Gah! Wrote a post and it's vanished
Basically YABVU
Your daughter and her behaviour IS your responsibility (your plural I am very much inc her dad in this!)
It's happening often enough it's bothering you enough to start a thread.
I see NO indication that you ARE doing all you could to ensure she is doing her homework in a timely manner to the best of her ability. None.
Indeed a few of your comments show this to be true.
Are you sure the homework was done before hand in time and not after to try and escape detention.
Entirely possible I think.
One question may seem petty but if as it seems this is a regular occurrence I can understand why the school/subject teachers concerned are fed up! It's as pp said "straw that broke the camels back"
Even in your op you come across as blasé re her even getting a detention.
My dd managed to make it all through high school without getting a single detention!
My own rule (single parent) was homework was to at least be started if not completed the day it was issued. If dd was stuck she asked me or another pupil or if there was time between issue and due day then the teacher, if she asked me and I didn't know I'd do my own research to get an answer.
In your (mum AND dad) shoes I would be
Checking her homework diary daily
Making her do the homework in my presence
Checking it
Making sure she placed it in her bag.
Quite frankly she'd be getting grounded for a month too - home and school only, no phone, no calling friends, no friends around, no screentime aside from joint family viewing, no pocket money if she gets it.
Enough is enough op. She needs to learn and it is her parents responsibility to teach her. Your methods haven't worked this far have they?
IF she is genuinely struggling in certain subjects then speak to the school about reassessing her streaming position, possibly additional tuition needed
But IF as I suspect it's just she doesn't like these subjects - tough! That's life, we all have to do stuff that isn't fun!
@RegardingMary you are WAY out of touch as to how education and educators are being massively underfunded and unsupported by this govt.
A lack of a spare pen IS an issue as they're often not even getting enough money for BASIC supplies to the point many are relying on charity and even teachers themselves buying BASICS like pens out of their own pockets!
She says she did it last night.
But she has lied before so as you didn't see her do it or check it you can't possibly know, you need to at least check with the school
I’m really firm with my kids - if they’re wronged by school I will back them to the hilt, but if they lie to me and make me look stupid then a one off detention will be nothing in comparison to the loss of tech/privileges that will occur when it tumbles out (which it always does).
I was the same. I'm not a "school is always right" person but I'm also not a "the child/parent is always right" one either.
The content and tone of ops posts leads me to believe the dd has been getting away with murder homework wise at home for some time.
I'm also of the belief this is occurring on a fairly regular basis despite ops denials on this
Yes I do believe her. She's quite open about things and jn the past has just outright said to me "I didn't do it because I couldn't be bothered, I hate geography/maths" (etc).
And now you're backpedaling/contradicting yourself
Upthread you admitted you've asked her if she's done her work and she's lied!
It can't be both!
Wow! Yea you're that parent - your child can do no wrong in your eyes
You aren't doing her any favours here
WHEN was the homework issued?
(I'm not necessarily expecting an honest answer to this, given it's Wednesday and high school I suspect at least as long ago as Monday, possibly as long as a week ago depending on subject plenty of time to ask you, dad, other pupils, teacher etc)
I seriously doubt this detention was given 'because of gaps in her knowledge'. It will have been given because she didn't do her homework.
Me too
I think if there was an ongoing issue with my DD I'd have been made aware by now.
I think you have been - or should be your own comments show there have been repeated issues with homework not being done. It's your job as parents to resolve this
Initially it was, until I saw that she has in fact attempted the work. Now I think it's disproportionate.
1 you don't know WHEN she wrote that and that it really was only 1 question missed
2 you've admitted this is a repeated problem
3 she didn't try that hard considering she clearly hadn't asked anyone for help!
So you've made it OK for her and if she doesn't feel like doing homework again she knows there will be a chauffeur to take her home, almost worth doing the detention for.
Yep and not a single mention of any discipline or steps to prevent it happening again happening at home
and deduct his fuel money from her allowance. But after seeing her attempt at the so called "lack of homework", I'm less inclined to do this. I don't agree that she has done anything wrong in this case. She's made an attempt, and struggled with one question. I don't think that's punishment worthy.
And therein lies the problem!
Getting a clear message works just the same as it did 40 years ago
Damn straight!
The message this 15 year old is getting is she doesn't have to do her homework if she cba! (From parents)
That is not a lesson that will serve her well in life. In 3 years she will either be at uni (and having to manage a lot of independent study and self motivating herself to do so) or working (where she will be expected to arrive for work prepared as required)
Time to stop mollycoddling her.