Things that mostly only happen on mumsnet

[Imyourvenus]

Heres mine;

You must love MIL even if she is a bitch toad from hell

You must never say anything negative about anyone on benefits

Admitting to having no friends

Every 3rd person is NC with their family

Having a nanny

I’m sure I have more

@KKslidoff

A cleaner and leaving your husband are the solution to all of life's problems.

Hahahaha - it's also sort of true as well.

Hating weddings! I bloody love a wedding!

All men should be thoroughly vetted, including their entire history from birth, a complete DBS and thorough police checks done before you even consider having kids with him.

@Georgyporky

"Gentle hands" is the only rebuke or punishment for attacking sibling/pet/parent.

And "listening ears" and "indoor voice". Of course ears are for listening, just say "listen to me", and no its not OK for your child to scream and shout the whole time they are outside!

2 glasses of wine makes you an alcoholic.

A chicken must feed a family of 6 for a week both lunch and tea.

Any issue with a dog means it requires to be put to sleep immediately.

Children and husbands get disgustingly sweaty when they sleep.

• use a lower tog
• turn the heating down
• open the window / buy fan

Everyone is either on benefits or earning in the 6 figures.

Obsession with trans people. Nobody cares in real life.

LTB is shouted for everything. No consideration that even if this were correct, many women can't leave relationships for financial, emotional, practical or other reasons.

Everyone has a husband/partner/someone to rely on

Anyone can get a well paid job AND childcare

Most people are "on the spectrum" (no they are just pricks imho)

Screaming, yes, actual screaming, at other people, in supermarkets.

Haven’t read the whole thread, has anyone mentioned their partners who are slightly unwell wearing the ‘dressing gown of doom’?

Judgemental friends/family/strangers tut-tutting if you breastfeed in public. I’ve fed three children and never once had so much as a sideways glance.

@GreenWheat

The number of people with "social anxiety" is astounding.

Yes it's well and truly replaced 'shyness' or feeling a bit anxious about something.

@NuffSaidSam, both have gone a long way towards improving my life

That if someone is a total cunt and acts completely unreasonably to you then you should just let them because "you don't know if they are having a bad day" or might have mental health problems.

Unless the wrongdoer is a man in which case he's always wrong, end of.

That fruit is evil, just sugar, and you are a terrible parent to give it to your toddlers. Will ruin their teeth and cause childhood obesity don't you know? But if your adolescent children turn their noses up at their balanced meals and guzzle three magnum ice creams in a row included those intended due other family members you can't say anything because they are entitled to have what they fancy and you should never demonise their food choices and certainly never describe such food as "treats" as it will cause eating disorders and other forms of mental distress.

That the gender pay gap is down to societal forces and women are just as capable of having great careers if the men didn't block them.

But being a mother is special and society should honour the mother's biological instinct to raise her children and desire to stop or decrease paid work

Hiding money from your husband is normal and encouraged, hiding money from your wife is serious abuse.

Life admin is somehow challenging and takes hours to complete, dental appointments and childrens haircuts seem to be the trickiest, as is car insurance.

Approving of verbally abusing children who aren’t perfectly behaved and polite 100% of the time.

Abandoning your children when they reach 28.

Crying and shaking.

Pretending you have/are having twins.

People who are working class are essentially subhuman.

Doing anything remotely fun over the age of 25 is immature and selfish.

Next door neighbours are possible drug dealers.

It's completely irresponsible for anyone who has a child to get a bit drunk, but at the same time everyone on MN drinks at least a bottle of wine every night.

If your friend pisses you off, just block them on everything. Find new friends.
Any child over 18 needs to leave home. Why haven’t they?
Therapy is the solution to everything.

Your wains all sleep in double beds or co-sleep until they’re 12 (no in between).

SAHMs, I only know one among my peers.

You can never rehome your dog. You have failed and it is your fault.

There are always red flags about your new boyfriend.

You will have £80,000 in savings which you do not want to tell this boyfriend about.

If you get a new puppy, you should sleep downstairs next to its bed for at least the first 6 weeks if not longer. Never heard of that only on MN. Never done it either. Don't know anyone who has apart from on here!

And then people wonder why their dogs have separation anxiety

@StoneofDestiny

What's even more depressing is that the criticism is necessary in the first place

Constructive criticism directed at the right people ok

Scattergun criticism blaming everybody of the same gender/sex/shape/colour not ok.

Exactly.

I'm just imagining the response a man would get if he posted "Why do women...(insert annoying behaviour)...?"

But if someone like me calls out generalisations about men on here, we get called a handmaiden or accused of NAMALTing.
Well you know what? Not all men ARE like that. Just as not all women are, and we'd be the first to confront a man who made such sweeping generalisations about women.

And jeeeze, the poor guys who fess up and admit that they're a man before they say something (presumably since they think it's only fair to do so) get absolutely slaughtered.

People batchcook and seem to hate all
wedding invites and generally doing anything fun.

@ChickenStripper

That there is internalised misogny on every post.

There seem to be posters now regularly patrolling Style and Beauty looking to scold people who use terms like 'frumpy', accusing them of internalised misogyny. One in particular comes across like a sixth former who has just discovered feminism and must tell everyone they are doing it wrong. Or breathlessly announces that women are acculturated to please. Who knew.