Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

[DontWantTheRivalry]

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

I nearly died from covid

Because someone did the exact same thing and sent their child in with symptoms.

So they nearly left my kids without a mother because of selfish people.

It was outside too. It ripped through our family.

I despise people who refuse to think of others.

I’m horrified of the people who think this is ok!

My 7 yr old is CEV. I can’t take her to things like this because I don’t trust people and that’s so sad.

@EarringsandLipstick you're not very sorry about my dad,why would you be, you didn't know him.

But if you were at all empathetic to the £150k families who have lost someone then you would have left it at "I'm sorry about your dad" and not felt the need to argue for positive people to go knowingly into public spaces.

@ArchibaldsDaddy

OK…maybe you and your family have been asymptomatic, but not everyone else is.

Unless any of you are expert virologists, you need to follow not only the guidance - but the law.

Covid and what it’s stopped us doing has been crap for everyone - but given how contagious the current variant is, your DS might just pass it on to someone who becomes really ill.

The fact you’re having to even ask in here baffles me. Even the thought of it is selfish in the extreme.

It could also be argued that it's incredibly selfish to prevent people who are perfectly well from going about and living their normal lives. Why is one person's freedom worth more than another's?

We can argue until we are blue in the face that we could go out and infect someone that is CEV but if you are really CEV then while the rates are so high and it's so contagious, wouldn't you CHOOSE to put your own health first and stay the fuck at home? Yes, it's disappointing for the CEV person to have to miss out because of other people - but then it's disappointing that so many perfectly fit and healthy people have had to miss out on other stuff to protect others...

As he’s positive and it’s unlikely the rest of the event goers will feel the need to wear a mask, you know, because they are expecting people who test positive to STAY HOME, no - he should not be going. Not sure why it’s a quandary at all.

Researchers found when a person coughs outdoors, wind flowing in the same direction can propel the Covid-19, cold and other viruses faster over longer distances than in calm conditions.

”Overall, the study highlights increased chances of infection in the presence of even a light breeze,” he added.

Simulations in the study show even a light breeze of about 5mph extends the distance required for effective social distancing by around 20 per cent, from 3ft-6ft to 3.6ft-7.2ft, depending on cough strength. At 9mph-11mph, spreading of the virus increases by more than a third, meanwhile.
inews.co.uk/news/health/covid-mask-wearing-outdoors-cuts-risk-catching-covid-cold-windy-research-scientists-1245339

@Nocutenamesleft

I nearly died from covid

Because someone did the exact same thing and sent their child in with symptoms.

So they nearly left my kids without a mother because of selfish people.

It was outside too. It ripped through our family.

I despise people who refuse to think of others.

I’m horrified of the people who think this is ok!

My 7 yr old is CEV. I can’t take her to things like this because I don’t trust people and that’s so sad.

You could have caught it anywhere, just stay at home if you don't want to catch it.

@Whistleforthechoir

*It's manipulations like this that have to stop.

Stop trying to guilt trip this woman. Before covid, did you ever consider not going out if you had a normal cold which could be equally dangerous to a vulnerable person in the middle of chemo? Of course you didn't. But now you thing you're at risk the whole country has to stop living for goodness knows how long.

The irony is that you're sat smugly behind your computer screen feeling superior to the OP whilst imo you're more selfish than she is hmm*

I did actually, I didn't go out or go to work with a bad cold and I've always carried sanitiser because I always suffered badly enough I didn't want other people suffering the same.

Also: ODFO. I'm delighted you are privileged enough with your health that you can be so flippant. Unfortunately, this is not the case for myself or my baby DD. And the most selfish thing someone can do is move within the community while knowing they are positive and still within the seven days of their infection with covid.

You know what the right thing to do is, but I doubt you’ll do it. 🙄

@DontWantTheRivalry

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

The whole point of isolating is to protect others. He may be devastated to miss the event but if he passes the virus on while there, imagine how devastated the family of the person who ends up in hospital or dies will be. Yes, that’s worst case scenario but you have a responsibility to show your child the bigger picture and teach them how to be a responsible and caring citizen.

The "I'm alright jack" vibe of this thread is actually vile.

[quote TheMerrickBoy]@Blondeshavemorefun yes actually it does matter if it's outdoors. That's why all the focus on indoor socialising, ventilation, etc. It makes a huge difference.[/quote]
Then why aren’t you allowed to go out to the park. For a walk. Cycle ride , take dog for a walk etc when isolating

Or even outdoor concerts football matches etc

Yes one day we won’t have to isolate probably and has gone from 14 to 10 to 7 if 2 neg of tests 24hrs apart on 6&7

But at the moment we do

Coo I hope Boris is not reading this thread and thinking 'phew I'm safe, the modern-day Women's Institute of Mumsnet thinks its OK to break the rules if it seems like a grey area'.

