Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to let nanny go

226 replies

Nikster1986 · 02/02/2022 11:16

We were due to have a new nanny start this morning, to look after my youngest. She texted half hour before she was due to be here to say her mum was taking her dog to the vet today. So she (the nanny) couldn't come in because she had to take care of her brother who wasn't in school at the moment because his grandpa died last week.
I sympathise that things can converge and create a bit of a sh*t storm all at once. It sounds like that's the case here. But, why can't the son go to the vets with the mum? Why does the vets take all day? She hasn't offered a solution just said that was the case. She didn't even ask are we OK if she doesn't come, just stated it as fact.
Last night I was out for dinner and it turns out she also works nights at a restaurant and I do wonder if she is just plain tired and doesn't want to spend the day with an energetic 1 year old.
We need a reliable nanny; my husband works away so I need the support as my eldest has some additional development challenges.
So would IBU to find someone else. I've just started back to work so I'm only working 2 days and have the time to find someone. But I won't really once I'm back full time. I feel like I should cut our losses straight away. Appreciate thoughts

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 02/02/2022 11:40

Definitely agree that this is not the person that you need!

ThisIsYourLifeToo · 02/02/2022 11:40

@madisonbridges

I wouldn't even reply.maje her sweat and then say your budgie died and you needed to sit on it's eggs for the day before taking your husband to the zoo after his shoes got lost so you're sorry but she's no longer needed.

😂😂😂
Oh yes, text this.

😂
20viona · 02/02/2022 11:41

I'd get rid too.

AnneElliott · 02/02/2022 11:49

Yes this doesn't bode well for the future if this is the first day! Plus why is the brother not at school? If it's fine for the mum to leave him then he's fine to go to school!

dogsfrogslogs · 02/02/2022 11:50

Yikes.

As an ex-nanny of decades, she is supposed to be a problem solver, not giver Shock

That is truly shocking behaviour on her part and an embarrassment for all nannies.

Sorry she let you down, OP.

unfortunateevents · 02/02/2022 11:51

The more elaborate the story the more likely it is to be a lie I find. This looks like one of those situations.

HaveringWavering · 02/02/2022 11:52

The fact that she texted and did not call you tells you all you need to know. Ya fired!

HaveringWavering · 02/02/2022 11:53

Is she even a nanny anyway? Sounds more like a teen doing a bit of childcare.

Didkdt · 02/02/2022 11:55

@dogsfrogslogs nails it.
The evening work as well.
Why did she leave her last job?

HelloFrostyMorning · 02/02/2022 11:56

Hmmm, she does sound flaky already. I would defo let her go before she starts. Unfortunately some - not all - but some young people (lie under 25) are quite unreliable as employees, especially if they still live with their parents.

JustOneCup · 02/02/2022 11:56

@unfortunateevents

The more elaborate the story the more likely it is to be a lie I find. This looks like one of those situations.
Definitely the case
HelloFrostyMorning · 02/02/2022 11:56

LIKE under 25, not 'lie' ...

Gardengates · 02/02/2022 11:56

If the care of her charges is a lower priority than her mother's dog, I would definitely let her go.

Ragruggers · 02/02/2022 11:57

Is she a qualified nanny?I would prefer a nursery otherwise you will always be on edge thinking about her not turning up.Maybe a childminder would be better if not nursery.

Justcallmebebes · 02/02/2022 11:57

Who does this, doesn't turn up on their first day? Serious illness, RTA, coma, death then yes, but her excuse was pathetic.

We had a woman recently here who did the same. Called in sick on her first day, came in 1 day and then had Covid so disappeared for 10 days. She was sacked

ButtOutBobsMum · 02/02/2022 11:58

Oh dear. She’s used three classic work skive excuses in one there-having to take pet to the vets, breakdown in childcare and a dead grandparent! TBF if she does actually start working for you, she won’t have many left to use Wink

HelloFrostyMorning · 02/02/2022 11:58

@Nikster1986 As @BlippiPoops said, send this...

I wouldn't even reply. Make her sweat and then say your budgie died and you needed to sit on it's eggs for the day before taking your husband to the zoo after his shoes got lost so you're sorry but she's no longer needed.

Brilliant.Grin

Original poster
Nikster1986 · 02/02/2022 11:58

Thanks all. I did wonder if I was being a bit harsh - after all, it's her income and I'd hate to leave someone unable to pay their rent. However, she clearly has another job so probably won't be in totally dire straits. Though I don't know why she has another job - her salary with us is £25k for 4 days plus pension. I didn't make anything like that at 25! She is a qualified nanny and employed by us - her references were all fine though it was through an agency who maybe don't vet as well as they claim to. I guess we're going back to the drawing board on this

OP posts:
SuperSocks · 02/02/2022 11:58

Is she even qualified/insured/experienced/with contactable referees?

billy1966 · 02/02/2022 12:00

@LapinR0se

“I need someone reliable so unfortunately this is not going to work for us. Best of luck for the future” And block.
This.

I wouldn't entertain this for a minute.

AtLeastPretendToCare · 02/02/2022 12:00

TBH if this is her attitude on her first day at work this is never going to work out. I would cut your losses.

BarbaraofSeville · 02/02/2022 12:00

@unfortunateevents

The more elaborate the story the more likely it is to be a lie I find. This looks like one of those situations.
Plus the fact that she took the cowards way out and did it by text, when it's totally inappropriate to not call and explain in person.
Sunnysideup999 · 02/02/2022 12:01

An unreliable nanny is as bad / worse ? than no nanny.
The excuse is not satisfactory
I’d not bother with this one

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/02/2022 12:02

Where did you find her

What age and experience does she have

But yes she is flakey and unreliable

Her mum needed to sort out her son /nanny’s brother. Not nanny

Tho as it’s 2 days now she can def work in a restaurant but when full time I wouldn’t be happy with that

Tho. Equally what a nanny or any employee does in own time is up to them as long as doesn’t impact on day working life

senua · 02/02/2022 12:02

Definitely let her go.
Make it the agency's problem; they have let you down, too. Did you pay a fee for this because, if so, they should find you a new nanny FOC.

Swipe left for the next trending thread