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Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Everythingsokreally · 28/01/2022 14:25

The idea of letting him go is so selfish. He’ll be sad? Well, my child is sad that he is home from school and isolating for 10 days with covid and two full time work from home parents, and that it is now going to be extended by an additional 5 days because his parents have got it and can’t take him to school once he is finished isolating. And I am sad that I am back to tearing my hair out as I try to do an immensely full on job with a child around. And it flashes us all right back to the awful, awful state we were all in during ‘real’ lockdowns after having to do this for months on end. Yes, in all likliehood no one will be quarantining in March, but right now we have to - so you knowingly sending someone out in the isolation period is putting plenty of people in our position. Selfish.

Wreath21 · 28/01/2022 14:26

@Chloemol

I wouldn’t let him go, sorry he is positive it doesn’t matter if it’s outdoorsman he can still transmit covid to others

It doesn’t natter if he is asymptomatic or not, he’s got it, he can share it with others

It’s no example for the future, you do it now and he will expect it again

It’s a tough lesson, but rules are there for a reason

I would have thought it was obvious by now that many of the rules are about mass scaremongering. distraction from government corruption, and control freakery rather than about public health. It is not dangerous to be near other people in the open air - fresh air and ventilation are widely known preventative measures against infection.

We really do need to teach our children to question and disobey authority when necessary, or all the horrors of the past will continue to repeat (austerity, Brexit, police corruption and violence, government corruption etc) while some continue to wring their hands and whine about 'selfishness'.

TheMerrickBoy · 28/01/2022 14:26

Outside is massively different from inside, though.

user1471447924 · 28/01/2022 14:27

You know it would be wrong to let him go. I wonder who he might pass it to…

Chloemol · 28/01/2022 14:27

@marqueses

One of the issues is cases are rising again because of kids back in school and transmitting it

The kids very positive still, he can still transmit it and being outdoors reduces it but doesn’t stop that transmission.

Be interesting to see if all those who are saying let him go would say the same if it was a teenager or adult family member, or if they are caught up with the emotion of it being a very upset 7 year old who at the end of the day appears to be getting his own way when rules are very clear

SoftPillow · 28/01/2022 14:30

Personally I'd let him go, but he would wear a mask.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 28/01/2022 14:31

I’d say the same if it was an adult or a teenager.

BaconMassive · 28/01/2022 14:31

As they sang in Frozen "Let him go"

CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 14:31

@TheMerrickBoy

Outside is massively different from inside, though.
Agreed.

So here's a better scenario @DontWantTheRivalry:

If you would more than happily let him meet with his CEV granny/brittle asthmatic cousin/auntie in cancer recovery/grandfather with Parkinson's in the park for a picnic tomorrow - then you have your answer.

Ask your husband the same thing.

TheMerrickBoy · 28/01/2022 14:33

No, I wouldn't say the same if it were an adult, probably. I'm not 100% sure I'm saying yes now, but I do know that the two things that most annoy me on this thread are

  1. OMG what if he kills a granny
  2. Focus on him touching surfaces.

Two years ago you'd have sent him if he had a bad cold but wanted to go - and yes, covid isn't a cold, for many people, but I think we need to get some proportion back, because this is a child who is absolutely fine and has been isolating and has missed a lot of the the last 2 years of his life, which is nearly a quarter of it. 7 year olds shouldn't be thinking of themselves as little ticking time bombs of death - that really is an unhealthy way of going on.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/01/2022 14:33

@CrocodilesCry

That's a pretty obvious line still after nearly a week. Remember that LFDs show us how infectious someone is and that's not really a faint line, so essentially he's infectious even without symptoms.

Here's a test.

Would you let him go and visit an elderly relative in a care home or someone poorly in hospital tomorrow?

If the answer is no, then make the right decision.

Good point

Does op dh feels that’s appropriate …..

Doesn’t matter it’s outdoors

It’s still mixing with people

marqueses · 28/01/2022 14:34

[quote Chloemol]@marqueses

One of the issues is cases are rising again because of kids back in school and transmitting it

The kids very positive still, he can still transmit it and being outdoors reduces it but doesn’t stop that transmission.

