Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

Almost all established tourist destinations are actually uninteresting, overrated and dirty especially Paris.

If you hover your body is at a stupid angle and your bladder doesn’t fully empty. I can’t believe people don’t poo at work! If I get the urge and the surge I go do it.

@Janetino52

If you hover your body is at a stupid angle and your bladder doesn’t fully empty. I can’t believe people don’t poo at work! If I get the urge and the surge I go do it.

I've never had a problem. Maybe I'm just pro at hovering

I occassionally hover (Beach toilets are usually particularly disgusting) however I don't wee on the floor or the seat.
Our work toilets are ok. There are ladies and gents toilets - apparently the gents toilets are gross, but the Ladies are fine. I'm pretty sure there's only about 4 women regularly in the building anyway compared to 20+ men

I've put yabu because there's a flaw in admitting to having no friends IRL - who would you be admitting it to?

People who genuinely say the word 'golly' at something that has surprised them. As seen on a thread I have open on another tab.

No I'll go and read the rest of the thread

On a slightly different tangent, I see a lot of hatred and resentment on here for people who live rurally. Some posts are littered with cattiness and bile, others are just full of disbelief. Why? Why is it so hard to believe some people live rurally? People DO you know!

Are people jealous or something? I don't see the same hate and vitriol, and general mocking, aimed at people who live in towns and cities.

Yeah quite a number of people on mumsnet live rurally. What's so odd or hard to believe about this?

I do understand the jealousy. I used to live in a town, and longed to live in a little rural village surrounded by fields, meadows, and woodlands, with a canal and a river just a short walk away, but I never resented people who did live in that sort of place.

Now I live in this sort of place, after upping sticks when the kids left home almost a decade ago, I get snarky, barbed remarks from people who still live in the town about how they would HATE to live out here. They just have to tell me when they see me, how they don't envy ME living out in the sticks...

Fine. Don't come out here then The countryside/rural areas will cope without you here. I love it and would NEVER go back to the town.

The jealousy is strong from a few people I know. I sense some jealousy on here too.

@KellyABC

Almost all established tourist destinations are actually uninteresting, overrated and dirty especially Paris.

Reminds me of an old verse by Anthony Brode:

Paris is simply disgusting;
Nobodys said it before, But the Metro is rusting, The Louvre needs dusting, The women are plain and Im sick of the Seine and
It smells like a drain and
In fact I find Paris a bore.

(Not my own view; I think Paris is lovely!)

Everyone is the victim of gaslighting (whatever that means).

Every MNetter has at least one room painted in Farrow & Ball's Stiffkey blue.

I have been on MN for so long, I found myself wanting a wall of Stiffkey blue last week.

On MN people can just...
Change jobs at will.
Change their working hours at will.
Move house at will.
Pack in their job and retrain at will.
Their DH can just finish work when he pleases to do the school run.
Because of course, everyone has a sympathetic and understanding boss, and naturally everyone has a bottomless pot of money.

Well I'm a MN cliche in one thing at least....I really do hate Paris. It's boring, dirty and it does smell, which is to be expected when every other wall is used as a urinal.

Men never end a relationship unless there is an OW around the corner. It seems inconceivable on MN that a bloke can finish things because he has been unhappy for sometime.

[quote RainbowBriteUk]@Simonjt It's disgusting. I wish the media would pick up on what a horrible and transphobic place it is.[/quote]
I think you are ignorant and femphobic, @RainbowBriteUk . There is no transphobia on this site, let alone on the Feminist board. Whenever their are actual transphobic comments when they're reported they are removed.

Women saying that a man can never change sex, and that they deserve to have safe spaces based on SEX, not 'identity' is not transphobic, it is plain safeguarding. Why do you think our foresisters fought so hard for decades for safeguarding for women and safe spaces? Just for a person with a penis to 'say' they are a woman, and gain access? Shit that's open to abuse isn't it? And as has been proven by the assaults on women in changerooms, prisons and spas. Look up the WiSpa incident.

Muslim women have a right to be in a spa without seeing male genitals. This is common sense.

Domestic violence and rape survivors have a right to be in a spa without seeing male genitals. This is common sense.

You are naive and deeply misinformed and are harming women and girls. Please wake up.

