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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Vbree · 28/01/2022 17:42

I'd let him go! Covid has been so hard got children!

Museumland · 28/01/2022 17:42

It's really hard but if he was just going for a walk in a park with no one around then it would be fine but I would say for an event, no. It's the isolation that's hard, if someone else picked it up then they would have to isolate and miss school, work and/or something really important to them...

Vbree · 28/01/2022 17:42

For*!

catgirl1976 · 28/01/2022 17:45

I've been super strict on the rules all the way through but honestly in this situation I would let him go

kagerou · 28/01/2022 17:45

If he goes out positive he will give it to others. You don't know what that will do to them and its supremely selfish to put them at risk. You don't know if you're standing next to someone immunocomprimised or if the person your son breathes on will be unable to fly home etc.

I feel so sad / ashamed by the amount of people telling you to put others at risk.

Please keep your son home if he's positive and hopefully when he is older he will understand and respect you for not taking the selfish route x

p.s keeping my fingers crossed he tests negative so you don't have to make this decision at all

Belladonna12 · 28/01/2022 17:45

@LadyGoddiva Why are you shocked that not everyone assumes that the football match will be crowded and that there would not be any chance of social distancing? I've only been to a couple of matches admittedly but there was plenty of room. Did OP say that it would be crowded?

PrivateHall · 28/01/2022 17:46

Good luck op, please remember to come back and update us. I really have my fingers tightly crossed that your son gets to go!

Twasacceptableinthe80s · 28/01/2022 17:47

Let him go. How on earth did we sleepwalk into this madness where we are locking away perfectly healthy children and preventing them from making memories with their loved ones. It’s shameful.

PattyPan · 28/01/2022 17:47

@Vbree

I'd let him go! Covid has been so hard got children!
It’s hard on even more people if it’s being spread around.
Morgan12 · 28/01/2022 17:48

100% would let him go.

TheSmallAssassin · 28/01/2022 17:48

Disappointment is part of life. It's your job to teach him resilience and help him know that although it's a shame if he has to miss the game, he will be OK and he will get over it. And that he should do the right thing as part of our social contract.

Idontbelieveit14 · 28/01/2022 17:49

[quote Belladonna12]**@LadyGoddiva Why are you shocked that not everyone assumes that the football match will be crowded and that there would not be any chance of social distancing? I've only been to a couple of matches admittedly but there was plenty of room. Did OP say that it would be crowded?[/quote]
Every single match I’ve ever been to has had us sat right next to, in front of and behind strangers Hmm

erinaceus · 28/01/2022 17:50

@DontWantTheRivalry

As an aside, what a sad state of affairs when you poor son thinks he has to promise to to eat in order to go out. The damage we have inflicted on these kids is just awful.

I was so upset when he asked if he could go if he promised not to eat so he wouldn’t have to open his mouth. It was just awful. It broke my heart.

We’ve told him that if he can’t go tomorrow then DH will go out and buy lots of lovely treats for us to eat during the daytime, we’ll let him go to bed late (have a movie might) and that when we can leave the house we’ll take him to the toy shop and buy him a new game.

It didn’t make him feel any happier but there’s not much else we can say.

I haven't seen it mentioned but is the match going to be on TV? If you are able to find out if it is and if so who is showing it you might be able to figure out a way to view it. It's not the same but could be a way to spend the day/afternoon.
DiddyHeck · 28/01/2022 17:52

[quote Belladonna12]**@LadyGoddiva Why are you shocked that not everyone assumes that the football match will be crowded and that there would not be any chance of social distancing? I've only been to a couple of matches admittedly but there was plenty of room. Did OP say that it would be crowded?[/quote]
Well quite. God, it's shocking how people are so clueless...

Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 17:53

WTF is wrong with people encouraging illegal behaviour? Fingers crossed Test and Trace visits your house tomorrow while your son is out spreading Covid everywhere.

Belladonna12 · 28/01/2022 17:54

Well quite. God, it's shocking how people are so clueless...

Why is it "shocking" that someone is clueless about football matches? Not everyone is interested in football.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:54

Yeah Covid is hard on children, especially those that lose grandparents and family to Covid because selfish people are unable to think beyond their own needs.

Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 17:55

@Dguu6u

WTF is wrong with people encouraging illegal behaviour? Fingers crossed Test and Trace visits your house tomorrow while your son is out spreading Covid everywhere.
Nah, no chance!
Dguu6u · 28/01/2022 17:55

All the sacrifices people have made, not being able to visit relatives one last time before they die, and you get upset that your son can’t go to a football game! Shame on you and all the other people commenting it’s fine to go.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2022 17:55

[quote Belladonna12]**@LadyGoddiva Why are you shocked that not everyone assumes that the football match will be crowded and that there would not be any chance of social distancing? I've only been to a couple of matches admittedly but there was plenty of room. Did OP say that it would be crowded?[/quote]
Assume it will if a special match

Assume it’s part of fa cup or something like that, that the team wouldn’t normally be in

Tulips21 · 28/01/2022 17:56

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I wouldn’t ask on MN tbh!

Everyone is going to say yabu on here but you need to make your own RL decision

Poor little kid “if i promise not to eat all day” 😭😭😭

Covid has been so shit for children

agree
newyear1 · 28/01/2022 17:57

Given he's a week past his first positive and it's outside, I'd let him go if he wears a decent mask.

I've caught the tube a number of times this week, lots of passengers weren't wearing masks and may well be asymptomatic and positive. I doubt your son is any more of a risk to anyone on day 7, outside and in his mask.

Supposedly the government is thinking of scrapping isolation completely in March.

GalacticGoddess · 28/01/2022 17:57

Let him go!

skippy67 · 28/01/2022 17:57

@Dguu6u

All the sacrifices people have made, not being able to visit relatives one last time before they die, and you get upset that your son can’t go to a football game! Shame on you and all the other people commenting it’s fine to go.
I think the OP has decided ( wrinkly in my opinion), that she's not going to allow her ds to go. Too busy dusting off your pitchfork to read the thread?
saraclara · 28/01/2022 17:58

I've been a complete rule follower, but this thread is breaking my heart.
So many people being absolutely foul and hyperbolic.

I would absolutely take him. I almost wish you hadn't asked on here as I think the usual extremists have made it even harder for you. If you asked outside MN I bet you'd get 90% saying let him go.

And as I said, I've kept to every rule. But in a few weeks he won't be expected to isolate anyway. I have so many regrets about family things missed because I stuck to the letter. I wouldn't be doing that to my seven year old at this stage.