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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband wants to take Covid Positive son out for the day….

999 replies

DontWantTheRivalry · 28/01/2022 12:39

I’m in such a quandary.

Me, DH and DS (aged 7) tested positive last week.

DH was ill for a few days but was back at work on Day 7 after two negative LFTs.

I’m on Day 7 and my line is now starting to fade. I’ve been asymptomatic throughout.

DS is on Day 6, he has also been completely asymptomatic but his LFT is still positive.

My quandary is this…

DS and DH have got tickets to go to an event tomorrow that DS been looking forward to for about 6 months and this morning (after his latest LFT) we had to break the news to him that he wouldn’t be able to go and he was absolutely devastated. He started crying and it broke my heart.

He asked me if he could still go if he promised not to eat all day so he didn’t have to open his mouth and I just wanted to cry Sad

Everything is a 1000 times worse because he’s absolutely fine, he’s not ill at all and it seems so unfair on him. This event is something that means a lot to him and his dad and I’m genuinely gutted that the positive LFT means he can’t go.

However, my problem is that my DH has just phoned me and said that he wants to take our son anyway as the event is outdoors and DH said he doesn’t want to DS to miss out on something that means a lot to him when he’s perfectly well. DH said that if we repeat the LFT in the morning and it’s faint then he’s going to take DS on the trip.

I feel so torn. I know it’s awful because I really do know that if he’s LFT positive he shouldn’t go, but as a mother of a distraught little boy it’s so hard to be the bad guy.

Do I need to put a stop to this?

Or would it be ok to just hand control over to DH and say “I don’t agree with what you’re doing but I physically can’t stop you taking him.”

I hate Covid.

I don’t know what to do or what to say to DH.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Yaya26 · 28/01/2022 14:13

Oh ok just read later posts!

brunonononono · 28/01/2022 14:13

I am very surprised at the amount of replies telling him to go, really expected 100% ‘you’re selfish!!’ replies. Times are changing Blush

Wreath21 · 28/01/2022 14:14

@Abraxan

What I don't understand is why this thread has so many people saying it's fine, compared to other threads this week with totally different views. Is it because it's a child?

On previous threads we've had this week posters have been adamant:

  • a covid positive parent can't drive their covid negative (and recently recovered form covid) child to school even though the parent won't be leaving the car at any point
  • a covid positive person couldn't go for a walk with their dog, late at night, in an isolated field
  • a covid negative person shouldn't be arranging to take care of their covid positive (step) children in their own home

There are many more.

So why is this one so different?

Covid positive child wants to go to an event where other people will be - why is this scenario suddenly fine when others aren't?

Um, because different posters, with different views, post on different threads? This one seems to have as high a finger-wagging whinyarse contingent as all the others as far as I can see, but hopefully OP will ignore them.
jumpbounce · 28/01/2022 14:14

@Pointswesthelpplease

For everyone saying it's wrong to go out, cev children at risk, etc. What are you going to do when isolation ends? How do you cope with more deadly viruses like flu?
Vaccinations usually! And given this government are only now 2 years into this and far behind other countries in giving these children the opportunity to get a vaccine to protect them is disgusting. Some children haven't been to any events or school since March 2020 and yet I'm constantly reading on here the trauma of other children who have to miss one event not one person cares a jot on the impact of another child.
Abraxan · 28/01/2022 14:15

@CarrieBlue

I really hope I’m not going to the same event. So selfish.
The OP hasn't told us what the event is, only that it is outdoors.

Whether the child is sat next to someone else we have no idea.
Whether the outdoor venue is partially covered/enclosed, we don't know.
Whether they have to pass through more crowded areas to access the venue, we don't know.

As it's something that's been booked up for several weeks/months, the likelihood is that there are going to be lots of other people there I suspect.

And if somewhere like a football match, there will be crowds etc.

If it read the rules, even for early release after consecutive negative tests, you're still advised to avoid crowded areas, etc for a few days anyway.

CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 14:15

That's a pretty obvious line still after nearly a week. Remember that LFDs show us how infectious someone is and that's not really a faint line, so essentially he's infectious even without symptoms.

Here's a test.

Would you let him go and visit an elderly relative in a care home or someone poorly in hospital tomorrow?

If the answer is no, then make the right decision.

marqueses · 28/01/2022 14:15

@Quackpot

Of course he shouldn't go if he's positive. It's quite obvious from some of these replies why COVID ripped throughout the country in the first place though. I'm alright jack, f* everyone else.
Do you really think that a major contributor to the pandemic is 7 year old children who have been positive for at least 6 days with omicron attending outdoor events for a few hours?

