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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2022 13:29

As sad as it is he’s still testing positive so need to do the 10 days unless he is neg 7&8

As isn’t neg day 6 so not he shouldn’t go tomorrow

But I seem to be in the minority

Agree would it be the same answers if an adult

My daughters birthday party was cancelled twice as end of March

She was upset. Both times

One of my oldest friends couldn’t come to my wedding as in isolation

It’s shit but that’s the rules at the moment

You dh is wrong g to break them

SmellyOldOwls · 28/01/2022 13:29

Let him go. I say that as someone lying in bed coughing my lungs up with covid! It's outside, he's on day 6, the risk is minimal.

Scirocco · 28/01/2022 13:29

It's a real shame, but if he's still testing positive on day 7 then he should still be isolating under current guidance. Missing the event would be hard and might well feel like the end of the world to him, but going and infecting others could lead to very serious consequences. People are still dying from COVID, experiencing serious complications, and developing Long COVID. Can your husband honestly say that your son missing this event would be on a par with someone losing a loved one, or becoming unable to work or to be independent? Because for many people those are still very real potential outcomes from COVID infections.

There'll be other events he can enjoy without risking harming other people's health.

Wreath21 · 28/01/2022 13:29

@gogetta

Pls don't let him go. You know what the right thing to do is. It's unfortunate people don't care about exposing other vulnerable people. Yes it sucks he can't go but truly let him stay home till he tests negative.
Some people are still testing positive three months after having the virus and recovering from it. Even the rules state that you can go out and about again after 10 days maximum. This witless moralising, whining and attempted guilt-tripping really has to stop, it is doing far more harm than the virus itself.
Abraxan · 28/01/2022 13:29

There is a huge difference between unknowingly being positive when out and about to knowingly being positive and going out and about.

One is unintentional.

The OP and her husband are not unintentionally spreading covid.
They would be knowingly sending their child out and about. They are knowingly willing to risk others catching covid.

Grumpycatsmum · 28/01/2022 13:30

I say go provided they are outdoors all day and no close contact

BrinksmansEntry · 28/01/2022 13:30

Positive LFT means he can't go.

It doesn't matter if he is going to be disappointed. How have we got to the point in life where we would rather let infectious children out than let them experience disappointment? If your child had measles and still in the infectious period but was feeling ok, would you let him go?

I've been in this position lately, stayed within the rules because I didn't want my kids to spread covid even though they felt ok.

mrsprefect · 28/01/2022 13:31

Let him go. Wee ones have suffered enough.

EerieSilence · 28/01/2022 13:31

If you were a positive, you may get positive tests for months afterwards.
It's 7 days self-isolation if positive, followed by 3 days with respirator.

CornishGem1975 · 28/01/2022 13:32

Another who would let him go. Soon this will be a non-issue anyway, there won't be any isolating.

Whatsyourfavouritescarymovie · 28/01/2022 13:33

Let him go, poor kid

Blossomtoes · 28/01/2022 13:33

Let him go. It’s beyond ridiculous to have to isolate for what is becoming a largely asymptotic illness.

Helpwiththisplz · 28/01/2022 13:34

I’d let him go personally. Outdoor event, he’ll be on day 7 and he’s asymptomatic.

TopCatsTopHat · 28/01/2022 13:34

I'd let him go if this event can't be replicated.

Finallygotme · 28/01/2022 13:34

I've got covid, most of my house have covid and my dd who has a mild headache which is how everyone else started has been told she must go to school and it will be a unauthorised attendance if she does.
She is a much greater risk than your son. The rules are bonkers.

georgarina · 28/01/2022 13:35

I would let him go.
It's day 7 and he's asymptomatic.
DS has had a horrible cough and had to stay home until PCR - once it came back negative they were happy to have him back.
MIL who caught it said it was comparable to Covid.
Yet no need to isolate because it's not that specific thing.

Honestly barring the fact that DS is very unlikely to pass it on and in some places would already be out of isolation, CEV people are aware of the risks and make choices accordingly, just like pre-Covid.

OldMMC · 28/01/2022 13:35

No way should he be going. You have no idea who he'll be near.

Abraxan · 28/01/2022 13:36

@mrsprefect

Let him go. Wee ones have suffered enough.
And if the child knowingly goes out, stands near another child and they catch it?

Could be that child's half term holiday - being missed out on.
Could be that child's chance to go to a special event missed out On.

Half term is 2 week's away in many areas. Someone in contact with it now could well have their half term plans spoiled, including other children 'suffering' as a result.

Yes, it could be contracted by so done unknowingly spreading it. And it's a risk people take.
But to then have people knowingly risking other people by going out when they know their positive - selfish behaviour. Legally and morally wrong,

Why is the wants if the OP's dd more important to the wants of a child he may infect?

peoniesarejustperfect · 28/01/2022 13:36

I'd def let them go, but don't tell anyone IRL. Do they need to show anything for entry?

CharlotteRose90 · 28/01/2022 13:36

Beyond selfish if you let him go. You all still need to isolate. What message will you be sending to him if you let him go. That it’s ok to break the rules to get what you want. Shameful.

TheReluctantPhoenix · 28/01/2022 13:36

I agree with a pp- depends on the event.

If it is people tight pressed together outdoors, I wouldn’t. If it is something where he could distance, I would get him to wear a mask and let him go.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 28/01/2022 13:36

Take him, 100%
Most people aren't even bothering to test anymore.
You've done that, you've isolated when he was most infections, take him.

tryingnottopanic33 · 28/01/2022 13:37

Aside from whether this is morally right or wrong, I would say your problem is what happens if they bump in to friends - is your husband going to tell your son to stay 2m away from them?
And if so, what reason will he give the friends because saying 'he's positive for Covid' isn't going to go down very well.

Hollyhead · 28/01/2022 13:37

I’d let him go - we’re only a few weeks away from no longer testing people who are asymptomatic. I’d pack my own food and drink for the journey though to avoid unnecessary contact with others at a service station etc and make him wear a mask.

hellcatspangle · 28/01/2022 13:37

Just let him go. There's probably thousands of asymptomatic people going to be there not even knowing they've got it.

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