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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
beautifullymad · 28/01/2022 14:02

@Cantchooseaname

Hmmm… what would Boris do???
Whatever suited him....
CarrieBlue · 28/01/2022 14:02

I really hope I’m not going to the same event. So selfish.

User764832 · 28/01/2022 14:03

It will probably be negative tomorrow anyway when the event is.

Dagnabit · 28/01/2022 14:03

I would take him. I know it’s against the rules but he’s at the very end of his isolation period and we’re working towards no isolating at all now. Plus if Boris doesn’t stick to the rules, why should us mere mortals?

Stompythedinosaur · 28/01/2022 14:03

Well, this thread has been a real eye opener. I honestly had no idea people were going out to public events knowing they had covid, I'd assumed covid was largely being spread accidentally.

No wonder our covid rates remain so problematic.

brunonononono · 28/01/2022 14:05

@CarrieBlue

I really hope I’m not going to the same event. So selfish.
Any event you go to there’s going to be a lot of covid positive people walking about, many of them at a far more infectious stage
Stompythedinosaur · 28/01/2022 14:05

@Socialcarenope

In your situation I wouldn't have even found out DS was positive as I don't believe in testing unsymptomatic kids!
Not sure this is the triumphant point you think it is - you are just pointing out that if you don't engage in asymptomatic testing then you miss covid cases and would continue to spread covid to others at public events.
Doomscrolling · 28/01/2022 14:07

Oh just let him go!

He’s been looking forward to it for half a year, it’s not like a birthday party or other endlessly repeatable events we enjoy. Like all other children he’s missed out on so many experiences for a massive chunk of his life, and we don’t yet know what damage that has done to the wellbeing of children.

The line is faint so his viral load is low; it’s an outdoor event; he will wear a mask.

I’d say the risk to others (themselves willingly out in public, so not shielding) is vanishingly small, especially with this variant being so much less dangerous that previous strains.

Tell him he’s fine and let him have his event.

User764832 · 28/01/2022 14:07

Most people don't bother testing anyway if they don't have the 3 main symptoms, I certainly don't. Its only on MN that people seem to have a permanent cotton bud shoved up their nose

Yaya26 · 28/01/2022 14:07

As it's outdoors I'd let him go. Poor kid. Xx

Sugarplumfairy65 · 28/01/2022 14:07

Speaking as someone who is CEV and has shielded for nearly 2 years apart from medical appointments, I would let him go. Its day 7, the line is very faint, he asymptomatic.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 28/01/2022 14:07

I wouldn't let him. Our neighbours little boy is immune suppressed, his poor mother is terrified of restrictions lifting and it makes me furious reading threads like this. People just don't give a fuck as long as its not their child. I get that people may be asymptomatic but when you KNOW you have a disease that is contagious and dangerous to others, why the fuck would you knowingly spread it.

Its horrible for the poor child, of course and I'd feel so sorry for him but not enough to potentially kill someone else's little boy. I'd rather my child cry than her child die.

StellaGibs · 28/01/2022 14:08

My DS is on day 9 and still positive but he can go out even if still positive on Sunday!

I'd let him go at this point. Omicron is everywhere and soon enough all the bets will be off. This is from someone who has stuck to every bloody rule since the thing started. Just let him go and enjoy, my son is 7 too and they've missed so much.

reesewithoutaspoon · 28/01/2022 14:09

What would Boris do?
If its outdoors and he's day 7 honestly I would take him.

silverbubbles · 28/01/2022 14:09

go

Cameleongirl · 28/01/2022 14:09

Where we live ( in the US), children are exempt from having Covid PCR tests at school for 90 days after they test positive, as there’s a strong likelihood that their antibodies will result in a positive result. So DS, who’s recently recovered from asymptomatic Covid, isn’t being tested right now.

Our isolation period is also down to five days and hen wear a mask for a further five days.

So, I’d personally let your DS go as long as he wears a mask.

StellaGibs · 28/01/2022 14:10

@nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut

I wouldn't let him. Our neighbours little boy is immune suppressed, his poor mother is terrified of restrictions lifting and it makes me furious reading threads like this. People just don't give a fuck as long as its not their child. I get that people may be asymptomatic but when you KNOW you have a disease that is contagious and dangerous to others, why the fuck would you knowingly spread it.

Its horrible for the poor child, of course and I'd feel so sorry for him but not enough to potentially kill someone else's little boy. I'd rather my child cry than her child die.

At the risk of sounding callous, do they family not go anywhere? Omicron is extremely contagious. Does no one go to school, to work, to the shops etc? 1/3 of people are asymptomatic so are walking around with it and have no idea.
Abraxan · 28/01/2022 14:10

@Badnightguaranteed

Some People are showing positive on lft after 14 days
But that's not relevant here.

After day 10 we no longer need to test and can go out.

But whether people like it or not, the current rules - which are due to be in place for at least 2 more months - state that if you are testing positive on day 7 then it is your legal duty to remain in self isolation.

If the child was testing positive and it was day 14, they wouldn't be breaking any rules.
But it's day 7 - so they are.

They are also more likely to be infectious on day 7 than in day 14.

Quackpot · 28/01/2022 14:10

Of course he shouldn't go if he's positive. It's quite obvious from some of these replies why COVID ripped throughout the country in the first place though. I'm alright jack, f* everyone else.

adulthumanfemalemum · 28/01/2022 14:10

I would let him go. As said above he is past the most infectious time.

CEV people are vaccinated, and those who are not (including CEV children under 12) or for whom the vaccine won't work, are quite frankly not going to be going to a crowded event. I know several people who fall into this category and due to the high case numbers at the moment there is absolutely no way they would attend such an event. This is absolutely shit for them obviously but that's how it is at the moment.

Polyputthekettleon · 28/01/2022 14:10

I wouldn't let him go and potentially infect other kids who might not be as lucky as your 7 yo ds to be asymptomatic. If your child was vulnerable and caught a virus from someone who selfishly went to an event to satisfy his own wants, would you be happy? You and dh can use this as a valuable life lesson - in life we can't always have what we want. We have to consider other people. There are so many people on MN berating people who go into work with a cold and give them the germs etc , how can knowingly going out with covid and infecting others be okay?

Cameleongirl · 28/01/2022 14:11

@StellaGibs. See my post, your DS could potentially test positive for some time yet!

Doomscrolling · 28/01/2022 14:12

I'd rather my child cry than her child die

Pack your bags, everyone, we’re going on a guilt trip!

I don’t think that level of hyperbole is necessary or helpful.

Yaya26 · 28/01/2022 14:12

Me again. I haven't read the whole thread but I'm so pleased to see that commenters are being compassionate. I cringed when I read your post expecting you to get abuse left , right and centre. I'd def let him do but masked, advise him of social distancing, staying outdoors and hand hygiene to be on safe side. Go put a smile back on his wee face. Xx

marqueses · 28/01/2022 14:12

I'm in the let him go camp too.

I get that a lot of posters on here are absolute doomsday rule stickers but nearly 2 years in there's no way I'd deprive a small child of an outdoor event after so many days in isolation

We have to be pragmatic now. I'm sure the DH isn't stupid, he was can make sure the boy is wearing a mask, keeping as much distance as he can etc

If it is a football match even in a crowded area the chance of barely infectious breath of a child ending up near the mythical vunerable chemo patient sitting next to him is miniscule. He's bot going to be participating in drunken group hugs is he