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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
User7698365 · 28/01/2022 16:04

A lot of people at a football match would probably have not done a test anytime recently

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 28/01/2022 16:04

For all the pearl clutching….how many kids do you think are walking around currently asymptomatic with no idea because parents aren’t enforcing LFTs?

I’d like to hazard a guess that only 25-30% of school age kids are taking regular LFTs.

Figgygal · 28/01/2022 16:04

Positive is Positive
No i wouldnt let him go

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 16:04

@PupInAPram

For those PP saying cev people can't make an informed decision because they assume people positive on day 6 will isolate, surely you would have to assume that going to a match if cev is going to be high risk from folk who haven't tested and are asymptomatic, and make their decisions on that basis?
Taking this to an extreme, can you seriously not tell the difference between an event full of people testing negative and an event full of people testing positive and how that might affect someone's risk assessment?
Monkey2001 · 28/01/2022 16:05

I don't know which way round you mean us to use YANBU and YABU but I would let him go but he could wear a mask.

ViceLikeBlip · 28/01/2022 16:06

I wouldn't my 7yo to feel guilty. So I'd do a test, tell him it was negative and let him go and enjoy himself.

nanabow · 28/01/2022 16:08

Now I've read it's a football match I change my mind. Definitely not, especially with lines that dark.

It may be outside but it'll be pretty crowded and is likely to involve some time inside to get into the stands.

From your original post I had visions of something completely outside were you can truly distance. Like rally racing at a track that's miles long and they can go to a quiet spot.

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 16:08

@User7698365

Most people don't bother testing anyway, the only people I know that are doing the asymptomatic testing are those with DC. I am retired and have never tested as never had symptoms, I'm sure I'm not alone in that.
My parents and PIL regularly test, as do all my friends parents before and event or meet up. My own friends (with or without DC) also regularly test, for events, for work, because they have symptoms or have been close contacts. It's really amazing so few people you know aren't testing and I'm really surprised you've never tested. I imagine you're in a minority
Delatron · 28/01/2022 16:09

I’d let him go. Considering this wouldn’t be an issue in a few months time. It’s outdoors and he’s past peak infectious period. He’s well and won’t be coughing and sneezing everywhere. Maybe he can wear a buff or a mask.

Kids have missed out on so much. Poor things

Tana433 · 28/01/2022 16:10

Of course he should go.

Leftbutcameback · 28/01/2022 16:10

Why wouod you think people who are CEV wouldn't go to football @turkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek? That's so bizarre

Delatron · 28/01/2022 16:10

Plenty of people don’t test. My parents never tested. They didn’t even have any tests. My brother had to take some over.

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 16:11

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam

For all the pearl clutching….how many kids do you think are walking around currently asymptomatic with no idea because parents aren’t enforcing LFTs?

I’d like to hazard a guess that only 25-30% of school age kids are taking regular LFTs.

It's not a race to the bottom. They should be testing if they were remotely fussed about their child's education or that of their children's peers. Learning in schools in massively disrupted (including extra curricular activities) because of the number of absences. My DS's loved teacher has long covid and is currently only able to work half days after a long period off ill with covid. Just bloody test twice a week, it's not difficult.
Firesidefox · 28/01/2022 16:11

I'd let him go

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 16:12

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam

For all the pearl clutching….how many kids do you think are walking around currently asymptomatic with no idea because parents aren’t enforcing LFTs?

I’d like to hazard a guess that only 25-30% of school age kids are taking regular LFTs.

Oh do stop this silly pearl clutching dig.

It's not morally right to allow a child who is positive to sit next to someone for almost 2 hours.

People who do not test their child when they should are wrong.
People who allow a child testing positive to mix with others are wrong.

I couldn't sleep at night if I thought my kid might have infected someone, knowing they had Covid.

This should have been nipped in the bud days ago.

The OP and her DH sound weak and their son is suffering from their own lack of decision making.

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 16:12

@Delatron

Plenty of people don’t test. My parents never tested. They didn’t even have any tests. My brother had to take some over.
Jolly good. Do they want medals?
TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 16:13

Yep and I’m sure you don’t mind your DH driving after “just a few” drinks, either? Maybe dabble with cannabis or coke? Seems like the law means nothing to you.

Worried234 · 28/01/2022 16:13

Let him go

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 16:13

@Delatron

Plenty of people don’t test. My parents never tested. They didn’t even have any tests. My brother had to take some over.
"Plenty of people" = your parents.

What is the excuse for not testing? Then being surprised we're in and out of restrictions? Just. Bloody. Test.

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 28/01/2022 16:14

I am testing mine. That’s how come my ds2 is currently isolating with asymptomatic covid.

I just know from conversations with parents that most aren’t

Picklesandbeans · 28/01/2022 16:14

I'd let him go. It's been so tough on the kids and honestly by March theres no isolation so go and enjoy it!

Blossomtoes · 28/01/2022 16:17

it's really amazing so few people you know aren't testing and I'm really surprised you've never tested. I imagine you're in a minority

I doubt it. It seems to be mainly people with school age kids who test regularly.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 16:18

About 2/3 of the group have messaged back with the overall tone being that if DS is negative in the morning then its not a problem even though it won’t be his second negative LFT.

OP posts:
Delatron · 28/01/2022 16:18

@KeepYaHeadUp testing is winding down now. So no, I don’t need to test. Travelling abroad next week and don’t need to test now to get on the plane.

In 2 months hardly anybody will be testing. Thank god. Maybe we’ll stop isolating and punishing perfectly healthy children too.

I know that’s very hard for many to get their heads round...

Delatron · 28/01/2022 16:19

And we’re not in and out of restrictions and haven’t been since July.

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