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Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
DartmoorDoughnut · 28/01/2022 17:27

Yeah I’d let him go

Delatron · 28/01/2022 17:28

The risk outdoors is far less than indoors. That’s why we are told ventilation reduces spread. You can’t get more ventilated than sitting outdoors.

Indoors it’s close contact for more than 15 minutes. Hell people sharing beds don’t often get it when one is positive.

If this match was in 8 weeks time this wouldn’t even be an issue. And we’ll thankfully have stopped the endless testing of healthy children. And they’ll stop missing out on so much and making so many sacrifices. When most people have had 3 jabs which are highly effective at preventing severe disease.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:28

Definitely don’t go, it’s wrong and you know it. Time to teach your son about caring for the world beyond his own nose.

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 17:28

@sausagepastapot

Definitely go, definitely. Hope he has a great time!!!
clearly you are joking.
ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 28/01/2022 17:28

@PeachyPeachTrees

You say you wished you had tested him earlier (day 1) so more days had passed until now, but the fact his test today still says positive means he is still infectious so can't go out anyway. You are wrong to send him and deep down you know this.
No, you can leave isolation on day 10 even if you still have a line.
LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 17:29

@Delatron

The risk outdoors is far less than indoors. That’s why we are told ventilation reduces spread. You can’t get more ventilated than sitting outdoors.

Indoors it’s close contact for more than 15 minutes. Hell people sharing beds don’t often get it when one is positive.

If this match was in 8 weeks time this wouldn’t even be an issue. And we’ll thankfully have stopped the endless testing of healthy children. And they’ll stop missing out on so much and making so many sacrifices. When most people have had 3 jabs which are highly effective at preventing severe disease.

LESS does not mean non existent.

He would be sitting in a covered stand next to someone for 90 mins.

People have got Omicron from practically walking past someone in the street- it's that contagious.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 28/01/2022 17:29

After day 10, sorry.

Gonnagetgoing · 28/01/2022 17:30

@DontWantTheRivalry

As an aside, what a sad state of affairs when you poor son thinks he has to promise to to eat in order to go out. The damage we have inflicted on these kids is just awful.

I was so upset when he asked if he could go if he promised not to eat so he wouldn’t have to open his mouth. It was just awful. It broke my heart.

We’ve told him that if he can’t go tomorrow then DH will go out and buy lots of lovely treats for us to eat during the daytime, we’ll let him go to bed late (have a movie might) and that when we can leave the house we’ll take him to the toy shop and buy him a new game.

It didn’t make him feel any happier but there’s not much else we can say.

Honestly this sounds best. Have a movie night, lots of treats and new game.

Then you won’t be worrying if the person sat next to your son does get covid and he’ll get over it.

Can’t believe the amount of selfish idiots here who are blithely saying “let him go” like it’s a super spreader event.

Gonnagetgoing · 28/01/2022 17:31

@LadyGoddiva - it’s so infectious I’ve known loads get omicron in past 1-2 months. Scary.

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 17:31

@DontWantTheRivalry

As an aside, what a sad state of affairs when you poor son thinks he has to promise to to eat in order to go out. The damage we have inflicted on these kids is just awful.

I was so upset when he asked if he could go if he promised not to eat so he wouldn’t have to open his mouth. It was just awful. It broke my heart.

We’ve told him that if he can’t go tomorrow then DH will go out and buy lots of lovely treats for us to eat during the daytime, we’ll let him go to bed late (have a movie might) and that when we can leave the house we’ll take him to the toy shop and buy him a new game.

It didn’t make him feel any happier but there’s not much else we can say.

And you explain to him why it's the right thing to do even if it's not what he wants to do and it doesn't immediately feel fair. Explain why many people might not do the same thing and the problem if we all said "fuck it".
JMKid · 28/01/2022 17:32

Let him go irrelevant of the tests.

Belladonna12 · 28/01/2022 17:33

Have you ever been to a big football match?
It's all seated. You sit right next to someone for 90 mins.

I have been to one or two but didn't have to sit next to anyone apart from DH. I would agree that if he will have to sit next to a stranger then he shouldn't go.

