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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 19:13

@skippy67 maybe you should do some more reading? OP will take him if he’s negative, thereby breaking the law as it would be his first negative test.

The reason why you need TWO negative tests is that people are still contagious after just one and if the ten days aren’t up yet. Only after two negative tests there is just a small chance left you are still contagious. It’s likely that he will spend Covid if he goes.

MakingProgress2022 · 28/01/2022 19:13

Let him go

PrivateHall · 28/01/2022 19:14

[quote 2022NameChange]@CovidForChristmas agreed, my sister has had a transplant, very vulnerable, lots of additional complications. She had a brain bleed and needed major surgery to fix, which was after first jab and before second. She still isn't signed off for having second jab due to increased brain swelling still. So I agree, some of our most vulnerable, due to their vulnerabilities, are not fully vaccinated yet[/quote]
That's as may be, but is your sister or anyone equally as vulnerable likely to be attending this match? I would imagine not, given the likelihood that many at this venue will be spreading covid ( either knowingly or unknowingly).

Belladonna12 · 28/01/2022 19:15

It's true that not everyone has had the chance to be fully vaccinated yet and that the vaccines don't work for all immuncompromised people but surely in that situation they wouldn't be at a crowded football match at the moment. There is a very high chance of infection, given 1 in 20 people have it, not all asymptomatic people will be testing themselves and even if they are are the tests are not that accurate (there are a lot of false negatives) and many people will still be infectious after 5-days anyway.

isadoradancing123 · 28/01/2022 19:15

Let him go

Boomboomackalackalackaboom · 28/01/2022 19:15

@HabitsDieHard

Ah let him go. The risk is so much smaller than it used to be. Vulnerable people are vaccinated. He's only 7.
Many immunosuppressed people don’t develop a full immune response to the vaccines so many vulnerable people are still vulnerable, despite being vaccinated.

The risks may be smaller for people like you but they aren’t a lot smaller for many people.

ringoutthebells · 28/01/2022 19:16

If he can be driven by dh only and doesn't need to interact closely with others then I'd let him go. Will he wear a mask if he needs to talk to anyone/briefly pass through anywhere crowded?

PrivateHall · 28/01/2022 19:17

@affairsofdragons

I hope everyone who is saying he should go, or that they would go, or that they would send their own child aren't parents who complain about the current states of schools when we can't get enough staff members in to actually teach. We're babysitting at the moment in many of our classes because we have so many covid positive staff members, as well as a very high percentage of children off.
Yes, we all know there are high levels of transmission at the minute, everyone knows that. It is kinda the point. Anyone attending this event will know they have a significant chance of catching covid. Whilst I personally think it is unlikely that this DC will be transmitting it, many others certainly will be.

If so many staff in your school have it now, things should get better very soon as they will soon have immunity!

chaosrabbitland · 28/01/2022 19:17

@HelloPanda12

Not to sound rude, but please don’t be selfish in letting him go. I know he’s upset but I’m sure the family of a dying older relative who has picked up COVID from someone who knows they have it and are out and about anyway will be a lot more distraught. Your husband needs to realise this virus is actually killing people and although your son is completely fine he is still positive and can still spread it.
and soon no one will have to isolate at all so whats the difference now ? , its just the usual handwringers on here guilt tripping away about this poor lad potentially wiping out umpteen dozen people like usual
MoonCowbag · 28/01/2022 19:17

I'd let him go. The world is full of viruses that are dangerous to those who are CEV. Are we all going to stop living our lives freely forever?

CallmeHendricks · 28/01/2022 19:20

Hmm. What would Boris do?

2022NameChange · 28/01/2022 19:22

@PrivateHall no, not at all, and I wasn't saying that. I was replying to the comment that all vulnerable people are vaccinated. This isn't actually true. And there are different levels of vulnerabilities, although being in the transplant community, there are A LOT that go to football matches, feeling safer that they're outdoors and that people won't go if sick. I did comment previously saying that this is a terribly sad situation, but I would focus on having a lovely day at home with DS, as opposed to putting others at potential risk, but I realise it's more multifaceted than that, I was just giving my view. Not judging.

Lena18 · 28/01/2022 19:22

Poor little fella :(

I feel for him but I don't think you should let him go unless there happens to be a negative test. He might be asymptomatic but he could spread this to someone else who's reaction could be so much different. It's shit now but in a few years he won't remember it

Bethany7 · 28/01/2022 19:23

I would let him go.

I think we under estimate/ forget the impact covid has had on our children. It has been frightening for them and a strange time.

He will be day 7 and sat outside next to his dad and if this was in a few weeks time he wouldn't even need to isolate. Let him go and don't feel bad about it.

TabithaTittlemouse · 28/01/2022 19:26

I’m glad that you have decided not to let him go. It isn’t worth it.

Can your Dh FaceTime the match so ds can watch at home?

Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 19:26

@MichelleScarn yes they can call or do home visits

Moonlaserbearwolf · 28/01/2022 19:27

@MoonCowbag

I'd let him go. The world is full of viruses that are dangerous to those who are CEV. Are we all going to stop living our lives freely forever?
I agree! It's so easy to lose perspective. There will be many people at the match with covid who don't even know they have it because they haven't tested themselves. And many more people with other communicable viruses that will be passed around (though mitigated by being outside anyway). I would say stay at home if your son was within the 5 day period, but after 7 days he should go to the match and enjoy himself.
OwlIceCrem · 28/01/2022 19:28

@CallmeHendricks

Hmm. What would Boris do?
👍🏻😂
Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 19:28

@MoonCowbag

I'd let him go. The world is full of viruses that are dangerous to those who are CEV. Are we all going to stop living our lives freely forever?
So remind me which other virus is circulating so widely at the moment and that is killing people.

OK, maybe flu? Oh wait, there’s a vaccine for that.

honeybeetheoneandonly · 28/01/2022 19:30

I hope, he'll go. Test him in the morning to reassure yourself, if you have to but let him go. (But do not come back and update the thread when the unavoidable question "what did you decide?" gets asked tomorrow.)

LethargicActress · 28/01/2022 19:30

Let him go

jupitermars1345 · 28/01/2022 19:31

OK, maybe flu? Oh wait, there’s a vaccine for that.

There is one for covid as well?

Belladonna12 · 28/01/2022 19:31

@MoonCowbag

I'd let him go. The world is full of viruses that are dangerous to those who are CEV. Are we all going to stop living our lives freely forever?
I can't think of anything that is both as infectious and dangerous (if CEV) though.
Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 19:32

If you align yourself with Trump/Boris then go ahead and be a knob and take him.

Pat123dev · 28/01/2022 19:33

I wouldn't have asked on here and just let dh make the choice.....