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Original poster

Overwhelmed by the amount of alcohol that DH keeps buying

176 replies

BlondeDogLady · 01/02/2022 11:44

Please someone talk me down.

My DH keeps buying spirits, because he thinks they could be collectors items in the future, or simply because he thinks the bottle looks cool or quirky.

We do not drink spirits There are maybe a few times in the summer, where he might make us a cocktail, which would require using spirits, but that's literally it.

If we are drinking, it's white wine we would always have.

I have a lovely old cabinet that was my Nan's. This is now so full of bottles, that one of the shelves has cracked with the weight. Then when the cabinet was full, the collection started being put on the floor, growing slowly outwards on the carpet, or it got put in the window seat (hollow underneath).

I have just tried to tidy them up a bit, and felt utterly overwhelmed by all of this drink that we will never consume - I counted 104 bottles !
They are a combination of unopened, or mostly he has opened the bottle to try, so it's almost full, but certainly couldn't be gifted to someone in that state.

I know this is a first world problem, but I feel so absolutely overwhelmed by this amount of stupid and pointless consumerism, not to mention the clutter it's creating.

He does not have hoards of cash by any means either. So spending this much of stuff we don't drink seems stupid!

He does the same with CD's - buys at least 2 every week, so we now have thousands. They look okay as we have a lot of shelving.

What would you suggest? It's making me feel sick.

OP posts:
mumofmunchkin · 01/02/2022 18:15

They certainly won't be collectors items if they've been opened and not stored properly. They'll be worth nothing.

BoodleBug51 · 01/02/2022 18:19

I think you should reclaim the cupboard.

It's really shit that it's something important to you and he's damaging it.

Can you say you've got someone to repair it and it needs to be emptied?

JustcameoutGC · 01/02/2022 18:26

Better hope you dont have a fire, because your gaff is going up like a distillery. Would question if insurance would pay out with that volume of flammable liquid in the house

MrsClatterbuck · 01/02/2022 18:30

Those Canadian Goose coats are very expensive. I have seen ones lately costing at least €1000

SpacePotato · 01/02/2022 18:54

DO NOT get a bloody storage unit! Besides pissing more money up the wall, it will give him another space to fill.

Stop caring that the bottles will be on the floor in his room or in his way. Make it his problem.

TempName01 · 01/02/2022 19:29

Drink some with your friends, pour some down the sink and say it was off. Box up the unopened ones and put in his room. Use some to make desserts. Stage a shelf collapse or burglary 😄

izzysl · 01/02/2022 20:54

@MrsClatterbuck

Those Canadian Goose coats are very expensive. I have seen ones lately costing at least €1000
I just checked on ebay, they are £££s even second hand Shock. OP, are you sure that he hasn't got a shopping addiction and debts because of it?
BrimFullOfAsher · 01/02/2022 21:16

I'm curious as to what some of the ones he thinks he will make a profit from are?

Go have a look and let us know 🙂

RandomMess · 01/02/2022 23:44

The point of it going in his room even though there is no room is that he has to deal with there being "no room"

Juniper68 · 02/02/2022 11:00

@RandomMess

The point of it going in his room even though there is no room is that he has to deal with there being "no room"
Exactly!
Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 13:19

I spoke to him last night, and he has promised not to buy any more. However, we have been here before! I drank some last night (bottles with dregs in) and feel a bit pants this morning.

Yes, the Canada Goose are expensive. He had 3. Then bought another one, but to his credit he has just sold one, but now he's talking about buying another one. It is some kind of obsession, I think.

He isn't in debt, thankfully!

OP posts:
Ohbotherpiglet · 02/02/2022 13:37

If he doesn’t mind you drinking some I would be pouring the dregs ones down the sink when he’s not looking and pretending you’re drinking them.

SocialConnection · 02/02/2022 13:53

It is an obsession. An all consuming compulsion to collect examples of a particular random thing.

He needs help. GP, psychiatric support, analysis - are any of these a possibility? Of course he'd have to acknowledge there's something wrong first, which is clearly part of the problem. Any relations or friends who could be your allies?

RantyAunty · 02/02/2022 13:55

It sounds like you can work on the open ones.

