 'breaks' to do my work and prepare for the afternoon's lessons, so if I had to keep a child back in the classroom it was a complete pain in the neck as I couldn't leave the room to gather resources, discuss with a colleague or go to the loo.
But after reading some of the insanity on here, I'm on your side, OP.

Staryflight445 · 02/02/2022 21:19

‘ That’s just not my experience whatsoever. In my experience those who ‘get promoted or get better jobs’ are people who value education and have a good work ethic, who are confident in organising their workload and don’t need external assistance’

So children can do this at school, by working hard when they’re there. External assistance is homework pushing, good work ethic… do you think they’re taking their work home with them? Like you’re expected to at school? Nah…

Original poster

ljs22 · 02/02/2022 21:19

@saraclara

Jeeze. I started off thinking you were BU. And part of me does wonder exactly when your DD answered those questions.

But jeeze, the vitriol, the lack of comprehension and the creativity of some posters who've pretty much made up their own version of events, is just stunning.

I'm glad someone else sees it!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 ··· 21 22 23 ··· 39 40

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is not accepting new messages.

Swipe left for the next trending thread