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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 16:33

@SeaToSki

The guidelines in the USA are:

for asymptomatic people you can finish isolation 5 days after a positive test

They are basing that on the latest research for Omicron which apparently clears faster than Delta or Alpha

If you want to be particularly careful, you wear a proper mask (not just a cloth one) and you socially distance/stay outside as much as possible

Since the event is outside, I would let him go and have him wear a mask and pee in the bushes if you want to be extra careful.

He's going to a football match in a stadium, not a Sunday League kick about in a park. So no bushes to pee in.
CovidForChristmas · 28/01/2022 16:33

Those who leave self-isolation on or after day 6 are strongly advised to wear face coverings and limit close contact with other people in crowded or poorly ventilated spaces, work from home if they can do so and minimise contact with anyone who is at higher risk of severe illness if infected with COVID-19

This is the advice for those testing negative on 2 consecutive days.

The decision to reduce the isolation period was an economic one. It’s to get key workers back into the workplace, kids in schools and nurses in hospitals.

www.gov.uk/government/news/self-isolation-for-those-with-covid-19-can-end-after-five-full-days-following-two-negative-lfd-tests

Briarshollow · 28/01/2022 16:34

Fuck it, let him go.

BurscoughBooths · 28/01/2022 16:34

Let him go. It’s outside and it’s 7 days later, risk of infecting anyone else is slim to none

Rosiestraws · 28/01/2022 16:35

@DontWantTheRivalry

About 2/3 of the group have messaged back with the overall tone being that if DS is negative in the morning then its not a problem even though it won’t be his second negative LFT.
Sorry to point out the obvious, but I suspect the other 1/3 are very uncomfortable with it and don't think he should go... they just feel too uncomfortable to say that..
KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 16:35

@affairsofdragons

I hate all of you saying let him go. Absolutely hate you.

It has been rampaging through our primary, and while most of the children haven't been seriously ill, it's taken out most of the staff one after the other, and parents these past 3 weeks, and we've barely been able to babysit mixed classes let alone teach them.

FFS No wonder we can't get rid of it.

This.

It's all well and good saying "there have been no restrictions since July" but like you say, it's rampaging through schools and illness and the need to self isolate is seriously impacting education.

User7698365 · 28/01/2022 16:36

As an aside this should be in the Covid section.

BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 16:36

@DontWantTheRivalry could he not go to the same football match next year?

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 16:36

@Briarshollow

Fuck it, let him go.
Yeah! Fuck it! Biscuit
TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 16:37

Make sure your DH downs a few pints before he jumps in the car and shoves a lighted flare up his bum at the match. Might as well really go for it if that’s your attitude.

PattyPan · 28/01/2022 16:37

I really feel for him but no way should he go. If he is testing positive then he is infectious. I wouldn’t be able to live with the thought of what if he gives it to someone vulnerable?

BingoNinja · 28/01/2022 16:37

Let him go. Most LFTs are as useful as a chocolate fireguard anyway - you can take two in the space of an hour and get conflicting results. We need people to start taking responsibility for their own heal to again. This nonsense has to end, and life has to start again.

ChillysWaterBottle · 28/01/2022 16:38

I wouldn't and I'd be disappointed in anyone I knew who would.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 28/01/2022 16:38

I would take him. Have him wear a mask if it makes you feel better. If the government can party your son can go to an event hes waited for.

Rainbowsandstorms · 28/01/2022 16:38

Re your questions the day he got his negative lft is day zero. Lfts have a high rate of false negatives which is why two tests 24 hours apart are needed. Swabbing technique etc all play a part too. I know a few people as the lines started to fade who got a negative followed by a positive. All the people on the way into the stadium will also be exposed and people in the toilets etc. Part of bring a patent is sometimes having to say no despite it being upsetting to our children.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 16:39

I just wish I had tested him earlier.

My DH got a positive test on a Wednesday and I got mine on a Friday and then DS got his on the Saturday because I tested him “just in case”.

I wish I had just tested him as soon as DH got his positive because this wouldn’t even be an issue then as tomorrow would be Day 10 (assuming he would have tested positive) and he would have been out of isolation anyway.

This is what gets me about the “days” issue, because if I had tested him a few days beforehand (when he was probably infected then too) he’d be allowed out the house by now, but because I didn’t he’s still isolating.

If his line is still faint tomorrow then I have accepted we’ll have to keep him home. My son and DH will be gutted and I will feel awful.

OP posts:
Betsy2Heaven · 28/01/2022 16:40

Tomorrow will be Day 7 and his line is fading? As it's an outdoor event, I'd keep him in a mask and take him. I think the amount of mental damage 2 years of Covid has done to our children is being hugely underestimated and this will be yet another thing spoiled for your DS when only a few weeks most of these restrictions will be lifted anyway.

PattyPan · 28/01/2022 16:40

@BingoNinja

Let him go. Most LFTs are as useful as a chocolate fireguard anyway - you can take two in the space of an hour and get conflicting results. We need people to start taking responsibility for their own heal to again. This nonsense has to end, and life has to start again.
Ah yes, we need to make people take responsibility for not picking up a highly infectious airborne disease from infectious people wandering about Hmm
Delatron · 28/01/2022 16:40

Yes @KeepYaHeadUp it’s the isolation that’s causing the problems. That will be going soon.

And we can stop keeping healthy children indoors missing more education and physical activity. Finally a sensible approach.

marqueses · 28/01/2022 16:42

@Jaxhog

I wouldn't if he still tests positive tomorrow. But if you do let him go, please insist on frequent hand washing and a mask at least.
How will frequent hand washing stop him spreading an airborne virus?
Itsnotdeep · 28/01/2022 16:42

I'd let him go tomorrow if the LFT is negative. It'll be day 7. The test is very weak today.

Rosenborg · 28/01/2022 16:44

Oh that made me well up. Poor kid. I'd take him.

Benjispruce5 · 28/01/2022 16:45

If he’s positive then he can’t go. He might be fine but it’s other’s health he’s risking. This is the risk you take booking events during a pandemic. If he’s negative tomorrow, I’d let him go.

SilverGlassHare · 28/01/2022 16:45

@TorringtonDean

Oh good, so he’s going with 50ish other people? On a coach, is it. Lovely. You do know Omicron is highly infectious. He is seven and doesn’t need to go to a football match. Your DH is a control freak too. What’s he going to do if you say no? Ignore you? Hit you? Something like that, I’m sure.
Jesus Christ, stop trying to make out the OP’s DH is abusive! Talk about projection. You obviously have a massive bee in your bonnet but you need to take a step away from this thread because you’re just making shit up now.
Itsnotdeep · 28/01/2022 16:45

@affairsofdragons

I hate all of you saying let him go. Absolutely hate you.

It has been rampaging through our primary, and while most of the children haven't been seriously ill, it's taken out most of the staff one after the other, and parents these past 3 weeks, and we've barely been able to babysit mixed classes let alone teach them.

FFS No wonder we can't get rid of it.

My dd is very unwell with it at the moment. Half her class is off. I still think you should let him go if the test is negative tomorrow. It'll be day 7. It's an outdoor football match. It's not the same as sending your child to school with covid, or going to the theatre or sitting on a packed tube.