Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 28/01/2022 13:38

I’d let him go

Everydayimhuffling · 28/01/2022 13:38

All this "children have suffered enough" nonsense completely ignores the children who get very ill or die (yes, there have been quite a lot of deaths) because of these decisions.

Personally I wouldn't want to teach my kids that it's fine to let vulnerable people die for their couple of hours of fun.

Okbutnotgreat · 28/01/2022 13:39

Let him go ffs. If anyone vulnerable is at the event then it is their risk to take and they are as likely to pick a variety of nasty winter bugs that are doing the rounds. If he’s isolated for a week he’s done enough imo, in a months time isolation will stop anyway. Get him to wear a mask and let him go.

SecretKeeper1 · 28/01/2022 13:39

My friend, at the tail end of his covid stint, had a strong positive in the morning, a weak positive after lunch and a negative in the evening. So keep testing him!

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 28/01/2022 13:39

I wouldn’t have asked on here and would have taken him!

JillyC2022 · 28/01/2022 13:40

I would let him go. Poor kid, offering not to eat!

I would mask him up, and make sure he had no contact with anyone or anything. There are bound to be people everywhere we go now, who have the damn thing and don't even know it.

GingerGill · 28/01/2022 13:41

I’d for sure let him go!

Abraxan · 28/01/2022 13:42

What I don't understand is why this thread has so many people saying it's fine, compared to other threads this week with totally different views. Is it because it's a child?

On previous threads we've had this week posters have been adamant:

  • a covid positive parent can't drive their covid negative (and recently recovered form covid) child to school even though the parent won't be leaving the car at any point
  • a covid positive person couldn't go for a walk with their dog, late at night, in an isolated field
  • a covid negative person shouldn't be arranging to take care of their covid positive (step) children in their own home

There are many more.

So why is this one so different?

Covid positive child wants to go to an event where other people will be - why is this scenario suddenly fine when others aren't?

Prettybubblesintheair · 28/01/2022 13:42

Let him go

TheMerrickBoy · 28/01/2022 13:43

@Abraxan

What I don't understand is why this thread has so many people saying it's fine, compared to other threads this week with totally different views. Is it because it's a child?

On previous threads we've had this week posters have been adamant:

  • a covid positive parent can't drive their covid negative (and recently recovered form covid) child to school even though the parent won't be leaving the car at any point
  • a covid positive person couldn't go for a walk with their dog, late at night, in an isolated field
  • a covid negative person shouldn't be arranging to take care of their covid positive (step) children in their own home

There are many more.

So why is this one so different?

Covid positive child wants to go to an event where other people will be - why is this scenario suddenly fine when others aren't?

I think it's because he is a child. And possibly different people commenting.
CovidForChristmas · 28/01/2022 13:44

I wouldn’t but appreciate I’m in the minority on this thread.

My child does qualify for a vaccine age 5-11 because of an underlying health condition but can’t have it yet because they are just getting over a hospital stay due to catching covid.

As a result my view is probably biased.

NannyGythaOgg · 28/01/2022 13:44

I'd definitely let him go

Gilda152 · 28/01/2022 13:45

Fffffucks sake.

People on MN actively encouraging someone to allow someone carrying a proven deadly virus to mix with other people. OP you are right to have your doubts. It's shit but we've all missed important stuff and some people, like my dad, are dead from being in contact with covid positive people unknowingly. I don't say that to guilt trip I say that to underline that OF COURSE YOU DON'T KNOWINGLY GO OUT WHEN YOU'RE POSITIVE.

Joystir59 · 28/01/2022 13:45

I'd take him. Hopefully he will get a -ve result in the morning but if take him anyway provided venue army asking to see lft results. Even that could be achieved

Joystir59 · 28/01/2022 13:45

Aren't not army

WaystarRoycoCEO · 28/01/2022 13:46

Another one saying I would let him go. This is just getting daft now. Soon these restrictions will not be in place at all.

Thesheerrelief · 28/01/2022 13:46

I would let him go if it's day 7 and he wears a mask. I would also tell him his test is negative so he could go with a clear conscience.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 13:46

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

When I read a post saying I should take him I think to myself, “Of course I should, you’re right.”

And then I read a post explaining why I shouldn’t and I also think, “You’re completely right.”

I’ve just done the LFT and although it’s a lot lighter than it was this morning the second line is still definitely there.

OP posts:
Joystir59 · 28/01/2022 13:47

I think after #partygate anyone can make their own mind up about what risks they take.

AnEpisodeOfEastenders · 28/01/2022 13:47

Please let him go. In years to come you'll look back on this and realise how ridiculous all our sacrifices have been!

TonTonMacoute · 28/01/2022 13:47

@Everydayimhuffling

All this "children have suffered enough" nonsense completely ignores the children who get very ill or die (yes, there have been quite a lot of deaths) because of these decisions.

Personally I wouldn't want to teach my kids that it's fine to let vulnerable people die for their couple of hours of fun.

Actual evidence and numbers are always useful Hmm!

If he is careful and wears a mask I see no harm in taking him to this event.

twinkie100 · 28/01/2022 13:47

Let him go.

OVO1410 · 28/01/2022 13:47

My mum (56) had an auto-immune disease and was immunocompromised. She was given a prognosis of 10 years but told pneumonia could be fatal at any time. Two months later, she caught a cold, developed PCP and died. This was the year before the pandemic started. Nobody was testing and isolating to protect my mum, and rightly so. As a family we took precautions ourselves around her and she decided for herself what events to attend (aware of the risk she was taking).

Even if covid was eradicated, there will always be other viruses and there will always be those who are vulnerable to them. We can't do anything about that, we can't live how we have been living for the last two years forever, as much as some people would like too.

Tell your son he is negative and let him go.

Joystir59 · 28/01/2022 13:48

@Thesheerrelief

I would let him go if it's day 7 and he wears a mask. I would also tell him his test is negative so he could go with a clear conscience.
Ditto. And I'd 'arrange' a negative rest result if need be.
Songoftheseas · 28/01/2022 13:48

This won’t be a popular view, but let him go - children have suffered enough because of Covid. You can have a positive LFT for weeks after having Covid