Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

[DontWantTheRivalry]

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

@User7698365

These Covid threads belong in the Covid section where all the Covid nutters reside

Stop bloody policing threads. It's an AIBU. You're perfectly capable of not opening it.

Op please don't let him go. My dd2 is CEV when we go out we are relying on people sticking to the rules. Which at the moment make it as safe as it can be right now.
When the rules change she will have to stay in a lot more. This is not my judgement this is her doctors advice.
If your son infected my dd tomorrow you'd never know, neither would I but that doesn't mitigate the risk or change the facts.
I am sorry for your son, but for the CEV for now the rules are helping, please stick to them.

Let him go, keep their distance and wear a mask

My dn is due to go to a match tomorrow. His first neg lft is today but either way he's going. Its outdoors. A small town stadium. Not busy.

@DontWantTheRivalry

Deciding not to intervene is still a choice to let them go. It’s not like I could “forbid” my DH from taking our child somewhere but in a situation like this we would discuss it and if I felt very strongly I could probably bring him round.

My DH won’t take him if he knows I’m really against it, but that doesn’t change the fact that I will know it was my feelings that will have prevented my son’s day from going ahead.

Just be an adult and make the difficult decision. You either intervene and be the bad guy or don't and take half the responsibility for your husband taking him

My dd is 7 and on day 6. She has been completely asymptomatic but testing positive still. The LFT picks up the viral load, if he is still positive he is still contagious

People have had to let their loved ones die alone over this, your son missing a football / rugby match ( or whatever) is hardly hard times.
LFT him, if it's negative then it's all good. If it's positive then it sounds like he is going anyway. Hope he is more conscientious than your husband and keeps his mask on.

@Benjispruce5

I can see how this thing has spread now, people who can’t let their children be disappointed so will risk the health of others to play good cop, nice.

Did it take you nearly 2 years and a random thread to realise how it spreads?

Where've you been since 2020?

I would let him go if he has been asymptomatic and it's outside. I doubt that there will be anyone there who is still vulnerable unless it's because they haven't got vaccinated which would be their own fault.

LFTs that are positive show a high amount of virus. They don’t start being positive until you have a lot in your system unlike a PCR which is more sensitive to low amounts. Don’t be ignorant and selfish, do the right thing and demonstrate being a good person to your son.

It’s not your feelings preventing him from going, if you actually do the right thing it’s the fact he’s COVID positive and could spread it to someone who may not fair as well as he has and not caring about disrupting other people’s plans if it’s passed on!

@marqueses sarcasm not crossed your path before?

@Slowfoxfast

It is heartbreaking but many children have missed all kinds of events. A match is a very crowded venue and you can't help shouting and cheering which is great for the virus. Who knows, you might be standing next to someone vulnerable or who has a vulnerable child at home.

Why would either of those two hypothetical people be at a what some think is a super-spreader event in the first place?

How different things could have been if we’d had a strong leader with clear and consistent advice throughout. This thread sums up how totally messed up this country is. OP I have no idea how you’ll make a decision with all this conflicting advice but I think deep down you’ll know the right thing to do. We all do.

OP it’s not your feelings stopping him going, it’s the law. Isolation is mandatory. That means you have to do it, regardless of what 50ish football fans or a load of mumsnetters say.

@Mama1980

Op please don't let him go. My dd2 is CEV when we go out we are relying on people sticking to the rules. Which at the moment make it as safe as it can be right now. When the rules change she will have to stay in a lot more. This is not my judgement this is her doctors advice. If your son infected my dd tomorrow you'd never know, neither would I but that doesn't mitigate the risk or change the facts. I am sorry for your son, but for the CEV for now the rules are helping, please stick to them.

I wouldn't rely on people sticking to the rules. Even if they do do some people who test negative on day 5 are probably as infectious as those who don't.

Are we still thinking if we all follow the rules (like Boris 🙄) that this will ‘stop it’ and ‘get rid of it’

Genuinely how will everyone cope when testing and isolation stops? Because the ‘rules’ have changed then your view changes? The virus doesn’t know about all our ‘rules’

[quote Benjispruce5]@marqueses sarcasm not crossed your path before?[/quote]
You'll not be surprised to hear that I am aware of sarcasm but unable to identify it in a typed post without any hint of it or indicative emoji

Your totally un-sarcastic words fooled me, well done.

I’d let him go.

Just because Boris is untrustworthy and a blatant liar, it doesn’t mean the rest of us have to be. Maybe your son can claim he didn’t realise it was a football match? Or rather you and DH can claim that as you have parental responsibility.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

I wouldn’t ask on MN tbh!

Everyone is going to say yabu on here but you need to make your own RL decision

Poor little kid “if i promise not to eat all day” 😭😭😭

Covid has been so shit for children

I was going to say similar. Do not ask that sort or question on MN, it won't go well for you.

I'd take him, it's an outside event and he's been isolating for a week anyway.

As an aside, what a sad state of affairs when you poor son thinks he has to promise to to eat in order to go out. The damage we have inflicted on these kids is just awful.

I’m finding that lft’s make no sense anyway!

I got a very faint positive yest (day 5)

A very strong positive this morning

Then a very very faint positive this afternoon!

I would let him go

LFTs that are positive show a high amount of virus. They don’t start being positive until you have a lot in your system unlike a PCR which is more sensitive to low amounts

I had a PRC test 24 hours before taking the LFT (which was a very strong positive) and the PCR came back as negative, so they can’t be that sensitive.

@marqueses I’m not hear to meet your needs funnily enough.
OP the rules are not yours so you don’t need to feel bad. Explain that to your son if he’s still positive and how it would be dangerously to others to go. Explain what it is to be responsible. Then talk about a future event when things are better. That’s called parenting.

@Benjispruce5

LFTs that are positive show a high amount of virus. They don’t start being positive until you have a lot in your system unlike a PCR which is more sensitive to low amounts. Don’t be ignorant and selfish, do the right thing and demonstrate being a good person to your son.

But you can have a strong positive on day 10 and that's OK?