Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
NeedAHoliday2021 · 28/01/2022 14:48

I wouldn’t. We have missed theatre trips and a holiday to see family abroad. The fact you would consider knowingly putting others at risk by taking dc out while contagious is something I found odd and presumably you’d be teaching dc to lie in order to do this. But lots of people will say it’s fine because humans are selfish and that will make you feel justified.

CornishGem1975 · 28/01/2022 14:49

@rainbowandglitter

I wouldn't let him go. You would be knowingly sending a child with a contagious infectious disease out to event where there'll be loads of other people. It's not just a secluded walk outside, there will be many people there. What if he had chicken pox, surely you'd isolate him then too? What's the difference?
You would only isolate with chickenpox until the infectious period is over, not until it's all cleared up and gone away. As others have said, regardless of a positive test, he's unlikely to be infectious now.
LeSquigh · 28/01/2022 14:50

Let him go

Clarefromwork · 28/01/2022 14:50

You wouldn’t have known he had it had your husband not been poorly - lots of asymptotic people will probably be there.
I would let him go, I think you would regret not letting him go.
Would feel ok wearing a mask?

Needmoresleep · 28/01/2022 14:52

Let him go. Lat flow test results are so inaccurate. DD came home for Christmas straight from a hospital where COVID was rife. Negative lat flows but a positive PCR. Two days of symptoms and a positive lat flow. She then had two negative tests so was free to go. Except she took a further test about four days later as she was due to see grandparents. Positive!

I tested negative throughout, although I felt a bit under the weather for a couple of days. It didn’t matter as we were isolating with DD. However since then I have had a return, albeit mildly, of the long COVID symptoms I had 18months ago and which then lasted 9 months.

The chances of him infecting some who then becomes very ill are small. He almost certainly is not infectious. There will be other people there who do not realise they are infectious.

Let him go….wearing a mask.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 28/01/2022 14:53

Yep go. 200%
I don’t think many parents would stop their child going. Tbh I don’t know many parents that are still testing!

PT2022 · 28/01/2022 14:53

I would follow the rules. Aside from your moral obligations.

Your son is 7. Imagine he tells a friend then that kids parents stop him hanging out with your kid forever. It could go round your school. He might never be invited to another birthday party etc.

TillyTopper · 28/01/2022 14:53

He'll be negative in the morning won't he? If so no issue.

Nocutenamesleft · 28/01/2022 14:54

@Finallygotme

Absolutely. Our lives revolve around keeping safe and have done for years. Because not just with covid. But other illnesses like sickness bugs. The people I know and hang around with now do respect me and my illness. They know to stay home. Otherwise we don’t go out much with flu season. Flu put me into ICU a few years ago too.

But me and my child are more than happy to take one for the team as such and stay home. We have too. Others think that we are worthy of having a life and so that’s what we do.

skippy67 · 28/01/2022 14:54

Let him go. Not sure why you tested him when he had no symptoms anyway.

Valdes · 28/01/2022 14:54

Please don't. I understand how hard this is for your DS but at least he's been well with no symptoms. If he infects another child who is more vulnerable, they could have a really rough time with it.

Gilda152 · 28/01/2022 14:54

It's very simple.

Going out and about not knowing you have it - understandable

Going out and about knowing you have it - morally wrong.

I'm not sure who can't get their head around that. But what has become clear is that there is a quite large proportion of the MN 'community' that is scarily morally fucking derelict. And these people are given advice to other people on how to behave.

User764832 · 28/01/2022 14:55

I personally wouldn't have bothered posting on here OP. you always get people screaming I NEARLY DIED.

Gilda152 · 28/01/2022 14:55

Ring any bells 🤔

Notsandwiches · 28/01/2022 14:55

Just tell yourself it's a works do and do what you want.

Gilda152 · 28/01/2022 14:56

@User764832

I personally wouldn't have bothered posting on here OP. you always get people screaming I NEARLY DIED.
Quite. Its a tiny, unimportant consideration, acting for the good as a part of wider society isn't it 🙄
Butteryflakycrust83 · 28/01/2022 14:58

@User764832

I personally wouldn't have bothered posting on here OP. you always get people screaming I NEARLY DIED.
Yeah, hate it when people who almost died have an opinion on someone knowingly spreading a contagious disease.
marqueses · 28/01/2022 15:01

@Notsandwiches

Just tell yourself it's a works do and do what you want.
I really hope this type of comment isn't going to drag on and on and on like the eye test ones did.

We all know the Downing St parties were wrong, do we need to keep referencing them?

It doesn't even make sense, why would anyone who thinks isolation is required change their view because some politicians broke the rules Confused

Hb12 · 28/01/2022 15:01

I'd let him

User8721643839 · 28/01/2022 15:01

Let him go, but, he may drop you in it accidentally....

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/01/2022 15:02

I’m glad to see the consensus isn’t as I expected, and most people are saying to take him

Fink · 28/01/2022 15:02

@DontWantTheRivalry

This first image is the first test we took last Saturday (based on me and DH being positive) and the other image is the test I’ve just done now.

The tests we’ve been doing throughout the week have all looked the same as the image of his first positive.

I’m genuinely surprised that the line of the test we’ve just done has faded so much in just 8 hours.

Mine didn't fade at all, just went from full on positive one day to no line the next.

Watch out if you've got the Flowflex tests (short, fatter, swab, nose only) as opposed to the nose & mouth longer swab ones - there's been a lot of reports that Flowflex come up with a faint positive a long time after other LFTs and PCRs.

CovidCorvid · 28/01/2022 15:03

@Gilda152

It's very simple.

Going out and about not knowing you have it - understandable

Going out and about knowing you have it - morally wrong.

I'm not sure who can't get their head around that. But what has become clear is that there is a quite large proportion of the MN 'community' that is scarily morally fucking derelict. And these people are given advice to other people on how to behave.

Which is probably why it's best not bothering testing if you feel well.
Hellolittlestar · 28/01/2022 15:03

Your son isn’t infectious anymore.

saraclara · 28/01/2022 15:04

He's less risk to people than those wandering around asymptomatically with no mask on.

By tomorrow he's very unlikely to be shedding the virus.AND he'll be outdoors AND he'll be masked.
I've probably been at more at risk from randoms at the shopping centre this morning, than I would be from him.