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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I devastated by my 26 yr old daughters tattoos

999 replies

Choclover27 · 31/01/2022 23:19

Yup. I hate them. Today she showed me her new ‘sleeve’. It’s big black bold and bloody awful. She already has numerous tattoos and they’re getting bigger each time. She seems addicted. I don’t like tattoos. I don’t have to like them. That’s my choice. I’ve cried over it/her in private ! I’ve read up about parents reactions to our kids tattoos. And we are supposed to be happy that they are expressing themselves. But I’m struggling with that. I was ok with a few, ok with all the piercings… but the sleeve is too far. In my opinion. Does anyone else feel like me or am I the bitch mother from hell?

OP posts:

PickAChew · 31/01/2022 23:48

I'm not a fan but she's an adult (by a long way) and it's her body.

GreenLunchBox · 31/01/2022 23:48

She'll regret it when she's older. The amount of clients that tell me they do when they have to whip out their arms for me is unreal

I get bored of pics on my WALLS after a while. I can't imagine staring at a permanent print on my arm every day that one day will be smudged and faded

whiteroseredrose · 31/01/2022 23:49

I'd feel the same, OP.

Our tastes change over time so I think it's a major error to do something irreversible.

It is very fashionable to get tattoos at the moment but no doubt that will change. But the fugly things will still be there.

Both of my DC know my thoughts on tattoos. Both are adults so I couldn't stop them but i would be very upset. It just looks like Sharpie scribble to me.

DiddyHeck · 31/01/2022 23:49

YANBU OP although your honesty will obviously get some people's backs up. My friend's daughter is the same age and has covered herself in tattoos over the last 4 years. She has mental health problems and my friend is worried they are connected. I have to admit I agree that they probably are. I think she'll really start to regret them soon.

Ellowyn · 31/01/2022 23:49

@OmgIThinkILikeYou

At 26 I don't really think it's any of your business what she does with her body. You don't have to like them but whether it's 'too far' is not for you to decide.

What an absolutely ridiculous comment. A mother has every right to be disappointed in something her child does - no matter their age. You would only have a valid point if the OP wrote 'I am not allowing my 26 yr old daughter to have tattoos' or 'I am forcing my 26 yr old daughter to remove her all tattoos'.

It's not your business what someone likes or dislikes.

WorstXmasEver · 31/01/2022 23:50

The vast majority of tattoos are awful.

saraclara · 31/01/2022 23:50

They're fully grown adults, you might want to try being one too!

Oh give over.

My niece is a tattoo artist. She's amazingly good and has full limb tattooos herself.

But in general I dislike tattoos, and I really wouldn't want my DDs to have massive ones. While I fully recognise that they are adults and can do whatever they like, their bodies are still perfect as they are, to me. It's like when you look at your perfect baby's skin and don't want anything to mark it.
I treat them like the professional adults that they are, but inside I want their skin to stay as nature intended. They're my babies (they just don't realise it!)

ufucoffee · 31/01/2022 23:51

I hate them too and I'd hate it if my children had lots of them. Nothing you can do though.

funnyasduck · 31/01/2022 23:51

Poor you. I hate them too and in your position I would be devastated. I’m amazed that many posters have so little empathy. All this
‘ it’s nothing to do with you’ might be true but no caring parent can help be upset when they think their child is making poor choices.

WindyState · 31/01/2022 23:52

She's an adult.

Sure, you don't have to like tattoos but being devastated about it is ridiculously over the top.

Ellowyn · 31/01/2022 23:52

It is my opinion that tattoos make someone look common/trashy. The more skin covered the uglier it looks.

This is my opinion and it is no one else business to tell me what I should like.

PoshPyjamas · 31/01/2022 23:52

Extreme tattoos look more like self harm than self expression to me.

Oddbobbyboo · 31/01/2022 23:53

My daughter is currently doing this to herself too…. I honestly believe it is a result of the hatred and disappointment she feels towards her father. We had a difficult divorce and despite whatever she did as a young girl/woman he always found a fault. She knew that he would hate her having a tattoo so she now has three! But she’s still my beautiful girl who now feels somewhat liberated xx Your daughter is 26, enjoy her… life is to short to be disappointed x

WindyState · 31/01/2022 23:53

@funnyasduck

Poor you. I hate them too and in your position I would be devastated. I’m amazed that many posters have so little empathy. All this ‘ it’s nothing to do with you’ might be true but no caring parent can help be upset when they think their child is making poor choices.

A tattoo (with a few drunken exception) is not a poor choice.

If it makes the person getting the tattoo happy it's the exact opposite of that.

wanttomarryamillionaire · 31/01/2022 23:54

@StellaGibs

I find it so very weird to actually cry or be 'devastated' about a tattoo. I also find it weird that parents think it's OK to comment on their children's weight, choice of haircut/colour, whether they have a beard or not etc too.

They're fully grown adults, you might want to try being one too!

Exactly this

DearlyBeloathed · 31/01/2022 23:54

It is my opinion that tattoos make someone look common

Ahh, it's not a tattoo thread without this stupid as fuck comment .

Yaya26 · 31/01/2022 23:55

YANBU I don't dislike all tattoos but hate when people go overboard. IMO no matter how good/expensive the artwork too much is just awful. My daughter is only 8 but I imagine Ill be a bitch mother from hell too if she decides to cover herself in them.

MrsBaublesDylan · 31/01/2022 23:55

It's just skin - it doesn't matter in the long run.

Lots of people don't like tattoos and that's fine, they can choose what they like for their own body. And vice versa.

I would far rather my children felt supported to make their own decisions in life. Feeling respected by your parent is a real confidence builder.

blueshoes · 31/01/2022 23:56

I agree with you, OP. I would be disappointed as a parent. I would also wonder about her mental health.

Secondtimemama32 · 31/01/2022 23:56

@Choclover27

I would feel the same. Sorry op - I hope youre okay.

Kelly7889 · 31/01/2022 23:58

They look fucking horrible, but it's just fashion. Young girls I work with get their BF's name tattooed on their midriff or back then lasered off when they split up. Neck and leg tattoos etc. They are just following the crowd. Nothing you can do unfortunately. Take comfort from the fact that tattoos aren't permanent any more.

Wreath21 · 31/01/2022 23:58

Yep, you need to keep your opinion to yourself and basically get over it. Her body does not belong to you and your opinion of her tattoos is of no importance to anyone but you.

Secondtimemama32 · 31/01/2022 23:58

@blueshoes

I agree with you, OP. I would be disappointed as a parent. I would also wonder about her mental health.

This. People with face tattoos have properly lost it IMO.

Nandakanda · 31/01/2022 23:59

@DearlyBeloathed

It is my opinion that tattoos make someone look common

Ahh, it's not a tattoo thread without this stupid as fuck comment .

But true.

blyn72 · 31/01/2022 23:59

I don't blame you, Choc, I'd feel the same. I think tattoos are vile and chavvy. However there is nothing you can do, she is a grown woman and it's up to her what she does with her own body. Don't let it alienate you from your daughter (I'm sure you won't).

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