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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 15:26

@NuttyinNotts

Do you want to raise him to believe that it's ok to break rules for keeping people safe if they are inconvenient? This is about more than the risk to others that you would he causing, it's also about the moral education of your child. One might wonder what our Prime Minister's parents would have done in this situation...
This is another great point. It's shit and kids have had a shit time, but it's also an important opportunity to learn what it really means to take action/make decisions which are hard for you but help others around you. What will he learn from this?
Devo1818 · 28/01/2022 15:26

@CarrieBlue

I really hope I’m not going to the same event. So selfish.
Whatever event it is your going to, I can assure you there will be people there with Covid.
cherrypie66 · 28/01/2022 15:26

Let him go

Tara336 · 28/01/2022 15:27

My husband caught COVID we think very likely at a football match as it was the only place he’d been within that timeframe, he was really ill, he then passed it to me and I am immune suppressed and clinically vulnerable, I was very ill and it caused an MS relapse, I am still suffering 2 months later. It may well be whoever gave it to my DH didn’t know they had it or it’s possible they did and didn’t think they would do any harm going to the match while positive. Either way I’m still paying the price. So sorry but unless your son is negative he should not go.

Suzanne999 · 28/01/2022 15:28

I’d let him go. He could wear a face mask and it’s outside. Know you shouldn’t but how long can we go on living like this ?

SilverGlassHare · 28/01/2022 15:29

Let him go for god’s sake. We’ve asked far too much of our children in this pandemic. If he was coughing loads on the first day of testing positive it would be different, in my eyes.

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 15:29

@Pointswesthelpplease

For everyone saying it's wrong to go out, cev children at risk, etc. What are you going to do when isolation ends? How do you cope with more deadly viruses like flu?
They'll be able to make an informed decision, not one that's based on thinking people are following one rule when they're actually ignoring them.
Gilda152 · 28/01/2022 15:29

"People who have already given up so much to contain a disease which poses little threat to them get no thanks for what they have done, just judgment and grief for querying whether a particular sacrifice is proportionate." = emotive hyperbole

Anyway. to the other poster, Corvid something or other? What has not testing when you feel well got to do with testing positive and observing isolation, in this case?

Literally nothing, I think.

The dilemma isn't who should test and when it's should you go out and mix with others if you're knowingly positive.

I myself started to feel unwell on New Years Day. I took a test, it was positive. I entered my details etc etc answered the T & T questions and it was determined that I had contracted it between 27th-30th December. (from a train station platform outdoors most likely) I had been out, mixing with several other people on NYE. Had I known then I was positive would I have still gone out and mixed with people and think well, fuck em, I've not been out for a while? Absolutely not. Of COURSE not.

Topseyt · 28/01/2022 15:29

Oh blimey, just let him go, and stop testing a perfectly well child who has no symptoms.

All of this hysteria needs to end. He can wear a mask if that makes you feel better, but let the poor lad go!

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 15:29

Of course he shouldn't go.

He will be using toilets.

He will be sitting next to someone.
That person could be elderly or have a health issue.

I don't know how you could live with yourself if there was the remotest chance he could pass it on and someone died or was very ill from it.

Of course you would never know, but it is always going to be possible.

And all for a bloody footie match.

He's 7.

He's got decades ahead to see more matches.

Lovemusic33 · 28/01/2022 15:30

I think you should have told ds days ago that he wouldn’t be going, leaving it until the last minute to decide just seems silly and poor ds is going to feel more upset. Could you test him again later today in hope it’s negative? I think if he’s testing post it I’ve it would be silly to go, it’s likely he will be sat/stood near people? Not as though he can socially distance from others?

LadyGoddiva · 28/01/2022 15:30

@Topseyt

Oh blimey, just let him go, and stop testing a perfectly well child who has no symptoms.

All of this hysteria needs to end. He can wear a mask if that makes you feel better, but let the poor lad go!

Perfectly well, but with Covid.

You couldn't make it up, could you.

Have you got through 2 years without learning that asymptomatic people spread it?

He might be well, but what about the person he could infect?

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 15:31

It's vital to raise children to question rules and use their own judgement on when to break them. We live under a government that has has nothing but contempt for the general public, and 'respect for authority' is dangerous.

Agree with the first part of this but the govt had fuck all to do witn this. It's about respect for other people, not the govt

nongnangning · 28/01/2022 15:33

@CorneliusVetch
I am so bloody sick of the self righteous Covid brigade acting like infecting someone else with Covid is the only thing we do which has an adverse effect on the lives of others, oblivious to the fact that eg half the totally unnecessary products in their house were made in a sweat shop or have a massive carbon footprint, contributing to real hardship in many developing nations. They can’t be arsed to spend an extra 30 seconds checking if their coffee is fair trade but the OP is selfish because she has asked if her son can attend an event where he is but one Covid positive person among many.
Well said.

TorringtonDean · 28/01/2022 15:34

Don’t parents enforce boundaries any more? Life is about sometimes having to put up with disappointments. It’s a great lesson for kids.

user1481050140 · 28/01/2022 15:35

Totally take with without a minutes hesitation..! xx Poor little thing xx

Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 15:35

Wave him off op
I wouldn’t hesitate

Toanewstart22 · 28/01/2022 15:36

@TorringtonDean

Don’t parents enforce boundaries any more? Life is about sometimes having to put up with disappointments. It’s a great lesson for kids.
Blah blah blah
Gilda152 · 28/01/2022 15:36

[quote nongnangning]@CorneliusVetch
I am so bloody sick of the self righteous Covid brigade acting like infecting someone else with Covid is the only thing we do which has an adverse effect on the lives of others, oblivious to the fact that eg half the totally unnecessary products in their house were made in a sweat shop or have a massive carbon footprint, contributing to real hardship in many developing nations. They can’t be arsed to spend an extra 30 seconds checking if their coffee is fair trade but the OP is selfish because she has asked if her son can attend an event where he is but one Covid positive person among many.
Well said.[/quote]
Got it. So as long as there is more than one person at an event carrying a deadly virus we're all morally good and definitely all safe....wait, what?

Wizzbangfizz · 28/01/2022 15:36

I'd let him go without hesitation.

Jaxhog · 28/01/2022 15:36

I wouldn't if he still tests positive tomorrow. But if you do let him go, please insist on frequent hand washing and a mask at least.

Rivermonsters · 28/01/2022 15:37

Let him go. I’m sure it’ll be ok

KeepYaHeadUp · 28/01/2022 15:39

People go to these events knowing there is a risk but not knowing that they will definitely come into contact with some selfish twat who has decided their need to be out trumps everything

This

CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 15:40

@Rivermonsters

Let him go. I’m sure it’ll be ok
Sorry but PMSL. You're sure it'll be ok? So he's infectious but you're sure he won't infect anyone? Ok.
BoredatHome321 · 28/01/2022 15:41

What football match is it for it to never happen again? Yes, they may be outside but you're basically touching the person next to you 90% of the time.