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Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
NuttyinNotts · 28/01/2022 13:23

The guys in charge of the country weren't actually actively infectious when breaking the rules though. So if you want to use the government as the bar to reach, then this would be one step below even that.

OhYeahyeahyeah · 28/01/2022 13:23

Yeo, let him go Smile

DisappearingGirl · 28/01/2022 13:23

Oh gosh, I can honestly say I don't know what I would do here!

Early in the pandemic I would have said definitely stay home. But now that loads of rules have been relaxed, most of us are vaccinated, household contacts can go out and about, I'm much less sure!

I don't think we really know how much difference there is between a positive but asymptomatic person on day 7 (can't go out) and a positive but asymptomatic person on day 11 (can go out).

I think to echo others ... if he'll be some distance from others I'd let him go. If he'll be close to others I probably wouldn't. But I'd try and book something else nice for him. If your DH chooses to override you, I wouldn't fight too hard.

If he does go, I would tell him he is allowed to breathe - sounds daft but I can imagine me at that age trying not to breathe all day and doing myself some damage!!

LookItsMeAgain · 28/01/2022 13:24

The whole point about being asymptomatic is that you don't have any symptoms and feel perfectly well in yourself but you're still contagious and have a viral load.

It is heartbreaking but everyone's world has been turned upside down throughout this pandemic.

Please think of the person they would be standing next to or queuing with that may have been waiting the same 6 months to attend this event but that person is either elderly or has some immunosuppression. What would happen if your son got a tickle in his throat and has to cough? With the best intentions in the world I'd keep him home until he tests negative.

I think those that are saying that we have to live with Covid must remember that part of that means dealing with the infectious period of the virus too and if that means staying away from others until a negative LFT is produced then that's what we have to do.

beautifullymad · 28/01/2022 13:24

Have you got a simple stretchy type cloth mask? Would he wear this?

I'd let him go especially as it's outdoor. If he's asymptomatic then the only reason you've discovered it is because you tested. You could very easily have missed it and him carrying on his day to day as normal.

He won't ever forget that he couldn't go.

I think very very soon with death rates now comparable with flu, the same restrictions as flu will apply - no restrictions at all.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 13:24

I’m testing him again now - just to see.

My husband knows that morally I won’t be able to wave them off and say “Have a good time” ….. but nor do I want to be the bad guy.

And I know that being a bad guy is part of parenting, but it’s the fact the day would be ruined because of me, (as opposed to a joint decision with my DH) would make me feel very shit.

I’m so tempted to test him again but I doubt much will have changed in the 8 hours since I last did him Sad

OP posts:
beautifullymad · 28/01/2022 13:24

@Elpheba

If tomorrow is day 7 I’d let him go. I’d do an LF in the morning and tell him he’s clear even if he wasn’t!
I'd do this too.
Devo1818 · 28/01/2022 13:25

I would let him go.

DarleneSnell · 28/01/2022 13:25

I'd take him. It's outside.

Sharrowgirl · 28/01/2022 13:25

Oh my god, just let him go. You’re splitting hairs over the number of days.

Abraxan · 28/01/2022 13:25

What is the event?

How close will he be to any other member of the public?

I know you say outdoors, but is it totally outdoors, with no indoor passing parts, with no shelters, roofs or sides?

And what about getting there? If in car, how do they enter the venue?

If asked about symptoms, etc on entry (though no where legally has to use covid passes, some places are still asking simple questions such as 'have you had xxx symptoms in last x hours or have you tested positive in x days') will he and dad be happy to lie about it?

Seeing, as you appear to be moving towards him going and his dad certainly is happy to take him even if he tests positive on the actual day, then at least the above highlights the level of risk to others.

TheLovelinessOfDemons · 28/01/2022 13:26

The people saying let him go are the reason my adult DS can only leave the house for 10 minutes a day for physio. I know it's horrible, but I just want him to be able to lead a normal life.

Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 13:26

No! It’s shit, but no, he should NOT go out. The rules are to isolate for 10 days unless you have negative tests. There’s a big chance he’s still contagious. Read this, from gov.uk website:

“If you leave isolation on day 6, after 5 full days of isolation, between 20% and 30% of people are still infectious.

The percentage of those released while infectious is reduced to around 7% if people have 2 consecutive negative tests and then leave isolation from day 6.“

People like all those of you above make a mockery of those following the rules and you are the reason this pandemic has been dragging on, by willingly going out while contagious and infecting others. Stop being selfish! I hope everyone who doesn’t follow their legal duty to self isolate gets caught and fined.

Quartz2208 · 28/01/2022 13:26

Actually I dont think there is a right or a wrong only an arbitrary line in the sand that says negative tests you can go out on day 6. Positive stay until day 10 and then go out. Test if you want.

We went on holiday and everyone had to take a LFT 2 days before getting on a plane. Everybody did (I assume) yet there was still a positive PCR near me as I got pinged. The rules were followed but someone was still positive.

I can guarantee that there will be someone who is positive at that event walking around (indeed more than one) and that is the risk of doing anything at the moment.

Tell him to mask and stay outside and distance as much as he can

Mallysmomma · 28/01/2022 13:26

I’d defo let him go

astoundedgoat · 28/01/2022 13:26

I'd let him go.

If you look at the data on infectiousness, the three days before, of and after symptoms are far and away the most infectious days. By 7 days after a positive test (and for all you know it might be 9 or 10 days after his asymptomatic infection) your son is highly UNinfectious, even if there is still a faint line. There is still a very small chance that he is very faintly infectious, but you can offset that against the fact that the event is outdoors.

If you must, test now and again tomorrow but don't squint too hard at the window.

Abraxan · 28/01/2022 13:27

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’m testing him again now - just to see.

My husband knows that morally I won’t be able to wave them off and say “Have a good time” ….. but nor do I want to be the bad guy.

And I know that being a bad guy is part of parenting, but it’s the fact the day would be ruined because of me, (as opposed to a joint decision with my DH) would make me feel very shit.

I’m so tempted to test him again but I doubt much will have changed in the 8 hours since I last did him Sad

Your DH is being selfish by making you make the decision. I suspect he just doesn't want to be the 'bad guy.'

He should be supporting you, and your ds, in the disappointment of a missed event, not forcing you to be the bad guy in it all.

RememberThePenguins · 28/01/2022 13:27

Let him go.

He is past the peak for infectiousness and as he's asymptomatic he won't be very infectious anyway.

The event is outdoors which reduces the risk to around one in 10000 anyway according to some studies.

Covid is so prevalent at the moment that there will be multiple people there who are infectious, and probably more infectious than your DS and far more likely to transmit it, given his symptoms and stage.

Kids have had a shit couple of years and it's time the adults start putting their needs first for a change.

Grapesavocado · 28/01/2022 13:27

No I'm sorry. The government has been rubbish at vaccinating vulnerable children. If you had one, you would understand why this is important.

Crimesean · 28/01/2022 13:27

Poor little mite, I'd let him go.

me4real · 28/01/2022 13:27

Stop him. It'd be putting everyone at risk, including some vulnerable people who might be hit hard if they catch it (and it's very contagious.)

Soontobe60 · 28/01/2022 13:27

I’m currently stuck at home with covid that I caught at school from some child who’s parents didn’t bother testing for 2 days despite him having a cough.
He may not be ill but he’s still infectious. Do what you want.

Flabbyflabberghasted · 28/01/2022 13:28

Id let him go

weaselish · 28/01/2022 13:28

Let him go, with a mask. It's everywhere at the moment; seems hard to avoid it anyway.

Endeavour1971 · 28/01/2022 13:28

I would let him go. 100 percent

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