And also....where do I start? - vaccines may be less effective after a few weeks AND the vaccines were for Delta not Omicron.

They are still effective against severe covid. People who are CEV won't be at crowded football matches.

Tippexy · 28/01/2022 17:34

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

Day 0 is the day of the result.

Day 1 is the first full day after.

Your husband is wrong.

Looneytune253 · 28/01/2022 17:34

Now you've said it's a football match though I think surely it's quite cramped? So there will be lots of people in very close quarters! I would say a defo no unfortunately

DiddyHeck · 28/01/2022 17:35

If his dad really can keep him socially distanced, he can wear a mask and has sanitiser, I'd let him go OP.

Unsure33 · 28/01/2022 17:35

I have been super careful and following the rules . However when you said the event was outside I think I would say let him go . Just try and be sensible and still wear a mask in pinch points .

I am at the stage now when I think it’s everywhere and we are going to be extremely lucky if we don’t get it .

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 17:35

[quote Gonnagetgoing]@LadyGoddiva - it’s so infectious I’ve known loads get omicron in past 1-2 months. Scary.[/quote]
Please keep saying this.

So many ignorant posters here. For a start they don't understand that the 3 vaccines are against DELTA and the variant at the moment is mainly Omicron.

I despair at the ignorance.

alfreddo87 · 28/01/2022 17:36

Sorry but if you don't let your son go to the football match then you are actually the worlds worst parent. Listen to DH. Let him go. Please let him go.

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 17:37

@DiddyHeck

If his dad really can keep him socially distanced, he can wear a mask and has sanitiser, I'd let him go OP.
How can he be socially distanced in a football stand where everyone sits next to each other, in a numbered seat, (like in the cinema.)

God, it's shocking how people are so clueless.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 28/01/2022 17:37

Oh @DontWantTheRivalry I am gutted for your son but you absolutely know you you should not knowingly send a covid positive child off to a crowded football match.

You are trying to justify something you know is not right by saying how important an match it is, once in a life time etc etc but it is, sadly, wrong and I think you know it.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:38

Day zero is the day your symptoms start OR the day of a positive test.

Delatron · 28/01/2022 17:38

The vaccines are still protecting against severe disease whatever the variant. They are much less effective at preventing infection that is true. They don’t wear off after a few weeks. Maybe some on here need to update their reading? There’s lots of data out there now...

Idontbelieveit14 · 28/01/2022 17:38

I personally couldn’t let him go knowing he was positive. If he was negative tomorrow then yes.

JanisMoplin · 28/01/2022 17:38

You poor thing. And your poor son. Children have suffered so much. Yes, I know this isn't an original comment.

Even a few months ago I would have said no but have just been on the Tube wt unmasked idiots coughing away. So I might let him go.

Fink · 28/01/2022 17:41

@DontWantTheRivalry

It’s to a special football match - to a ground he’ll probably never get to go to again.

I know it’s just a football match but it’s not like this opportunity will come around again. So it’s a now or never type of thing, hence why he’s so excited.

If was something he could miss out on but do again the following month then I would absolutely be saying no to take him. But to be fair, if that were the case my DH wouldn’t take him anyway.

The only reason my husband feels so strongly about it is because of what the meaning of the event means to my son and the fact that the chance won’t come up again.

So yes, although it’s outdoors he will be with a crowd of people. He’s already said he will wear a mask and not talk or sing if it means he can go. They are driving there in the car.

We are testing with just the normal tests - the NHS ones that come in a blue and white box.

As others have said, he’s on Day 7 tomorrow and he’s not had a single symptom so his chance of spreading it must be low?

I honestly don’t know what to do.

I physically can’t stop my husband from taking him.

He knows that I have huge reservations about it but his approach is to similar to a lot of the posters on here in that DS should be fine to go.

All the NHS ones come in a blue and white box, but there are different companies which provide them and different style tests. The FlowFlex ones I mentioned are part of the NHS tests, just not the only ones as a load of other companies make them too. They will say FlowFlex on the packet and be nose only, not nose and mouth.