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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Wheelz46 · 28/01/2022 20:29

I'm sorry but it is beyond selfish to let him go, it's 10 day for a reason or earlier if 2 negative tests 24 hours apart. As the event is tomorrow, this will not be the case for your son.

Let's say no CEV person attends the event but your child passes it to another child who if presents symptoms tests positive, they will then have to isolate, missing more of school.

Granted if they attend school there is a high probability that they may catch it anyway in turn having to isolate but knowingly sending your contagious child to such an event is morally wrong! Children have missed enough school without irresponsible parents adding to the situation.

Yes, it's awful that your son would miss something that he has been so looking forward to but so have lots of children. Cancelled birthday parties, theatres etc but most importantly they have missed so much face to face education that I personally find it extremely irresponsible to knowingly add to the loss of this face to face education!

Delatron · 28/01/2022 20:30

Didn’t quote but what @LethargicActress said basically

Rainbowdrops2021 · 28/01/2022 20:30

I have been following this thread and it has given me the most hope I’ve had in such a long time. The children we crated have suffered so much during this pandemic for a virus that in most cases effects children so mildly they wouldn’t even know they had it if it weren’t for a test. They have sacrificed their time with loved ones, they’ve sacrificed their education and they’ve sacrificed the time they would have spent socialising and learning about the world around them which is so vital to their development . Nothing will bring that back. They’ve given up enough and I am so relieved people are starting to come to their senses.

grapewine · 28/01/2022 20:30

The rules are so arbitrary everywhere, and your government is taking the absolute piss out of you all. I'd be sending him to have this experience with his dad.

Tana433 · 28/01/2022 20:31

This thread has genuinely upset me. What the hell are we doing to our poor kids. It is completely irrational and ridiculous. How many truly vulnerable people are going to be attending a football match for goodness sake and of those who do they will be triple vaxxed and in full knowledge of the risk they are taking. Let the lad go to the match.

Delatron · 28/01/2022 20:31

History will not look back favourably on how we treated children in this pandemic.

MaryBeery · 28/01/2022 20:32

He needs to stay home. I'm a football fan and on our club forums loads of people reported coming down with Covid after being infected at the Euros, and there was another flurry of infections after a specific away game earlier in the season. At that was before Omicron arrived. Being outside is safer, but it's not guaranteed, and there's still the matter of the concourses, the loos and so on.

It sucks for your son, but it's unrealistic to expect him to go and remember not to sing and shout and get generally over-excited when he gets caught up in the game. Also, as others have said, giving him the impression that it's OK to circumvent the rules to get something that you really really want, is setting yourself up for trouble later. Get his Dad to get him a programme, take photos and video pre/post match to get a feel for the atmosphere, and have a detailed debrief when he gets back. Does the club or local radio broadcast commentary of the game? If so, let him listen along in real time, and maybe see if they can give him a shoutout for being unlucky enough to have to miss the game.

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 20:32

This is definitely negative now!!!

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….
OP posts:
HelloPanda12 · 28/01/2022 20:33

I truly cannot comprehend the selfishness of so many people in these comments. He’s positive. I can only imagine you’re all the same people who complain about restrictions and lockdowns yet absolute idiocy like leaving the house whilst still being positive is a good chunk of the reason that these things keep happening.

OP, you seem to have your mind made up so at this point I would take this ridiculous post down. It concerns me how selfish and idiotic you all are and I refuse to apologise for the wording. Nothing but stupidity.

LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 28/01/2022 20:35

@Delatron

History will not look back favourably on how we treated children in this pandemic.
Indeed not.
Wheelz46 · 28/01/2022 20:36

@DontWantTheRivalry is the event tomorrow? You have 2 have 2 negative tests, 24 hours apart!

TheKeatingFive · 28/01/2022 20:36

Yes, it's awful that your son would miss something that he has been so looking forward to but so have lots of children. Cancelled birthday parties, theatres etc

Well quite. There was always going to come a point where people decide enough is enough. The risk of him passing it on at this stage, outdoors, is minimal and the poor kid has already given up plenty for the 'greater good'.

EarringsandLipstick · 28/01/2022 20:38

There are children in hospital with Omicron.

That must be a tiny tiny number.

SecretKeeper1 · 28/01/2022 20:39

@DontWantTheRivalry

This is definitely negative now!!!
Excellent, so he’s had a negative on day 6 and will have another on day 7 and that means he’s released!!

He shall go to the (foot)ball!!

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 28/01/2022 20:40

@SecretKeeper1
Technically he needs another negative 24 hours later….

EarringsandLipstick · 28/01/2022 20:40

@Benjispruce5

Even if most children get it mildly, they pass it on to others. How long is it going to take to get that message through?
Who also get it mildly. Even those who are vulnerable are not being significantly impacted by Omicron.

That doesn't mean we wander about giving it at will but OP's son 8/ asymptomatic on Day 7 and had a vanishingly low risk of affecting anyone.

LethargicActress · 28/01/2022 20:41

He got a negative! Problem solved! I got over invested and I’m so happy for your son! He can go and sing his heart out 😁

Rainbowsandstorms · 28/01/2022 20:41

However the event is tomorrow and it’s two negative tests 24 hours apart. He had a strong positive this morning, lines don’t usually fade so fast.

PinkSyCo · 28/01/2022 20:42

This is definitely negative now!!!

Yay! I hope your little one has a fab time at the football with his dad. Smile

LyricalBlowToTheJaw · 28/01/2022 20:42

@TheKeatingFive

Yes, it's awful that your son would miss something that he has been so looking forward to but so have lots of children. Cancelled birthday parties, theatres etc

Well quite. There was always going to come a point where people decide enough is enough. The risk of him passing it on at this stage, outdoors, is minimal and the poor kid has already given up plenty for the 'greater good'.

Yes, children have already suffered massively is not the argument that poster thinks it is.
EarringsandLipstick · 28/01/2022 20:43

Well I didn’t for the first three days following his dad’s positive results for the same reason as you, and it’s only after this thread did I realise I should have been

Just curious on this - in Ireland every close contact gets a text alert (to parents if it's a child) and they specify who needs to restrict movements of not, and when you need to test. All close contacts test.

Is that not something that happens in England?

EarringsandLipstick · 28/01/2022 20:44

@DontWantTheRivalry

This is definitely negative now!!!
Brilliant 👏👏👏
saraclara · 28/01/2022 20:47

Yay! So pleased for him.

It's a long time since I've been as invested in a thread. I hope he has a great time tomorrow.

Anna10309 · 28/01/2022 20:47

excellent op! relieved for you and ds!!

TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 20:47

The rules are the best stab we have at getting it right in this country at this time. Britain has an appallingly high level of Covid. The government has relaxed the regulations mostly for politicise reasons in the past ten days.

But it seems nobody gives a damn about the national effort any more.