Carrie Symons, I see you - please convey to the gert big lump that, yes, we are all tired of regulations, that the specific moral dilemma on this thread is a little kid not an adult (otherwise we would all be saying 'stay home, sorry') and - crucially - that the OP and PPs are not the Prime Minister, ordering us to do one thing and then doing another, whilst eating a cake!

@Whistleforthechoir

I'd definitely let him go. 2 years of crap out of the few years the poor boy has been on this earth. This nonsense has to stop. He has no symptoms, he'd be more ill if he had a cold. If you hadn't tested an asymptomatic person you'd be none the wiser and the poor lad wouldn't be in this position.

Please don't take any more from your son. Anyone who is vulnerable should have had their vaccines. We need to start taking responsibility for ourselves and our own health.

Oh, and you'll get a bunch on here who never want this to end. Please don't listen

I’ve had 4 vaccines

I still nearly died. My 7 yr old who is CEV can’t have vaccines. So do they stay in for 2 years?

@Nocutenamesleft

I nearly died from covid

Because someone did the exact same thing and sent their child in with symptoms.

So they nearly left my kids without a mother because of selfish people.

It was outside too. It ripped through our family.

I despise people who refuse to think of others.

I’m horrified of the people who think this is ok!

My 7 yr old is CEV. I can’t take her to things like this because I don’t trust people and that’s so sad.

With no isolation of family members schools are full of it. I'm sure my dd has it but as negative lft and not the three symptoms she has been told to go in.

Your CEV child is sadly at risk of all illnesses not just covid

And what of those whose businesses go under, whose livelihoods disappear, whose prospects are ruined as they drown in debt while the comfortable whine and scold as though nothing will ever matter as much as Covid?

I'm sorry, but I genuinely can't believe so many people are saying to take him. Have people learned nothing about the spread, and the death rate? Yes, we've all been disappointed by missing things, but, y'know what, it's shit, but he'll get over it. Would you get over it if he was to pass it on to someone who then died?

(And before anyone says I'm being ridiculous, I've gone to work every week - hybrid model - since June 2020; I've cared for a vulnerable relative; I've gone to the supermarket every week; I've been in classes of students... I still think anyone who goes out, when they are knowingly positive, are pretty low own on the decent human list.)

if you are really CEV then while the rates are so high and it's so contagious, wouldn't you CHOOSE to put your own health first and stay the fuck at home?

@CornishGem1975 do you know CEV people have jobs that they have to attend? their partners also have jobs that they have to attend or they don’t get paid.
Are you offering to pay my mortgage & bills so I don’t have to go out to work and risk the life of my CEV loved one? Because infected people won’t stay the fuck at home?

If it is an outdoor event and hes not squashed up with other people, i would probably let them go, i wouldn't be taking him to an indoor event but outdoors i would, i would keep him away from others though and not go indoors.

It's really shit but I wouldn't go. You need to think about how you'd feel if someone passed it onto one of your vulnerable family members when they knew they were positive but just didn't care and went out and about anyway. Of course I have empathy for your situation but I also have empathy for the folk who could be infected by him.

I wouldn't let him go. You would be knowingly sending a child with a contagious infectious disease out to event where there'll be loads of other people. It's not just a secluded walk outside, there will be many people there.
What if he had chicken pox, surely you'd isolate him then too? What's the difference?

@DontWantTheRivalry

This first image is the first test we took last Saturday (based on me and DH being positive) and the other image is the test I’ve just done now.

The tests we’ve been doing throughout the week have all looked the same as the image of his first positive.

I’m genuinely surprised that the line of the test we’ve just done has faded so much in just 8 hours.

Think I’d get him to have a bath go under the water try and clean his nose out as much as possible to make sure it’s not just old virus left.

I wouldn't let him go unless he is negative tomorrow

@TheLovelinessOfDemons

The people saying let him go are the reason my adult DS can only leave the house for 10 minutes a day for physio. I know it's horrible, but I just want him to be able to lead a normal life.

No, that isn't because of op. This is because there is a virus out there that people are carrying without knowing they have it. Numbers are high out there because many are transmitting it before even knowing they have it. People going out knowing they are positive are few and far between and in this case, incredibly unlikely to spread it given how far on the dc is and that they are asymptomatic. do NOT put blame for this whole shit situation onto the op.

I've followed the rules all along, but day seven and outdoors, masked? I'd let him go.

I'd let him go, he could still be testing positive at day 10. It's outside after all.

I would let him go.Keep away from people,wear a mask.Packed lunch,plenty of drinks.Are they going by car?