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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

679 replies

anotherinheritanceq · 27/01/2022 21:14

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

OP posts:
Eightiesfan · 22/02/2022 12:22

I can’t even believe she would consider being with this man let alone marrying him. Surely she can change her will to leave her house to her children with the condition her husband can stay in the house until he passes and also split any cash assets 50/50 with her children. Then when he passes the house goes to her children and anything left moneywise can be split amongst his children (although I still find it galling that any money would go to his kids). I don’t think it is a given that husband gets everything if a will says otherwise. He could contest it, but as he has not contributed at all apart from saying “I do” I’m not sure he would hate very far.

Eightiesfan · 22/02/2022 12:23

*get

leli · 22/02/2022 12:23

I have private messaged you OP.

ecosystem · 29/03/2022 14:41

Lot's of 'obviously' in your message. Nothing is obvious, except that she has the power to make the decisions she wants to make.
If it were me, there is no way I would marry someone who would be prepared to enjoy the benefits of my assets and if I died, cut out my children from the inheritance. She can write a will which protects her wishes for her children.
I seriously question why she would want to marry someone who has this attitude towards her and her children - it would be a 'goodbye' from me!

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