@DillonPanthersTexas

Men never end a relationship unless there is an OW around the corner. It seems inconceivable on MN that a bloke can finish things because he has been unhappy for sometime.

I have to say, this does usually seem to be the case in my world too. Women seem far more likely than men to end things without another person to go to. My experience is that men are not generally very good at being alone.

There are exceptions, of course.

Woodburners and open fires are in fact the fires of hell. I have never met anyone in RL (I live semi-rurally) that doesn't love a fire or try to bagsy the table nearest to one in the pub.

Everyone's family lives 5 hours away. Always 5 hours. Despite the fact that the majority of MNers live on a tiny island that is 300 miles across at its widest.

Everyone's child scores a 'clean sweep' 🤮 of 8s and 9s at GCSE, A*s at A Level and is going on to OXBRIDGE or DURHAM because quite frankly, anywhere else is unacceptable and deeply shameful.

Everyone seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to buy their teenagers a brand new car for their 17th birthday.

Everyone has pension post worth 1M+ because they 'worked hard' and were clever. Nothing to do with being fortunate to have gold plated final salary pensions / £100k+ salaries from the age of 25 / a generous inheritance. No. Just a bit of financial savviness and forward planning.

Oh and parents that think it's acceptable to put an iPad in front of a six month old in a restaurant just want a bit of 'me time' and a 'hot meal' and the child probably has SN anyway so HOW DARE you judge their lazy parenting?

I mean, how on Earth did we cope before iPads and phones?

Look no further for a girl's name... it must be Otillie or Juliet.

@HelloFrostyMorning

On a slightly different tangent, I see a lot of hatred and resentment on here for people who live rurally. Some posts are littered with cattiness and bile, others are just full of disbelief. Why? Why is it so hard to believe some people live rurally? People DO you know!

Are people jealous or something? I don't see the same hate and vitriol, and general mocking, aimed at people who live in towns and cities.

Yeah quite a number of people on mumsnet live rurally. What's so odd or hard to believe about this?

I do understand the jealousy. I used to live in a town, and longed to live in a little rural village surrounded by fields, meadows, and woodlands, with a canal and a river just a short walk away, but I never resented people who did live in that sort of place.

Now I live in this sort of place, after upping sticks when the kids left home almost a decade ago, I get snarky, barbed remarks from people who still live in the town about how they would HATE to live out here. They just have to tell me when they see me, how they don't envy ME living out in the sticks...

Fine. Don't come out here then The countryside/rural areas will cope without you here. I love it and would NEVER go back to the town.

The jealousy is strong from a few people I know. I sense some jealousy on here too.

I think it's more to do with the fact that those who love rurally feel the need to mention it in their post, even if it's not relevant. There is an air of smugness sometimes which doesn't go down well.

Yeah quite a number of people on mumsnet live rurally. What's so odd or hard to believe about this?

It seems to be every other poster on here but in reality it’s only 17% of people. And no I’m not jealous- it sounds like a massive pain in the arse to have no public transport, amenities and to be constantly stuck behind cyclists whenever you try to go anywhere…

I really don't get the Ottilie love. Especially because people seem to pronounce it 'Ottuhly'. It's not an English name and doesn't follow English pronunciation patterns.

It just reminds me of otters, ponds and slime.

Everyone on Mumsnet has a dog with perfect recall. I wish you'd all come and live near me!

If anyone even hints that they might need to rehome their pet, they are selfish and, indeed, evil. Even if the person faces insurmountable difficulties and is genuinely struggling with their decision, they should keep said pet. After all, you wouldn't so blithely give away your CHILD ... well, unless it was a choice between the child and the pet.

It seems to be every other poster on here but in reality it’s only 17% of people.

I think MN is representative of quite a small section of society. I've noticed the living rurally thing. Similarly you could be forgiven, from reading MN, for thinking that the average salary in the UK was about 90k, the average height for a 14 year old boy was 6'2", the average dress size for a woman was 8 , the average chicken makes 45 meals and everybody showered and washed their bedding 3 times a day.

@DrSbaitso I work as a specialist in relationships - the majority of men (99.9%) never leave unless they have had a replacement lined up and in the bag for at least 6-12 months before formally exciting a relationship.