It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

[anotherinheritanceq]

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

@Swooping down It would be more accurate if you said ' Children are not entitled to their parents estate in England' as both legally and I was told morally ( according to the general Italian concensus ) by my former housemate children are entitled to inhearit outside of England.

My Italian housemate regarded children not being entitled to inhearit as an English peculiarity rather like moris dancing.

The conversation was sparked by my partner having said to his mother that she could solve her finincial/ housing problems by moving in with a old man and inhearit his house. This was a sarcastic joke but she apparently took him serriosly. She is still married to his father although they live separately. She was hoping to pay off her house when his father died as everything is going to her but his father is still alive age 90 and incredibly healthy.

Testamentary freedom is most common in English speaking countries. The property is seen as being that of the individual, in many non English speaking countries it is seen more as belonging to the family. Which system do you consider more morally correct @swoopingdown?

Get legal advice OP - she may be able to put it in a trust for you

[quote Thehouseofmarvels]@Swooping down It would be more accurate if you said ' Children are not entitled to their parents estate in England' as both legally and I was told morally ( according to the general Italian concensus ) by my former housemate children are entitled to inhearit outside of England. [/quote]
Yes but the OP's mum wants her children to inherit.

That's why she is upset with her fiancé.

@babyjellyfish One idea would be for OP's mother to buy a holiday home in a country with forced heirship such as spain if there was any chance ( sounds like there is every change) that the fiance might chalenge a life tenancy. He may chalenge anything that did not leave every penny to him. The easy thing would be to have a commitment ceremony but not a legal marriage.

@anotherinhearitanceq If there is a chance your mother's partner might chalenge a life tenancy, and contest a will which gave him one, would buying property in a country with forced heirship be possible ? A holiday flat in spain ?

[quote Thehouseofmarvels]@babyjellyfish One idea would be for OP's mother to buy a holiday home in a country with forced heirship such as spain if there was any chance ( sounds like there is every change) that the fiance might chalenge a life tenancy. He may chalenge anything that did not leave every penny to him. The easy thing would be to have a commitment ceremony but not a legal marriage. [/quote]
That's not a bad idea but then where would she live? It looks like her most valuable asset is her home.

@anotherinhearitanceq if your mother does try to avoid his kids getting anything is there any chance he might leave her? I understand this could be a worry for your mother.

@ScribblingPixie

Wow, she must be incredibly stupid to think about marrying this man. He's not to be trusted a millimetre.

Totally agree with ScribblingPixir^. He sounds like a complete loser and demanding. She would be mad to marry him and give him a meal ticket for life. She needs to end this and find someone equal to her, regarding property. Maybe she comes over as needy emotionally and he thinks he is doing her a favour. I would tell him and his State benefits to do one

@Petlover9 She may feel this man is her only chance at happiness or the only man who would ever love her. Op mentioned he lives in a shared house with various other people, and that the estate ( mostly house I assume) would be worth 500k so I can see why he would think this fair, give someone love and he gets half her assets, 250k in exchange. Sucks for her kids though. My friend kept going back to a man who hit her because she thought nobody else would ever love her, she grew up in care.

Half her assets if they divorce or all if she dies I should say. He may see it as offering her happiness, something worth more than money. I am sure her mother could meet someone nicer but she may not believe this and people will do anything for a chance of happiness or not to be alone.

She be mad to marry him

@anotherinheritanceq is your mother likely to inhearit from anybody ? What would be anoying is if your mother inhearited from her parents and then her partner divorced her and walked of with a sizable chunk of family assets. If she insists on marrying her relatives may have to think carefully about what they leave to her.

I hope your mother thinks carefully about why she wants to marry this bloke. There is little to no stigma these days about being married and there is nothing to stop her having a non legally binding commitment party, adopting his name and wearing a ring. She can leave him a life tenancy to her house too, but if she does not do the legal part he can't stress out her kids by chalenging the will.

Little to no stigma about not being married sorry

Why on earth would she marry him he sounds like a coco lodger
Get rid

Coco?
I mean "Cock" Lodger

My DH comes from a family with interesting wills. There has been a fair few instances where a second marriage if A to C whose first wife (B) has died and A inherited the lot. In A’s will, they left a life interest in the property to their new spouse C. C can live in the property for their life time and upon their death, the property goes to the children of A and B. Children of C not entitled to anything as the “owners” were originally and always intended to be A and B. B would have been rolling in their grave if their children were cut out.

If your friend’s fellow thinks he can cut out your friend’s children she very much needs to see a solicitor and protect her assets for her children. No reason he can’t enjoy living in her house after your friend dies (if that happens) but no reason to pass ownership to him

“What would be anoying is if your mother inhearited from her parents and then her partner divorced her and walked of with a sizable chunk of family assets.” My dad’s wife is walking of with most of the family assets, which have been on our family for 4 generations. There are no words to describe how much I want karma to reward this evil woman for her actions. My dad was not guilt-free though - he lived with cancer for over 8 years, knowing for the last 2 years it was untreatable. He had plenty of opportunity to sign his will. He believed that putting it in writing was extremely bad luck and was akin to him signalling he was ready to die. He was never ready, so he left us this way. One sibling in particular, who spent many years looking after him in good times and bad, feels particularly sorely about it. If our story saves one family from being done over after a parent’s death, it will be worth telling.

@soapoperafamily If your father died with no will only the first 270 k goes to your father's wife in England and wales. Different rules for scotland.

That's interesting to know, and no I don't think it's morally wrong. I'm not an anarchist though and given how some brits complain about the nanny state and restriction of liberties, some of them might think it isn't the state's place to dictate that. I can see the logic in passing wealth to children, and supporting the family continuation down the generations. I just don't think the children should take it for granted, and feel 'entitled'.
Just as the OP's partner hasn't contributed to the mother's wealth, neither apparently have the children. You might also be interested to know that (according to encyclopedia.com) that as recently as "In 1925, the British Parliament abolished primogeniture as the governing rule in the absence of a valid will". That's the principle that all the hinheritence passes to the eldest/eldest son.

@soapoperafamily Does your father's wife have children ? I know of a similar situation where the spouse has no children, and no contact with their sibling so the estate could well end up going to charity.

Last reply was in response to @Thehouseofmarvels