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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Lemonata · 28/01/2022 15:41

If you let him go then just make sure he wears a high quality mask all day and sanitises his hands regularly (even if he hasn’t been wearing one so far, he’ll probably agree if it means getting to go!).

I’ve followed the rules rigidly so far, and even spent over a year being very ill from long covid, but I’ve had enough now and I’d just take him. If it’s a big event then there’s bound to be other positive cases there anyway.

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 15:42

OP can you imagine in a week or two, an 80 year old gran or grandma dying from Covid and someone saying 'I bet it was that fucking kid they sat next to at the footie.'

Or someone with cancer, who saw the match as a rare, longed for treat and became very ill (but assumed they were safe as no one knowingly with Covid would be there sitting next to them.)

CorneliusVetch · 28/01/2022 15:43

@Gilda152 wait, what indeed, as I have said neither that it was morally ok to go nor that everyone was safe at that event

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 28/01/2022 15:43

@LadyGoddiva

Or it’s from the 2/3rds of people who have no symptoms and don’t test

CityMumma78 · 28/01/2022 15:44

I would let him go!

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 15:44

@BoredatHome321

What football match is it for it to never happen again? Yes, they may be outside but you're basically touching the person next to you 90% of the time.
Yes, WHICH FOOTIE MATCH IS IT SO WE CAN ALL WARN OUR LOVED ONES NOT TO GO! Angry
LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 15:46

[quote OnceuponaRainbow18]@LadyGoddiva

Or it’s from the 2/3rds of people who have no symptoms and don’t test[/quote]
Two wrongs do not make a right.

This is someone who KNOWS they are positive.

You can't morally say it's right.

BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 15:46

@LadyGoddiva hahaha. True but I'm genuinely curious as most football matches happen the year after so unsure how it "won't happen again". Happy to be told I'm wrong though .

nongnangning · 28/01/2022 15:47

@gilda152 I'm merely appreciating @corneliusvetch's wide perspective

I think we are all doing the OP's DH's moral housework here, whilst he sails off to a football match oblivious.

Original poster
DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 15:47

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

OP posts:
Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 15:47

@LadyGoddiva

OP can you imagine in a week or two, an 80 year old gran or grandma dying from Covid and someone saying 'I bet it was that fucking kid they sat next to at the footie.'

Or someone with cancer, who saw the match as a rare, longed for treat and became very ill (but assumed they were safe as no one knowingly with Covid would be there sitting next to them.)

These people are vulnerable due to health

Why should they always get priority over those not vulnerable

If a highly vulnerable person is attending a football match - then they’re not that vulnerable or they’re taking a risk, so…

Poole14 · 28/01/2022 15:47

I personally wouldn’t let him go if it was a crowded in door event just because I’d be gutted if it was because of me someone vulnerable got sick. If it was to the park or somewhere outdoors and airy then I probably would yes. But it’s entirely up to you and no judgements here. X

Thebodyshopolive · 28/01/2022 15:47

I'd let him go. I do think by now we know there will likely be loads of infected people there anyhow who just don't know they are. If I was CEV and very anxious I wouldn't be going to a crowded place tbh.

As for all the hard lessons in life lot, he's 7 for god's sake, probably had a horrible past two years. Hope he has a great time with his Dad, everything crossed he's negative tomorrow.and then won't be a quandary.

Topseyt · 28/01/2022 15:47

@LadyGoddiva

I am well aware that asymptomatic people spread it, thanks.

Colds and flu can also be spread asymptomatically and can be just as serious on vulnerable people. We don't test for those. If ill we stay at home (or should) and if well we go about our business.

We need to start treating Covid similarly. I will be, whatever anyone else thinks. It isn't going anywhere and the current hysteria is unsustainable.

Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 15:47

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

That is a very foolish idea
Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 15:48

You am your dh make the decision re your son

You don’t drag others in to your parenting decisions

Rivermonsters · 28/01/2022 15:48

If he still tests pos then don’t go. If it’s a sport match then he can always go at a later date. I had my 17th and summer holidays ruined because of campylobacter, you can always do nice things later. Plus he’s only little so he will probs forget

Boomboomackalackalackaboom · 28/01/2022 15:49

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

That is day 0.
Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….
KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 15:50

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’ve just spoken to DH again and he said that Day 1 is the day you get the LFT result, whereas I thought ‘Day 1’ was the day following the result.

Does anyone know if this is the case?

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

Why is he doing that? If one person objects will he decide not to go? Why does their view matter more than yours?
Thebodyshopolive · 28/01/2022 15:50

OP can you imagine in a week or two, an 80 year old gran or grandma dying from Covid and someone saying 'I bet it was that fucking kid they sat next to at the footie.'

Dear god. Or maybe their last words might be, thank God I went to that wonderful football match and had such a great time with a full crowd during my last week on earth ....

MrsJBaptiste · 28/01/2022 15:50

Let them go!!!

Honestly Covid is mostly so mild now (unless you're not vaccinated but that's another thread...) and it's a case of when we get it, no if we get it.

I always count Day 1 from the positive test so surely he's nearly past that day now anyway?

Nomicron · 28/01/2022 15:52

Let him go. There will be plenty of people deliberately not testing so that they don’t miss out. If you hadn’t tested you wouldn’t know he had it.
Just tell him his test is negative

Thebodyshopolive · 28/01/2022 15:52

My husband is contacting the group of people they go with (it’s a big supporter group of 50ish other fans) to get their take on it….

Now that I wouldn't have done, he's opened a huge can of worms now....

Even if a few object then what? If someone catches it guess who gets the blame? That was definitely a duff move ..

Fl0w3ry · 28/01/2022 15:52

That’s a really difficult decision. Especially because you know he is positive. A lot of people will be at the match knowing they have covid though and also some asymptomatic and not knowing. I would have been hardline up until recently and said don’t let him go. But times are changing, they are saying people won’t isolate at all after March and it’s pretty clear everyone is going to get covid at some point. This isn’t going away. I think now I would let him go to it. Especially because he is asymptomatic and the line is very faint now. I think your husband and son will look back in resentment if you step in the way.

TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 15:53

Oh good, so he’s going with 50ish other people? On a coach, is it. Lovely. You do know Omicron is highly infectious. He is seven and doesn’t need to go to a football match. Your DH is a control freak too. What’s he going to do if you say no? Ignore you? Hit you? Something like that, I’m sure.