Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

@Westfacing

People fret about middle names, and initials in case they spell out mildly amusing words like PAL/CAT/DOG.

Every other mother is a Narc.

Oh my goodness yes to the initials thing! And it's practically impossible to post a name without someone chiming on about some pet or other called that. It is the pet who has a human name, not the other way round FGS!

That all husbands/partners are amazing cooks. Mine could burn hot water!

everything is one extreme or the other

1. you live in zone 1 or 2 , or perhaps 15 round trip to a shop not in a suburb
2. your kids are either Grade A or SEN no one has kids with 2 good subjects and average at most other stuff
3. you either have anorexia or your size 12/14 is actually 18 because vanity sizing, no one is a genuine 12-14
4. for you either 14C is bordering on roasting or 22C is too cold, you can't be comfortable at about 18-20C

5 you are either a firm remainer or brexiteer because no one thinks well the advantages and disadvantages both ways

1. either Boris is doing well with vaccines etc or the Labour party lose because not left wing enough, you can'y think that some tory policies are Ok and some labour policies are Ok and couldn't we just settle roughly in the centre

7, you either live happily on 20K or over a 100k but anything in between is just awful 8 all chickens either serve 2 people for 1 meal or a family of 4 for 3 meals

1. anyone who doesn't shower once or preferably twice daily and then wash towels sheets and pyjamas after a single use will smell worse than blue cheese after 2 hours in the sun

10. outing hobbies are golf cycling football and fishing as no one else's DH would do these things: a campanoligist at Salisbury cathedral might be outing 11. all 10 year olds are incapable of or are forbidden from walking 400 metres from school to home or popping to shops for milk or being left alone while you take a sibling to cubs as it's too dangerous but within weeks they are mature enough to catch two buses and walk a mile to secondary

Never met men haters in real life until I came on Mumsnet AIBU. (Do these people not have sons, fathers, uncles, brothers, grandfathers, male partners and make friends they actually like and respect?)

That you must be 'privileged' if you achieve anything.

Are people hate addicted to MN?

People either have no sex at all ever and haven't done so for years, or they are in their 80s and still have sex 12 times a week. The average couple are apparently DTD three times a week every week . Despite those people also being mostly bored with husband, not helped by husband, too stressed to think about sex, live with someone who has let themselves go, married to a drunk, angry with spouse.....or have a child with autism Adhd that means they get 9.5 seconds of sleep every 6 months

If someone has an 18 year daughter who's going off the rails, dropping out of college, has a shifty boyfriend, goes missing for days, etc., is told 'it's none of your business, she's an adult' !!

You struggle to manage on £110k. You can't possibly go back to work after wfh for so long.

@Westfacing

If someone has an 18 year daughter who's going off the rails, dropping out of college, has a shifty boyfriend, goes missing for days, etc., is told 'it's none of your business, she's an adult' !!

Oh yeh, this! Bet it's easy to type when you have a toddler

MN people live in a world where the wills of aged family members must be scrupulously fair and all assets equally divided between all siblings, grandchildren etc etc .....

you must attend the expensive hen party

Nah. The prevailing opinion on MN as far as I can see is that hen parties are an annoyance and expensive hen parties must not be tolerated.

Salaries of £100k+ a year seem very commonplace on MN. I don't buy 90% of the posters who claim to be on such salaries.

The disdain towards those who drive 4x4s or even worse - have cars on finance. Nearly every poster claims to drive a 20 year old banger.

All have a super king size bed

And you absolutely must shower thrice a day or you are gross.

Never met men haters in real life until I came on Mumsnet AIBU.

I'm a bloke and I was a bit taken back at some of the vitriol on here. There is plenty of valid criticism that can be laid at the feet of many men but reading constant blanket 'why do men do x' type of posts with dozens of other posters wading in behind in support is a bit depressing.

Another one.. 16 year olds can’t be left home alone and leaving a teen under 16 home alone is neglect, you shouldn’t leave your children home alone until they are 18.

That older people should sell the house they worked for all their lives and buy a bungalow with minimum space as they don't have visitors or entertain are are taking up the space some 20 something feels entitled to.

That people should be able to live where they were born and not have to move to find jobs or affordable housing. (Yet the locals and their own parents all sell their houses to whoever wants them)

@TellySavalashairbrush

That all husbands/partners are amazing cooks. Mine could burn hot water!

Really? It looks more like they never cook at all.

@AngelinaFibres

People either have no sex at all ever and haven't done so for years, or they are in their 80s and still have sex 12 times a week. The average couple are apparently DTD three times a week every week . Despite those people also being mostly bored with husband, not helped by husband, too stressed to think about sex, live with someone who has let themselves go, married to a drunk, angry with spouse.....or have a child with autism Adhd that means they get 9.5 seconds of sleep every 6 months

The being 80 and still having sex 12 times a week comment made me

Your house doesn't sell? It's cluttered. Even though there's barely any furniture in it, it's still cluttered.

Two words: toilet brush.

People have very strange marriages on MN, almost like business transactions than close relationships, if spouses treat each other with kindness then you are co dependent or a princess /man child .

Everyone has their thermostat at 18° and wears a small cardigan if they feel cold and only had one light on in their entire house. Their central heating is never actually on. Those same people are stressing about fuel prices .Why?

Cuba is the most wonderful holiday destination - ‘the Cuban people are so poor but they are completely content with their lot and always smiling” with no mention of Cuba’s appalling human rights record and the recently repressed protests etc.
However, mention going to Dubai or other countries with poor human rights and you’re the spawn of the devil….

I'm a bloke and I was a bit taken back at some of the vitriol on here. There is plenty of valid criticism that can be laid at the feet of many men but reading constant blanket 'why do men do x' type of posts with dozens of other posters wading in behind in support is a bit depressing

Yes - I'm a mum with sons, great husband, great brothers and great male friends - and I'm in no way unusual in having that. .

If a young female family member suddenly seems to have more income than you think she should have, it's got to be onlyfans or sex work. That's the only possible explanation.

14C is bordering on roasting