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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:13

Op I guess there are always exceptions and errors.

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 17:14

@Belladonna12

I would let him go if he has been asymptomatic and it's outside. I doubt that there will be anyone there who is still vulnerable unless it's because they haven't got vaccinated which would be their own fault.
Have you ever been to a big football match? It's all seated. You sit right next to someone for 90 mins.

And also....where do I start? - vaccines may be less effective after a few weeks AND the vaccines were for Delta not Omicron.

Honestly, your ignorance is scary.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:14

If I had a strong positive on day 10 I wouldn’t be mixing in crowds.

HandScreen · 28/01/2022 17:15

Defo let him go

FionnulaTheCooler · 28/01/2022 17:15

Well, now that your DH has told his supporters group exactly what the situation is I hope if he does decide to take him that you are happy to deal with any consequences or fines coming your way if somebody decides to report him for breaking isolation. Blabbing it to that many people isn't the smartest move if you're planning to break the rules, however much you might disagree with them.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 17:16

As an aside, what a sad state of affairs when you poor son thinks he has to promise to to eat in order to go out. The damage we have inflicted on these kids is just awful.

I was so upset when he asked if he could go if he promised not to eat so he wouldn’t have to open his mouth. It was just awful. It broke my heart.

We’ve told him that if he can’t go tomorrow then DH will go out and buy lots of lovely treats for us to eat during the daytime, we’ll let him go to bed late (have a movie might) and that when we can leave the house we’ll take him to the toy shop and buy him a new game.

It didn’t make him feel any happier but there’s not much else we can say.

OP posts:
marqueses · 28/01/2022 17:16

[quote Benjispruce5]@marqueses I’m not hear to meet your needs funnily enough. Confused
OP the rules are not yours so you don’t need to feel bad. Explain that to your son if he’s still positive and how it would be dangerously to others to go. Explain what it is to be responsible. Then talk about a future event when things are better. That’s called parenting.[/quote]
Eh? It's a public forum and anyone can comment on any post they like, you opened the door by trying to pretend your post was sarcastic when even a mind reader would have struggled to get that.

WheekestLink · 28/01/2022 17:17

Yep let him go.

PinkPomeranian · 28/01/2022 17:17

Please don't take him out when he's still contagious, especially not to a football match where people will be singing, shouting, hugging and bunching up.

It's absolutely gutting for everyone, especially the little ones. Poor little thing.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:18

Thanks @marqueses for all the attention you are given my posts, I’m flattered.

ParadiseLaundry · 28/01/2022 17:18

I'd let him go.

gogohm · 28/01/2022 17:18

I'd let him go if he tests negative tomorrow

Overthebow · 28/01/2022 17:18

I hope if he does decide to take him that you are happy to deal with any consequences or fines coming your way if somebody decides to report him for breaking isolation

That’s a good point actually, anyone of the group could report him to the stadium if they don’t agree.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 17:19

And no, you opened the door by making a twattish comment.

Iamanicepersonreally · 28/01/2022 17:20

I think it's irresponsible to let him go. I have every sympathy with him, but he shouldn't be allowed to go.

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 17:20

Its as if everyone has forgotten that at the start of the pandemic there were lots of cases arising from outside meetings - football, horse racing, etc.

And that was with Delta, whereas Omicron is much more contagious.

Being outside is hardly relevant as if it's a national footie or rugby game (guess footie as 6 Nations is not this weekend), IT'S ALL SEATED IN STANDS.

Wearing a mask protects the wearer a bit and helps others a bit too, but by no means 100% - but sitting next to someone for 90 mins with a mask that is not fitting properly and not medical grade, it's highly likely to infect them.

I am gobsmacked at posters saying it's fine.
Take a long hard look at yourselves.

Nocutenamesleft · 28/01/2022 17:21

@DontWantTheRivalry

Is there any evidence behind the fact we’ve been told that there has to be two negative LFTs and they have to be 24 hours apart in order to leave isolation after 5 day, as opposed to just needing one negative LFT?
I had a negative test. Around day 6. Next day it was positive again. Same for my child. Negative then positive.

That’s why it needs to be two. Because human error. Or viral load etc.

TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 17:23

Glad you’ve decided to do the right thing OP.

Bazinga007 · 28/01/2022 17:23

Very selfish if you let him go. Are you preping for him joining the tory party where the rules dont apply?

PinkSyCo · 28/01/2022 17:24

Aww poor little thing. He’s been looking forward to it for so long, he sounds such a cutie and that line is fading so fast. I would let him go OP.

olivehater · 28/01/2022 17:24

Let him go. Enough punishment for our kids.

PeachyPeachTrees · 28/01/2022 17:24

You say you wished you had tested him earlier (day 1) so more days had passed until now, but the fact his test today still says positive means he is still infectious so can't go out anyway. You are wrong to send him and deep down you know this.

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 28/01/2022 17:25

We had a year 7 test positive on Monday, wed morning I walk into my class and she is sat there front row, no masks, lesson 4 of the day…. No one else had realised, I had just talked to her twin that morning who said her sister had covid.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2022 17:26

@DontWantTheRivalry

I just wish I had tested him earlier.

My DH got a positive test on a Wednesday and I got mine on a Friday and then DS got his on the Saturday because I tested him “just in case”.

I wish I had just tested him as soon as DH got his positive because this wouldn’t even be an issue then as tomorrow would be Day 10 (assuming he would have tested positive) and he would have been out of isolation anyway.

This is what gets me about the “days” issue, because if I had tested him a few days beforehand (when he was probably infected then too) he’d be allowed out the house by now, but because I didn’t he’s still isolating.

If his line is still faint tomorrow then I have accepted we’ll have to keep him home. My son and DH will be gutted and I will feel awful.

Why didn’t you test ds on the wed as that’s the advice

Test for 7 days if near a close contact

Dd4 school teacher has covid. I’m now testing 4yr every day for 7 days

So far negative

sausagepastapot · 28/01/2022 17:26

Definitely go, definitely. Hope he has a great time!!!