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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
EarringsandLipstick · 28/01/2022 13:48

@Gilda152

Fffffucks sake.

People on MN actively encouraging someone to allow someone carrying a proven deadly virus to mix with other people. OP you are right to have your doubts. It's shit but we've all missed important stuff and some people, like my dad, are dead from being in contact with covid positive people unknowingly. I don't say that to guilt trip I say that to underline that OF COURSE YOU DON'T KNOWINGLY GO OUT WHEN YOU'RE POSITIVE.

I'm very sorry about your dad.

The Omicron variant is not causing death or serious effects in the same way that previous variants did.

So it is different, and therefore can be treated as such. It's not to say it's a good idea to catch it, but it's not going to have the severe impact that was felt previously

MrsJaxTellerPlease · 28/01/2022 13:49

I'd let him go xx

DoctorMarten · 28/01/2022 13:49

@ittakes2

Do you not think we have all had dilemmas like this? Things our children or family could not do after testing positive? It’s not only a consideration you would be breaking the law - it’s a test of your moral compass. Being outside does not make it ok - it just reduces the risk, but a seven year old is less likely to socially distance or be careful with hand washing. Regardless of that mumsent says - there will be friends and family who will know you took out a covid positive child and done won’t care but others will think less of you.
Completely agree.
Butteryflakycrust83 · 28/01/2022 13:51

I think you need to think about what kind of lesson this teaches your son in the long term.

Keep testing - as soon as he's negative I would say go.

Badnightguaranteed · 28/01/2022 13:51

Some People are showing positive on lft after 14 days

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 28/01/2022 13:52

My brother caught Covid at a football match from his asymptomatic friend who tested positive the next day. Just because the event is outdoors, doesn't mean it can't be spread🤷‍♀️

Generally when anyone in our family is ill with something contagious, they don't go out in to the community spreading it around. I know your son's not ill but it's the same thing.

I feel bad for you OP being put in this situation of being the bad guy by your DH.
Also I'd be questioning his morals. To knowingly take an infected child to an event after the past two years is just mind blowing.

BabyInTheJungle · 28/01/2022 13:52

I'd also let him go. I'd reiterate about social distancing, mask wearing, hand gel etc but yes I'd let him go.

JustDanceAddict · 28/01/2022 13:52

Poor kid, I’d say do a test in the morning & see

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 28/01/2022 13:53

@DontWantTheRivalry

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

When I read a post saying I should take him I think to myself, “Of course I should, you’re right.”

And then I read a post explaining why I shouldn’t and I also think, “You’re completely right.”

I’ve just done the LFT and although it’s a lot lighter than it was this morning the second line is still definitely there.

Fingers crossed it's gone by tomorrow
BillyBarryBoo · 28/01/2022 13:53

I'd let him go. Poor kid.

Dutch1e · 28/01/2022 13:55

In my country we're now told that we may leave quarantine on the 8th day after symptoms appear and not to worry about tests as it's possible to still test positive 8 weeks later, while being no danger of transmission.

I'd let him go, kids have lost such huge percentages of their normal lives to lockdown and Covid, enough's enough.

PartyDilemma6 · 28/01/2022 13:55

I’d let him go and wish him a lovely time. Say the lft was negative.

kittensinthekitchen · 28/01/2022 13:55

It's no wonder the UK is overrun with covid. And stupid people.

He has a current covid infection. He should be isolating. It's the law, is it not?

Despite people like the local covid oh-im-a-rebel-me poster calling those who abide by the law "whiners", one child is no more special and no more hard done to than the millions of other people who have had to miss events because of covid. Some like to ask "would you stay home with a cold?", but think of it more as "would you stay home with chicken pox or measles?"

No, he should not be going.

Crazycatlady83 · 28/01/2022 13:56

I can't believe how many people are saying they would let him go - no wonder the cases are high!

I'm all for covid to go away. My family has been massively hit, both in terms of losing someone and financially through job losses etc. i love that restrictions are ending. The quicker restrictions end, the quicker my family can start to financially recover!

But surely it's madness for a c19+ to go out (presumably to a social event so not absolutely necessary) You are taking away the choice from someone not to be infected by you. Yes the government have said we might not isolate from March but we have had 2 years of socially responsible behaviour where it comes to illness - why should this not continue just cos you want to go out? You may infect someone vulnerable, you may infect a vulnerable child who hasn't had the vaccine. You may infect someone who has to isolate and therefore lose 10 days employment. You may infect someone who goes on to get long covid.

People go to these events knowing there is a risk but not knowing that they will definitely come into contact with some selfish twat who has decided their need to be out trumps everything

It's crap, of course it is! Everyone has given up so much. But it's just one of those things, life is disappointing and crap sometimes. Sometimes shit happens and you can't always get what you want.

TopTabby · 28/01/2022 13:56

I'd let him go 100%.

Stompythedinosaur · 28/01/2022 13:56

I cannot believe how many people are suggesting taking someone who is positive for covid out to a public event. Beyond selfish.

Obviously he shouldn't go if still testing positive.

Cantchooseaname · 28/01/2022 13:57

Hmmm… what would Boris do???

Aerielview · 28/01/2022 13:57

I'd let him go. He could wear a face mask, if it would ease your concerns. The past two years have been tough on kids. He deserves this special day out

Moonshine160 · 28/01/2022 13:57

Bless him.

As it’s an outdoor event and he’s said he’ll wear a mask I’d let him go.

mushroom3 · 28/01/2022 13:57

test late tonight and tomorrow before he is due to leave. As the one now was much fainter than this morning, he is probably at the end of hs asymptomatic infection

ConstanceL · 28/01/2022 13:57

At this point I would just let him go, tell him to wear a mask all day and try and keep his distance from people as much as he can!

Rainbowdrops2021 · 28/01/2022 13:58

I’d take him. He isn’t poorly. We are all going to have to start living with this. Our poor children have given up so much already.

TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 13:59

No wonder we still have 100,000 cases a day. Isolation is mandatory until day 10 if you don’t test negative on days 6 and 7. Did you miss that? Is your surname Johnson?

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 13:59

This first image is the first test we took last Saturday (based on me and DH being positive) and the other image is the test I’ve just done now.

The tests we’ve been doing throughout the week have all looked the same as the image of his first positive.

I’m genuinely surprised that the line of the test we’ve just done has faded so much in just 8 hours.

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….
OP posts:
Socialcarenope · 28/01/2022 14:00

In your situation I wouldn't have even found out DS was positive as I don't believe in testing unsymptomatic kids!

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