Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

That children should run about, screaming in restaurants & coffee shops as it's their right of freedom of expression.

@wellstopdoingitthen

That children should run about, screaming in restaurants & coffee shops as it's their right of freedom of expression.

And if they're sat quietly watching something on a tablet that's wrong too.

Everyone has Health Anxiety!!!

I swear, this is not something I had even come across in my 40+ years on this earth until I came on MN. The pandemic has just made it worse.

@wellstopdoingitthen

That children should run about, screaming in restaurants & coffee shops as it's their right of freedom of expression.

Yeah, if you don't want to see badly behaved kids then you should just lock yourself in your house. It is a kid's world out there!

'The Ick'

@danadas

Everyone has a hobby that is so unique it cannot possibly be identified because otherwsie we will immediately know who you are due to said uniqueness of activity.

This is so true and makes me laugh so much!

Hovering. I'd always wondered how you could get a certain type of wee mess in a ladies' room, until I came to MN and discovered there's an entire cohort of women out there who are too scared to use public toilets properly and instead need to "hover" over them.

A cleaner is the answer to all your problems, you definitely can afford one despite your protestations …. but, by the way, you must pay them at least what you earn, make them tea, pre-tidy the house to an inch of its life and pay a large bonus at Christmas, Easter and on their dog’s birthday or it’s akin to slavery.

@DrSbaitso

Hovering. I'd always wondered how you could get a certain type of wee mess in a ladies' room, until I came to MN and discovered there's an entire cohort of women out there who are too scared to use public toilets properly and instead need to "hover" over them.

Ugh, don't they wipe??

I actually have to hover over most toilets, most days. Sometimes I can sit but it's rare. I don't piss everywhere though

@guardiansofthegalaxychocs

A cleaner is the answer to all your problems, you definitely can afford one despite your protestations …. but, by the way, you must pay them at least what you earn, make them tea, pre-tidy the house to an inch of its life and pay a large bonus at Christmas, Easter and on their dog’s birthday or it’s akin to slavery.

But if any item goes missing in your house, the cleaner must have nicked it. And if your cleaners are so experienced and efficient that they take less time cleaning your mess house, then you have to dock their pay. Oh, and make sure you get them a Velvetiser for xmas, because they keep using yours.

@DrSbaitso

Hovering. I'd always wondered how you could get a certain type of wee mess in a ladies' room, until I came to MN and discovered there's an entire cohort of women out there who are too scared to use public toilets properly and instead need to "hover" over them.

I never hover, and have also never had a red ring of various infection around the areas on my thighs/buttocks where I sit on loo seat.

@XenoBitch true! Basically if you’re a cleaner, you’re in the wrong and if you’re a woman having your house cleaned, you’re in the wrong and if you’re a woman with a dirty house you are also in the wrong!

Women, if in doubt, you are in the wrong.

@Wearegoingtoneedabiggerboat

My MIL refuses to lock her blind, deaf arthritic 17 year old Jack Russell in the coal shed when I bring my PFB 17 year old son round to visit. I have told her it’s not safe. Mumsnet answers. Your MIL is toxic and cannot be trusted to keep your children safe go NC and LTB husband for not agreeing with you. I have just acquired a dog from a man who came to my door, it looks like a cross breed between a staffy, American pit bull, and a tiger of some sort. MIL has called me out on this as she thinks it’s irresponsible to have this dog around my week old baby. Mumsnet answer. Your MIL is toxic go NC she’s had her time being a parent you know what’s best for your children. These type of dogs are great with kids, mine was as soft as a brush and only once mistook the post man’s leg for his toy.

They're called Nanny Dogs y'know. Every thread about kids being killed by big staffy type breeds will have a poster say this. Soft as butter is another.

Yes, disabled people are a made up thing for Mumsnet.

And having 3 sets of twins who all have SEN.

@BobbyeinArkansas

People whose children are disabled. Or people who are themselves disabled.

Are you sure you don't want to reconsider that answer?

@BobbyeinArkansas

People whose children are disabled. Or people who are themselves disabled.

You don't know any disabled people outside of Mumsnet?

Or did I misunderstand you?

@BobbyeinArkansas

People whose children are disabled. Or people who are themselves disabled.

Jesus Christ. Do you live in a shoe box? Disability doesn't exist outside Mumsnet?

@BobbyeinArkansas

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

You think disabled people don't exist outside of mumsnet?

My son really was nearly 6 foot tall at 14 hrs now an adult and 6' 5. I also really like my daughter-in-law.

Every single local school is full of drug dealing psychopaths so please validate my wish to go private (though why you want the approval of complete strangers on a message board ihave no idea)

Who has the bloody time to bleach skirting boards! Do people actually do that shit?

If you once didn't have the spare cash (£3) to hand to pay the Wheely Bin Cleaner, you need to get over yourself and realise you are far too poor for such luxuries and who do you actually think you are anyway!