Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

You must speak gently to someone. If you have it doesn't matter if you are totally in the wrong.

Lots of people whose house budget is £750,000

Plenty who describe people who private rent as ‘tenants’ in such away as to make you feel like a second class citizen regardless of knowing what you rent or where or why —

A million times over this one ! X

Using Baylis and Harding hand soap is akin to washing your hands in raw sewage.

@DoucheCanoe

If it doesn't happen in England many users seem oblivious.

I was once told that my Scottish qualification was "made up". Also that our school system is "confusing" because we use Primary/Secondary instead of Year X.

This.

@TheKeatingFive

At least one parent to never drink in the house so that they could drive to A&E if necessary (quite what they think people without cars do I don't know).

Banishing friends and family from seeing your newborn for months. A list of demands in place before anyone can see/touch them. I'm in Ireland and this would never fly.

It doesn’t in England either. Absolutely bonkers.

Using Baylis and Harding hand soap is akin to washing your hands in raw sewage

😂

People giving a shit about covid.

Everyone I know in real life is just getting on with it.

The answer is always LTB, go NC or get a cleaner… no matter what the problem

No Husband of a mumsnetter watches porn. Not their Malcolm, oh no.

Malcolm finds it degrading to women, and has agreed watching it is a marriage deal breaker.

Malcolm actually has a quick wank everyday whilst watching xhamster on his phone in the toilet, but pretends he's having a poo.

@Stellaris22

Only on MN that your dog is 'out of control' if it dares to so much as sniff another dog.

The same, but substitute child for dog.

@TheSnowyOwl

That no matter what has happened to you and you have done, you are almost always completely in the wrong and a terrible person. In your back garden and a drone falls out of the sky and hits you? Should have been paying attention and shouldn’t rub it in everyone’s faces that you live somewhere with a big enough garden that you can fit in it.

The last line of this made me laugh alot!

The answer to everything seems to be:

LTB
Call the police
Get counselling.

Most of the time, this advice is useless.

Some people cannot leave as they have nowhere to go and no access to money.
The police don't care that your OH and you had a barney. Not every argument means a man is an abuser or narcissist.

Counselling costs money and absolutely can make things a whole lot worse.

@StoneofDestiny

I'm a bloke and I was a bit taken back at some of the vitriol on here. There is plenty of valid criticism that can be laid at the feet of many men but reading constant blanket 'why do men do x' type of posts with dozens of other posters wading in behind in support is a bit depressing

Yes - I'm a mum with sons, great husband, great brothers and great male friends - and I'm in no way unusual in having that. .

Agree with this!

Everyone gives their kids at least 50k house deposit.
And you must allow your adult kids who still live at home, to use your home like a knocking shop and you must not take any of their money for their keep.
Unless you hoof them out on their 18th birthday of course.

The whole family must share a bedroom so that step children who visit once a month have their own bedroom, as well as their own bedroom in another house too.

Oh yes, the 'renting is money down the drain' and the idea that a tenant (I don't mind 'tenant', I believe it literally means 'holder', so not far from 'leadeholder' or similar - what I really hate is 'living in rented accommodation' or 'in rented') are flighty virtual nomads who can't possibly be assumed to look after their home or 'be invested in their local community'. Also the posters who see it as their God-given right to make money on a house sale but are completely outraged when the other party in their house sale has the same view.

And yes to the weird housemate-style financial relationships between married (!) couples with children (!), with lending each other money (and expecting it back) and elaborate listings of who pays for what. Sometimes, and sadly, this turns out to be financial abuse, but there are plenty where it appears to be a mutual decision.

The furious dislike of common expressions, whimsical words and features of 'regional' accents or dialects. Inevitably rooted in snobbery and/or class anxiety.

@Allmyarseandpeggymartin

People giving a shit about covid.

Everyone I know in real life is just getting on with it.

That's not true. There are several threads a week of people proclaiming how "over" covid they are and making dramatic statements about not caring etc. Lots of people agreeing with them too.

*'leaseholder'

Everyone can put money aside for the unexpected big bill.

Only non parents must use Parent and child parking spaces because their needs are always more important than parents, who can easily park at the far end of the car park.

And I don't even drive (which, of course, in itself should qualify for instant death in MN world )

Never met men haters in real life until I came on Mumsnet AIBU. (Do these people not have sons, fathers, uncles, brothers, grandfathers, male partners and make friends they actually like and respect?)

Of course they don't - ALL MEN ARE EVIL!

A cyclist held me up for 8hrs on a 5 mile journey and i needed a length of road as long as the M1 to over take.

Discussing which private school you should send your darling to even though you've damn well know since they were 4 months. It's just a brag disguised as a dilemma!