Be interesting to see if all those who are saying let him go would say the same if it was a teenager or adult family member, or if they are caught up with the emotion of it being a very upset 7 year old who at the end of the day appears to be getting his own way when rules are very clear[/quote]
At this stage yes I would let a teenager go to an outdoor event but I'm probably not the best person to ask I and my children have attended outdoor events as normal all the way through. The infection risk is minimal and there's no valid comparisn with a primary school full of children in close proximity for hours 5 days a week.

It would be helpful though to know what kind of event it is, there might be little to no need to be near anyone else anyway.

SeenYourArse · 28/01/2022 14:34

I’d let him go with no hesitation at all, the world has gone completely mad…he is NOT poorly he is perfectly well and healthy it’s madness to keep children isolated for an illness they don’t have. If you hadn’t tested him you’d never have known…because he’s well! I know blah blah other people could be worse affected if they catch it etc well if they are worried and vulnerable they ought to not be going to an even they can’t social distance at and should wear an N95 mask. If they don’t work why are we having to wear masks anyway 🤯

RollaCola84 · 28/01/2022 14:35

@CrocodilesCry again not the same thing. OP deliberately I suspect hasn't given much detail about the event but it could easily be something where her son and his Dad can keep to themselves, not mix with others, take their own sandwiches etc. If it is then as I said, I'd let him go.

If its outdoor but lots of people sitting or standing close together like a football or rugby match then I probably wouldn't.

ArchibaldsDaddy · 28/01/2022 14:35

OK…maybe you and your family have been asymptomatic, but not everyone else is.

Unless any of you are expert virologists, you need to follow not only the guidance - but the law.

Covid and what it’s stopped us doing has been crap for everyone - but given how contagious the current variant is, your DS might just pass it on to someone who becomes really ill.

The fact you’re having to even ask in here baffles me. Even the thought of it is selfish in the extreme.

SeenYourArse · 28/01/2022 14:36

*to an event

Chloemol · 28/01/2022 14:36

@Wreath21

Yes it’s a preventative but it DOES NOT stop transmission fully

The kid is very positive, and should not go.

Let’s say he goes and passes it into 2 kids he is standing next to, they spread it at school in a couple of days to 4 others , that’s potentially 6 families where one has to, at a minimum take time if work, often unpaid. That’s 6 families who could end up with adults getting it and having time off work, often unpaid

It’s not just a case of teaching kids to challenge and disobey authority when they want to, it’s a case of adults who encourage them to do so like you understanding the knock on impact, which it appears you don’t

CornishGem1975 · 28/01/2022 14:36

I'd say the same about any adult, teenager, child, donkey or witches cat. The whole thing is ridiculous.

I'm wondering if all those who wouldn't let them go are going to avoid going anywhere once the isolation rules are completely dropped. Imagine, mixing with all those infected people that will be EVERYWHERE come March. You know, just like at any other time in our lives. You never know what you're going to catch and when. Such is life.

RealBecca · 28/01/2022 14:36

Yabu.

But also like fuck would I he the bad guy that has already said no and then let Disney dad say rules dont apply son, let's go!

Fuck that.

jupitermars1345 · 28/01/2022 14:36

People like all those of you above make a mockery of those following the rules and you are the reason this pandemic has been dragging on, by willingly going out while contagious and infecting others.

Do people still genuinely believe this ?!

The whole point of the original was lockdown was so the NHS wasn't overwhelmed. It was never to stop people getting it. Never has been. Never will be. You can't be ' covid secure' 🤷‍♀️

Darbs76 · 28/01/2022 14:36

Absolutely not, so unfair to infect others who could then pass it on to vulnerable family. We all have to make sacrifices for covid and my children missed out on planned events too when they had covid. It also sends a terrible message to him

TheMerrickBoy · 28/01/2022 14:37

@Blondeshavemorefun yes actually it does matter if it's outdoors. That's why all the focus on indoor socialising, ventilation, etc. It makes a huge difference.

beastlyslumber · 28/01/2022 14:37

Let him go! Poor lad

firstimemamma · 28/01/2022 14:38

I'd let him go.

BaconMassive · 28/01/2022 14:38

@DontWantTheRivalry

This first image is the first test we took last Saturday (based on me and DH being positive) and the other image is the test I’ve just done now.

The tests we’ve been doing throughout the week have all looked the same as the image of his first positive.

I’m genuinely surprised that the line of the test we’ve just done has faded so much in just 8 hours.

I can't even see that second line? Is it a blank test?
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