Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

@seekinglondonlife

Yes *@HyphenCobra*, as someone whose baby nearly did die and I ended up in ICU it really isn't common, but everyone on MN required a 'crash section' and 'we are both lucky to be alive'.

If it's true of you, why are you so disbelieving of others?

Because I know statistically it isn't common at all. A tiny percentage of FT babies are in the life threatening category, but on MN it seems it's everyone.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou

Only doing your own washing and leaving teenage children and husband's to do their own.

Yeah I find this utterly weird. And not cooking teenagers after the age of about 14 because they should cook for themselves.

Whoops - cooking FOR teenagers!

@RandomCatGenerator

I liked it better when you were cooking the teenagers

Everyone is ‘blue lighted’ to A&E as opposed to being taken there by ambulance. I suppose it’s for added drahmz.

People with older children who don't work. IRL I only know one woman who didn't return to work once her children were at school, and that was because her ds had complex additional needs. And yet on here there are loads of people saying they are a SAHM even though their dc are all at school.

It's pretty much animal abuse to want to adopt a dog unless you have no children, no other animals, don't work, never leave the dog alone ever, live a house with its own parkland and have 56 years of experience in raising dogs with mental health issues.
If you want a puppy from a breeder you are evil incarnate and solely responsible for all puppy farms and should instead get a retired greyhound

People with older children who don't work. IRL I only know one woman who didn't return to work once her children were at school, and that was because her ds had complex additional needs. And yet on here there are loads of people saying they are a SAHM even though their dc are all at school

Where I live there are quite a lot of SAHMs. Off the top of my head I can think of at least a dozen friends/acquaintances who have high school age children (almost all NT teens) and don't work outside the home.

@Fizbosshoes do you live in SW London. When I lived there it was perfectly normal to be an affluent SAHM

@Grilledaubergines

That any male who gives a firm opinion on something is controlling.

The importance of the term is being lost through overuse. “My husband said he’d prefer broccoli to cauliflower for dinner”. “You have a controlling DH. Time to get your ducks in a row.”

Oh, not just controlling, also....

...lazy "Why can't he cook dinner?"

...financially inept. "Has he any idea the price of broccoli these days?"

...unsympathetic to your needs "Yuh - but you want cauliflower."

...unfaithful. "You can bet he's getting broccoli elsewhere."

...abusive "I don't know, but I just get the feeling this is about more than vegetables. Are you okay?"

Everyone on here has really severe periods with flooding

WalkingOnTheCracks That did make me smile although with no snorted/spat liquids, startled pet or DH, or babies woken, I'm afraid.
Still funny though

@SpaghettiArmsMurderer

Everyone on here has really severe periods with flooding

It might seem that way but nobody is going to post asking for advice about their completely normal manageable periods are they?

@Sparklingbrook agreed.

@Sparklingbrook true! But people seem to mention it a lot on random threads outside the context of asking for advice

[quote SpaghettiArmsMurderer]@Sparklingbrook true! But people seem to mention it a lot on random threads outside the context of asking for advice[/quote]
They would because if their periods were unremarkable then they wouldn't mention them presumably?

@Sparklingbrook I guess, but people seem to emphasise it like for example about bathroom bins, they don’t just need them for sanpro full stop but for sanpro because they flood.

I read this page from time to time and it always baffles me how every husband, wife etc. is called DP, DH, DW even when in abusive relationship. Do you really describe your aggressive partner “darling” in real life? I know it’s slang but it feels so fake and very mumsnet like…

Everyone has a lay down, or were laying down.

spaghetti I agree. If you do mention that your period is fairly uneventful then you are shot down.

[quote SpaghettiArmsMurderer]@Sparklingbrook I guess, but people seem to emphasise it like for example about bathroom bins, they don’t just need them for sanpro full stop but for sanpro because they flood.[/quote]
Oh well bathroom bin threads are quite bonkers whatever your period is like TBF.

I am one of the people that have heavy periods though, but I'll try not to mention it on here again.

@Wannakisstheteacher

I forgot the time I was called “obscene” when I said I did a load of washing a day with my 3 DC and a DH with a manual job which requires a clean set of uniform per day. Apparently it’s perfectly normal to just do 1 load per week.

Why can't he do his own washing and that of his children? Does this manchild treat you like this all of the time? LTB!!!!!

@Sparklingbrook I don’t think you should not mention it when relevant, just remarking how it seems to come up a lot. There’s a disproportionate number of posters on here with 3 DC as well but I don’t think they should pretend one of them doesn’t exist

@SpaghettiArmsMurderer

Everyone on here has really severe periods with flooding

Well it's common around the age of 50.

It was good to know I wasn't the only one.