That's frankly bonkers.

Inastatus · 28/01/2022 14:15

I’d let him go OP.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 28/01/2022 14:15

I know quite a few people who tested positive in the morning of day 6 and negative by the night

Anyway I'd let him go

OperationRinka · 28/01/2022 14:17

Cross fingers for tomorrow. With that much decrease in the past eight hours your chances of a negative should be high.

I'd let him go after a single negative since it's an outdoor event.

chocaholic73 · 28/01/2022 14:19

I really do feel for you DS and odds are he won't infect anyone if he goes but, as the parent of someone who is ECV, what if he did give Covid to someone and that person died. It's disappointing but a no brainer for me.

Rainbowshit · 28/01/2022 14:19

I'd let him go.

TheMerrickBoy · 28/01/2022 14:19

@CrocodilesCry

That's a pretty obvious line still after nearly a week. Remember that LFDs show us how infectious someone is and that's not really a faint line, so essentially he's infectious even without symptoms.

Here's a test.

Would you let him go and visit an elderly relative in a care home or someone poorly in hospital tomorrow?

If the answer is no, then make the right decision.

Is the outdoor event visiting an elderly relative in a care home or someone poorly in hospital?

That test doesn't make any sense. AIBU to let my child have a lolly?

Here's a test.

Would you let him have a grenade?

if the answer is no, make the right decision.

lucylucyapplejuicy · 28/01/2022 14:21

Let him go, I would personally. When the person who makes the rules doesn't even follow them then why not! No isolation from March anyway and you've isolated for a week already.

RollaCola84 · 28/01/2022 14:21

@CrocodilesCry that's not even remotely comparable

Purplependant222 · 28/01/2022 14:21

In other countries people are allowed to leave after day 5 if a mask is warn.

Make sure he’s wearing a medical grade mask (not a cloth one) and hand sanitizer in his pocket. Before he uses the loo he sanitises, if he climbs stairs etc etc. Also agree with others that you test him and tell him that it’s negative but he’s still got to be strict.

Chloemol · 28/01/2022 14:22

I wouldn’t let him go, sorry he is positive it doesn’t matter if it’s outdoorsman he can still transmit covid to others

It doesn’t natter if he is asymptomatic or not, he’s got it, he can share it with others

It’s no example for the future, you do it now and he will expect it again

It’s a tough lesson, but rules are there for a reason

bedheadedzombie · 28/01/2022 14:22

My dad tested positive for 5 weeks after he had covid. He wasn't infectious anymore.

Let him go (with a mask).

Wreath21 · 28/01/2022 14:22

It was always pretty safe to go to outdoor events, even at peak moral panic (airborne viruses are much, much less infectious in the open air), even pre-vaccines, it was relatively safe to have a picnic in the park - and it's a pity more people didn't do so.

DynamiteFilledRadish · 28/01/2022 14:22

I would let him go without question.

I also wouldn't ask the self-appointed church elders on here.

CrocodilesCry · 28/01/2022 14:23

Funny @TheMerrickBoy

What I'm trying to say is you will come across people with vulnerabilities, disabilities, old age etc at an outside event.

Like I say - if they wouldn't let them meet their own loved one with vulnerabilities tomorrow, then why is it ok for a child who is still infectious to mix with other people's loved ones? Outside or not?

Here's a lolly for you anyway Grin

LargeYorkshirePuddingAndGravy · 28/01/2022 14:24

Why are people saying "what would Boris do?"

Are we supposed to be aiming to live by his morals?

SafferUpNorth · 28/01/2022 14:24

@DontWantTheRivalry

This first image is the first test we took last Saturday (based on me and DH being positive) and the other image is the test I’ve just done now.

The tests we’ve been doing throughout the week have all looked the same as the image of his first positive.

I’m genuinely surprised that the line of the test we’ve just done has faded so much in just 8 hours.

By tomorrow morning you might find that line is barely there, if at all. I'd let him go.
User764832 · 28/01/2022 14:25

The sooner this isolation malarky stops, the better.

3littlerabbitsss · 28/01/2022 14:25

Would be a definite no from me. Don’t be responsible for kicking off a chain of covid, sickness and isolation for a load of other families.

Really sorry about the timing, poor little lad. Is there something else you could plan to make up for it?

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