Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

If someone has an 18 year daughter who's going off the rails, dropping out of college, has a shifty boyfriend, goes missing for days, etc., is told 'it's none of your business, she's an adult' !!

Absolutely true - bonkers and more like 'I don't give a shit now they are 18'

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

You forgot having a spa day

@AngelinaFibres

Everyone has their thermostat at 18° and wears a small cardigan if they feel cold and only had one light on in their entire house. Their central heating is never actually on. Those same people are stressing about fuel prices .Why?

I’ve never seen this but it’s true for me as I never put the thermostat above 18 because I can’t afford a ridiculously high gas bill! The odd hot flush gives me a bit of a heat boost anyway!

@WaningMoon

People have very strange marriages on MN, almost like business transactions than close relationships, if spouses treat each other with kindness then you are co dependent or a princess /man child .

Yes and you must absolutely never pool your finances. You must have an escape fund that your spouse must never know about. You must be allowed to spend any inheritance only on yourself. The other person in your relationship is supposed to be the most important person you know but you must behave as I your relationship is always 5 minutes away from ending and the Co parent of your child is about to financially shaft you.

If you DH/DP is lazy, it is 100% all your fault.

Baby weight falls off within 30 seconds of child birth.

Throwing money at it and outsourcing the problem is the best solution, night nurse, nanny, cleaner etc.

Definitions of poverty and wealth vary tremendously.

Average doesn't exist - everything is fabulous or f***

Women must never take their husband’s surname when getting married.

You have to put at least £1000 a month into savings or a pension even if you only earn min wage

@DillonPanthersTexas

Never met men haters in real life until I came on Mumsnet AIBU.

I'm a bloke and I was a bit taken back at some of the vitriol on here. There is plenty of valid criticism that can be laid at the feet of many men but reading constant blanket 'why do men do x' type of posts with dozens of other posters wading in behind in support is a bit depressing.

Agreed. I don't know anyone who hates men the way they're hated on here. I've had some right abuse from posters assuming I'm a man because I have a male username. I have sons and brothers and I tend to wade in in defence of some of the shit that gets hurled at men on this site to even up the argument a bit. It doesn't often go down well, but I'm not here to make friends

@Huntswomanonthemove

Only on MN virtually every person you know refuses to have a Health Visitor.

Only on MN PIL are all toxic, especially MILs who are controlling and should immediately be NC.

On MN everyone makes a chicken last all week, for all lunches and evening meals.

On MN If your DH snores you should never complain because you're lucky to have a DH, as someone's DH died.

On MN if you want a dog, you should get a retired greyhound.

I’ve never seen any of these except when referenced as apparent MN cliches….

AngelinaFibres

No one ever shouts at their children, husband.

But in any other disagreement, the person who is arguing with the MNetter never "raises their voice" or "gets a bit heated".
They always "scream".
Sometimes they "literally scream".

Also, on MN "literally" nearly always means "figuratively".

Gently - why does everything have to be said 'gently'? I even saw an AIBU where a response started with "I voted YABU (gently)...". and another where an OP asked "can I ask gently if she could be pregnant?" when an OP was worried about her teenage daughter - it is so patronising.

And just open the sodding door if someone knocks on it - it's what people do.

And the draft messages written by posters to send to the friend, sibling, neighbour, colleague etc - most of them would make you look completely mad.

This can't be right........some of the observations on here are making AIBU look like the saner side of Mumsnet.

@OnceuponaRainbow18

A lady letting the builder heat up his lunch in her Aga

That's me!

Otherwise, I would say that only on MN are people very often extremely obnoxious.. They are also good at suggesting obnoxious/rude messages if someone else writes a post asking how to deal with a CF. I have a strong suspicion that they are not in the slightest bit rude in real life and would just make excuses, then quietly drop the CF.

A wedding invitation landing on the door mat is worse than a jury summons.

Child-free weddings are the height of selfishness and should be declined out of hand.

En-suites are grim because it means there is a toilet in a room that is next to your bedroom.

You will need 2 sets of clean pyjamas a day; one that you will change into when you come home and one for sleeping in. You cannot sleep in the same set twice. But also: people who wear pyjamas at any time other than for sleeping are slovenly.

The names of your second and subsequent children must sound pleasing when paired with the names of your first child. Including middle names.

KurtWilde - keep wading in. Don't let the nut jobs skew the debate.

HUGE salads and LOADS of veg
Teen boys growing like weeds
Nobody is above a size 10 unless they’re a 14 and ‘I’m sorry OP but a size 14 is overweight’
Everyone still ‘fancies the pants’ off their DH after 20+ years
Nobody gets into debt on credit cards, even at Christmas

@AngelinaFibres @WaningMoon yessss! Spot on! I do not understand the marriages described here that are based on deeeep financial mistrust as if that is standard.

You will need 2 sets of clean pyjamas a day; one that you will change into when you come home and one for sleeping in

Surely 3 sets? One for going to Tesco in 🙄

@DillonPanthersTexas

Never met men haters in real life until I came on Mumsnet AIBU.

I'm a bloke and I was a bit taken back at some of the vitriol on here. There is plenty of valid criticism that can be laid at the feet of many men but reading constant blanket 'why do men do x' type of posts with dozens of other posters wading in behind in support is a bit depressing.

What's even more depressing is that the criticism is necessary in the first place.

@Firebird83

Women must never take their husband’s surname when getting married.

I once posted on a thread about taking your (generic "your"), husband's surname and got absolutely piled on when I said that 20+ years after I'd divorced him I still had my married surname. It mattered not a jot that the reason I kept it was because I preferred it to my birth name which looks like a cat has walked over the keyboard and is very difficult to pronounce. Apparently I should have reverted back before the ink was dry on the Decree Absolute.

@StoneofDestiny

KurtWilde - keep wading in. Don't let the nut jobs skew the debate.

Oh I will

Being Wendied

That's happened to me as well. I didn't post about though because I knew I'd be told it was all my own fault because I am horrible. I've posted on other people's I'm being wendied' threads though

Everyone earns 100k a year plus 😂

If you're over 45 you've probably got dementia.