Mainly a lurker here, but I’m going out of my mind worrying. There’s a bit of backstory but I think it’s all relevant. I’ll try to keep it as brief as I can:
I came back from maternity leave last year to an almost entirely new team. The only people who had stayed with the business was my manager and a colleague (call her A), everyone else moved on during the pandemic.
The rest of the team were new and mostly very pleasant. One colleague, B, seemed a bit cool and distant when we met, but our roles have little day to day cross over and we only worked in the office together on occasional days whilst I was settling back in after mat leave. We’re still mainly working from home and B’s day in the office is on a different day to mine. I’m not particularly concerned about having friends at work so I’ve not paid it much attention, just kept it friendly and polite but there were times where I felt she was being a bit short and rude.
Last week I came into the office on a different day due to an appointment - it was A and B’s regular day. A was talking about possible names for her baby, her DH likes the name Layla but they already have a Laura and she thinks their too similar. I said it may be worth thinking about them having the same initials as when I was at university I shared a house with someone with the same initial and surname as me and post was a nightmare, things got mixed up all the time as we had the same bank, gym, letters from the uni etc. B didn’t say much at the time other than it’s really difficult naming babies and Layla was a lovely name. It was just a brief conversation.
Last night, A sent me a text warning me that B is thinking of going to management because she was very unhappy with our conversation as she has two adult children with the same first initial and she didn’t like my comments on their lives being a nightmare. What????? Firstly, I did know she had a son and a daughter but I didn’t know their names had the same initial. secondly, my point about post getting mixed up wouldn’t be relevant as her children’s would be addressed Mr and Miss? A tried to defend me and say I didn’t mean it how she’s taken it but B is adamant about her taking this further as she “won’t be bullied in the workplace by anyone”. 8
I am so so embarrassed at the thought of her going to our manager. I absolutely love my job and they’ve been so flexible allowing me to work part time, chose days and hours etc. I’m trying to be rational and think my manager wouldn’t jump the gun without speaking to me but today’s not my working day so I’m panicking that when I get back B will have told her side and her mind will be made up. Not that my manager has ever given me any indication that he wouldn’t treat any issue with fairness I just feel so worked up.
If you were the manager after talking to both of us you would see this for what it is and not take it further?
YABU - this is workplace bullying
YANBU - this is a misunderstanding and not workplace bullying