Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

can't believe you had lentil soup, it's so carby etc etc

😭😭

Sorry if this has been mentioned, but the one I always see on here is that, if one parent is doing it all either because the other parent is too lazy or just just because that's how it's fallen and no one is sure how to change it... The Primary parent should just bugger off to a spa weekend with no build up because apparently that will solve everything.

Spitting tea out involuntarily.
Have never done it myself or known anyone in real life do it.

@NuffSaidSam
My DH does the cleaning 😁

If you don't have joint bank accounts you are "not properly married" and not a real couple.

@Norgie

All men should be thoroughly vetted, including their entire history from birth, a complete DBS and thorough police checks done before you even consider having kids with him.

I thought that was before you went on a first date...

The number of adults with diagnosed conditions.

When I first joined mn, everyone had depression or anxiety.

Then everyone had autism.

Now everyone has adhd.

Wonder what the next thing will be.

@Fivebyfive2

Sorry if this has been mentioned, but the one I always see on here is that, if one parent is doing it all either because the other parent is too lazy or just just because that's how it's fallen and no one is sure how to change it... The Primary parent should just bugger off to a spa weekend with no build up because apparently that will solve everything.

I have never seen anyone suggest a spa weekend/day for this, but it always gets mentioned on these threads.

'I live in the middle of nowhere and don't drive'

People who get signed off sick at the drop of a hat. Claiming to have workplace stress, anxiety, bullying or all 3.

Never met anyone in RL who can afford this. Ever.

@KurtWilde

If you get a new puppy, you should sleep downstairs next to its bed for at least the first 6 weeks if not longer. Never heard of that only on MN. Never done it either. Don't know anyone who has apart from on here!

And then people wonder why their dogs have separation anxiety

This ^

If a women gets an inheritance, for example, she must never mention it to her DH. It's her money and DH never needs to know.
If a man gets an inheritance and doesn't immediately put it in the family pot that his wife has access to, then that's financial abuse.

The only acceptable dog is a retired greyhound.
Want a very small dog? Get a greyhound.
Want a really fluffy dog? How about a greyhound?
Want a cat? Nope, must be a greyhound.

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

Tbf both these things have infinitely improved my life

@BoodleBug51

People who get signed off sick at the drop of a hat. Claiming to have workplace stress, anxiety, bullying or all 3.

Never met anyone in RL who can afford this. Ever.

Some places have good sick pay. In my job I'd get 6 months full pay before it dropped to half pay if I was on long term sick.

If you start therapy or counselling and don't immediately gel with your therapist then you need to get a new one, pronto.

In Mumsnet Land people seem to posses a weird design of toilet that literally blasts 'poo particles' into the air like Krakatoa exploding. If you keep your toothbrush in the same room you might as well brush your teeth with turds because the 'poo particles' get everywhere, EVERYWHERE.

People have a “slow” metabolism and only eat an apple a day but weigh 18 stone once they have kids/over 30/over 40/take antidepressants/any medication/perimenopause/menopause/pregnancy ad finitum : no carbs is the only answer to this problem

Someone having a little moan about DH and they are flooded with messages to ‘LTB’

I’m quite sure no one in real life would be so dramatic

On the toilets topic - the one that startled me the most was the thread where several posters were horrified by anyone daring to poo in any toilet but their own. It started IIRC with someone complaining about any visitor pooing in their host's toilet; but moved on rapidly to complaints about people at work daring to poo in the workplace toilet, and someone saying that if you can't hold it in till you get home, you should go off sick. Yes, I'm sure that the government would be delighted to provide long-term sickness benefits to anyone who isn't ideally 'regular'....

Skiinginheaven
Totally agree with your post I was thinking the same

The never ending victim mentality, l love being a woman, l am a warrior not a victim.

Posters who are summerborn did just fine at school and/or their summerborn child is top of the class.

Using parents for childcare. I only know one person who does this.

Parents in the real world work/ don't live nearby/ definitely don't want to do kids all over again/ are probably not up to the task of chasing kids all around anymore.

I want to lose weight

Join park run

There is not one near me

Just do couch to 5k then

I can't afford trainers

You don't need brand new gear, pick up a pair down the charity shop

I live miles away from any town

Get some on eBay

I don't have a bank account

Well just go for a walk then

I don't want to go on my own

Go with a friend

I don't have any friends

Just walk around the garden

I live in a flat

Do some living room exercises

I have no legs

@3scape

Using parents for childcare. I only know one person who does this. Parents in the real world work/ don't live nearby/ definitely don't want to do kids all over again/ are probably not up to the task of chasing kids all around anymore.

See total opposite to this. All my friends and work colleagues actually use parents or grandparents for childcare