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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
RabbitBeaver · 28/01/2022 16:20

I wouldn’t let mine go. Positive is positive and I’d be worried about who he could spread it to. They might not be so lucky. There will be other football matches!

CovidForChristmas · 28/01/2022 16:21

It’s for a football match?
Seriously?

You/Your DH is being V unreasonable!

You say those 50 people around your child will be most at risk. What about when he uses the bathroom, or queues up for chips? Or waits to enter the ground. What about when they get asked on the gate? Is your DH going to lie in front of your son?

Awful.

Monkeybutt1 · 28/01/2022 16:21

Let him go! The kids have been through enough, we all stuck to the rules until we had a vaccine. We now have that and are still restricted. We know enough about Omicron that for the vast majority it is not dangerous. Yes there are some people for whom it can be, but I imagine the flu for them would be, yet we don't test or isolate for that. I would defo test him and tell him they are negative so he has a clear conscience and enjoys it.

TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 16:21

Ok, so one third of the group are not happy with him going. One third of 50 people is 16. So 16 people have either not commented or said don’t take him. But you are going to ignore the rules and ignore anyone against you, right? Because you can’t say no to a seven-year-old.

BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 16:22

@DontWantTheRivalry

About 2/3 of the group have messaged back with the overall tone being that if DS is negative in the morning then its not a problem even though it won’t be his second negative LFT.
That's completely different. In this case I'd say it was okay. If he's still positive then not okay. Hope the test is neg.
Leonthelobster · 28/01/2022 16:23

Omicron is absolutely everywhere. Unless you are a hermit you are going to be exposed to it. I’d let him go at this point.

Cissyandflora · 28/01/2022 16:23

The test WILL be negative.

;

minimo15 · 28/01/2022 16:23

I'd let him go

Valdes · 28/01/2022 16:24

Why do people treat this so different?

What if he had chicken pox? Would you take him out then? He may not be miserable with it but plenty of other people he could infect might be!

coralblue · 28/01/2022 16:24

The day you get the positive result is Day 0 not Day 1.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 16:24

Is there any evidence behind the fact we’ve been told that there has to be two negative LFTs and they have to be 24 hours apart in order to leave isolation after 5 day, as opposed to just needing one negative LFT?

OP posts:
User7698365 · 28/01/2022 16:26

Does anyone really think that people who don't need to test for work or school are diligently getting online and ordering tests apart from the week before Christmas.

Nosetickle · 28/01/2022 16:26

When I read your title I was like oh my goodness no! But when I read your post I can see why you’re in such a quandary. I’d be the same as you. If they can stay outside and keep socially distanced from all other people I’d be tempted to turn a blind eye and let them crack on.

PrtScn · 28/01/2022 16:28

Just let him go. Those that are high risk/vulnerable will surely not be stupid enough to go to an event with lots of people where there’s a very high probability that there will be a few people with covid (either knowingly of not). Maybe get him to wear a mask as well if you are feeling particularly guilty, but it’ll be day 7 and outdoors. Ask yourself what would Boris do? 🤣

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 28/01/2022 16:29

@User7698365

Does anyone really think that people who don't need to test for work or school are diligently getting online and ordering tests apart from the week before Christmas.
We all test when we are meeting other people not in our household. It's only polite.
CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 16:29

@DontWantTheRivalry

Is there any evidence behind the fact we’ve been told that there has to be two negative LFTs and they have to be 24 hours apart in order to leave isolation after 5 day, as opposed to just needing one negative LFT?
Does it really matter if there is? You're obviously just going to let him go regardless. Totally irresponsible.
Ihearyall · 28/01/2022 16:29

We have done everything to the letter of the law. Still wearing masks in shops etc; However, our poor children have suffered so much. I honestly feel you should let him go. It’s heartbreaking to see how much our kids are sacrificing. Let him go!

SeaToSki · 28/01/2022 16:30

The guidelines in the USA are:

for asymptomatic people you can finish isolation 5 days after a positive test

They are basing that on the latest research for Omicron which apparently clears faster than Delta or Alpha

If you want to be particularly careful, you wear a proper mask (not just a cloth one) and you socially distance/stay outside as much as possible

Since the event is outside, I would let him go and have him wear a mask and pee in the bushes if you want to be extra careful.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 28/01/2022 16:30

Yes.

"Background
Under the current testing rules, around 6% of people will be infectious when they are released from isolation on day 7 following 2 consecutive negative rapid lateral flow tests.

Once the guidance is changed to end isolation on day 6 with 2 consecutive negative rapid lateral flow results, modelling from the UK Health Security Agency shows this figure will rise to around 7%.

If you leave isolation on day 6, after 5 full days of isolation, between 20% and 30% of people are still infectious.

The percentage of those released while infectious is reduced to around 7% if people have 2 consecutive negative tests and then leave isolation from day 6."

affairsofdragons · 28/01/2022 16:30

I hate all of you saying let him go. Absolutely hate you.

It has been rampaging through our primary, and while most of the children haven't been seriously ill, it's taken out most of the staff one after the other, and parents these past 3 weeks, and we've barely been able to babysit mixed classes let alone teach them.

FFS No wonder we can't get rid of it.

RenGreen · 28/01/2022 16:31

Hi OP so I’m going to throw a spanner in the works although I imagine your DH will ignore it. My triple jabbed sister with no underlying health conditions is now really struggling with Covid. I mean I’m the CEV one and I’ve been fine. It’s likely she had omicron but it has made her oxygen levels fall and it’s likely she’ll be going into hospital.

She’s 35, slim, boosted - she really shouldn’t be reacting to Covid the way she is - your son could infect someone like her.

NorthSouthcatlady · 28/01/2022 16:32

Lots of people have missed out on stuff. In 2021 l was il on my birthday and on Christmas Day with COVID. That’s before l even get started on delays to having IVF

ToykotoLosAngeles · 28/01/2022 16:32

FFS No wonder we can't get rid of it.

We can't "get rid" of it.

Rainbowsandstorms · 28/01/2022 16:32

Really? Positive is positive. You know what the right thing to do is. The fact that he hasn’t really had symptoms and is on day 7 is irrelevant, he is still positive which means a lft is detecting that his viral load is high enough to spread it. Lfts aren’t hugely sensitive in comparison to PCRs. You’re talking about him going to a crowded place and knowingly exposing people, including some who will be at risk of serious illness or worst case death. All of our children have had a tough time recently and missed out on so much but if you go ahead it could result in a child loosing a family member. I’m so sick of hearing of people trying to justify breaking isolation. If he’s positive he shouldn’t be going anywhere.

Delatron · 28/01/2022 16:32

There’s no ‘getting rid of it’ that’s the point. Covid will circulate forever. And we’ll all keep getting exposed (and building up immunity).

Im two months we won’t even know when 30% of people have it.