Have one or two drinks and the rest tipped and bottle in the bin.

All the coats. Would he be willing to donate most of them to charity?

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 02/02/2022 14:09

@BlondeDogLady

My other half will not discard old, obsolete, often broken tech. DVD players, extension cables, digital cameras and recording kit he will never use because the phone does it all now

You have my sympathy - we have a box of this crap as well.

Only a box! We have a houseful. It makes me want to cry. Broken crap, worn out crap, obsolete crap and lots of clothes that are never worn. If I sort it he gets irate. I used to do sneaky sort and dumps when I was physically able to and he genuinely never missed anything. He can never find his stuff any wayGrinUnfortunately now it is all just piling up around me.
Can you put some of his less obvious bottles in a box out of the way and if he doesn't notice in say a couple of months then give them to me throw them out?
Aspiringmatriarch · 02/02/2022 14:25

Following with interest as my partner is similar. He has multiples of everything (I'm talking far more than needed) - everything from underwear and shoes to jars of different sauces (actually food in general, he loves cooking and buys and makes way more than we can eat so lots gets thrown away), to vinyl - many recordings of the same classical pieces, which I know can be different but a) he rarely listens to them and b) we are drowning in clutter. If I suggest decluttering he says it's a waste. His parents are the same and their house is full of decades worth of junk.

He also starts and abandons jobs and projects and has to get all the expensive equipment which then lies around gathering dust, there definitely is a compulsive element to it. Nothing gets put away either and even paperwork just piles up and piles up 😭. Debt has been an issue too.

I'm not sure what on earth to do. He's so lovely and personable and will just agree with me if I say anything and then bounce on to the next thing. I don't think he can help it.

Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 14:28

Actually, we do have more than a box. His room is full of silly purchases. The garage is full. We have a bag full of chargers and leads that I don't know what are for. The footstool has crap in it, as does a storage box and an ottoman in the garage full of more CD's. He has his own man cupboard in the kitchen, where everything has been slotted on, or balanced upon, so much so, that if you wanted to extract an item, the whole contents would fall out like a tower of Jenga.

OP posts:
Original poster
BlondeDogLady · 02/02/2022 14:30

Aspiringmatriarch That sounds really difficult. Could you perhaps persuade him to sell stuff?

OP posts:
butterpuffed · 02/02/2022 14:44

If he's been collecting from when you were first together, 13 years, that's roughly every 6 to 7 weeks he's bought a bottle.

Unless he's counting them, just remove one or two each time he gets a new one !

ThatsGoingToHurt · 02/02/2022 14:57

@BlondeDogLady what storage space do you have for your personal belongs (apart for chest of drawers and a wardrobe) since your DH has a whole garage, an office, an ottoman, a man cupboard in the kitchen, the footstool and a storage box.

I would subdivide the storage in the house into ‘family areas’ for stuff that belong to the house e.g the kitchen cupboards contain food, his storage for his crap, and your storage for your crap.

It’s the only thing that worked with my husband. He knows if stuff is left in a family area it will get chucked into his junk cupboard. If he goes to put stuff in his junk cupboard and it full then he needs to put an item in the bin and create room for his new piece of junk!

ThatsGoingToHurt · 02/02/2022 15:04

Could you and your DH agree to a ‘no spend’ month where you only buy food and pay essential bills. That might try to train him out of the habit of constantly buying stuff? Maybe you could both save for a holiday later this year?

inappropriateraspberry · 02/02/2022 18:42

Are you positive there is no debt? You said you have separate finances, so how would you know?

bettertocryinamercedes · 02/02/2022 19:57

My husband collects whisky too - but he loves it. Some he drinks and some are for investment.

He has them on shelves in his bar and in boxes in the loft so they don't take up any of 'my' space!

What he's doing would drive me mad too!!

RandomMess · 02/02/2022 20:22

I'm the messy one and not good and getting rid. Reading about the amount of stuff he is cluttering your house with I'd be making him and his stuff out!

Becca8675309 · 31/03/2023 21:28

You can give away opened alcohol (and almost any food products) on the OLIO app - people come and collect. I've given away both opened and unopened alcohol and it's usually requested in minutes!