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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Rivermonsters · 28/01/2022 15:53

@Thebodyshopolive good gosh why tf has he done that? If he’s gonna go out at least be hush hush about it…

Cissyandflora · 28/01/2022 15:54

Yes let him go. The rules will change soon anyway. Just let him enjoy it and wear a mask. Poor boy.
It’s hard to know what to do but in this case I’d take him and not think too much about it.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 28/01/2022 15:54

@TorringtonDean

Oh good, so he’s going with 50ish other people? On a coach, is it. Lovely. You do know Omicron is highly infectious. He is seven and doesn’t need to go to a football match. Your DH is a control freak too. What’s he going to do if you say no? Ignore you? Hit you? Something like that, I’m sure.
The OP has already said they’ll be driving.
PupInAPram · 28/01/2022 15:55

For those PP saying cev people can't make an informed decision because they assume people positive on day 6 will isolate, surely you would have to assume that going to a match if cev is going to be high risk from folk who haven't tested and are asymptomatic, and make their decisions on that basis?

Cissyandflora · 28/01/2022 15:55

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

Rookie error

He takes him and says nothing. That’s the rules.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 15:56

Why is he doing that? If one person objects will he decide not to go? Why does their view matter more than yours?

He said he wants to do right by them as they’re potentially the people our son will be sitting next to. I told him that one of the reasons I don’t feel right about it is because of the deception, the people he will be around not knowing etc so my DH said he will let them know of the circumstances.

I suppose if they aren’t fussed then it means my husband won’t feel as conflicted.

OP posts:
changingstages · 28/01/2022 15:57

day 0 is the day you take the test, day 1 is the next day.

Please don't let him go. I know it's shit. We were in the same situation last week with my DD and it was miserable (though she was too ill to have even thought about leaving the house, which in some ways does make it easier). But as it stands, we still have testing, we still have isolation, so your choice - sending him KNOWING he's positive - has the potential to screw up lots of other people's weeks/months too. More kids having to isolate, more people off work, lost earnings etc. Not to mention the absolute shitness of having Covid if you DO get bad symptoms.

You're trying to convince yourself it's ok, and it's not. It's really not.

Leftbutcameback · 28/01/2022 15:57

What type of outdoor event? (No details obvs). Football is outdoors but still very close together and is where I caught covid I think. Standing in the open watching say golf, or birdwatching, or rallying, is very different.

Rivermonsters · 28/01/2022 15:57

@DontWantTheRivalry I know I’m far from clever but has he been leaking brain cells?

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2022 15:57

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

Day 0 is test day

Day after is day 1

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 15:58

Oh good, so he’s going with 50ish other people? On a coach, is it. Lovely. You do know Omicron is highly infectious.

Normally they go on a coach but DH has said he will drive to the match to reduce the risk and he’ll just meet them there at the match. A lot of them all tend to sit with each other at the Ground.

OP posts:
TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 28/01/2022 15:59

@enjoyingscience

Outdoors and not much close contact, I’d let him go. Honestly, there will be a dozen other people there with it who don’t know about it and will be more contagious than he is on day 6.
^^ THIS and I am CEV. Anyone there who feels at all vunerable will have a mask on. But I can't imagine that anyone there will be CEV. Also, tell the poor soul that he can eat and drink. I hope that he and his Dad have a great day, and that they go with Mum's blessing. In fact I like what a pp said, tell him he's negative, even if he isn't!
CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 15:59

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

Your DH is a knob. And plenty of the people in that group will think the same.

Fancy asking a group of 50 people if they think it's ok to take his Covid-positive son to a football match. What do you really think will happen?

Hopefully it means he won't be going now as at least one person will have the balls to tell him he's being ridiculous. Especially as he won't listen to you.

Oh and test day is day zero which has already been pointed out.

Leftbutcameback · 28/01/2022 15:59

Sorry - just seen it is football. I would say no then, sorry

Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 15:59

You starting a thread on an anonymous forum for views

Your DH asking the large group he’s going with for views

FGS your the parents

Just parent

Valdes · 28/01/2022 16:00

Honestly. So your DC being upset about missing a football match is worse than a kid or adult who is vulnerable catching covid from your DS?

We really have forgotten about joint responsibility and trying to look after each other haven't we Sad

BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 16:00

What type of special football match is it that the chance won't come round again? Will they not play each other again next year?

SallyWD · 28/01/2022 16:01

What a dilemma! I wouldn't let my child go. However if you do he really must wear a mask and sanitise his hands A LOT.

Leftbutcameback · 28/01/2022 16:01

It's also not all outside - queuing for food, loos etc at half time is very busy in the concourses.

User7698365 · 28/01/2022 16:01

Most people don't bother testing anyway, the only people I know that are doing the asymptomatic testing are those with DC. I am retired and have never tested as never had symptoms, I'm sure I'm not alone in that.

Borderterrierpuppy · 28/01/2022 16:01

Let him go, keep a mask on when near others x

littlefireseverywhere · 28/01/2022 16:02

I’d let him go xx

SallyWD · 28/01/2022 16:03

Just seen it's a football match. Even more reason not to go - I'm sure there will be plenty of other opportunities to go to matches in the future. I imagined it was a one off event that would never be repeated.

ANameChangeAgain · 28/01/2022 16:03

For the record I would let him go too. Everyone he is with is protected by the vaccined anyway, I don't believe for a second there won't be others on the coach who are unwitting positives as Covid is "out there".

curiouscatgotkilled · 28/01/2022 16:03

Let him go! the children have missed out on so much.

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