It's an inheritance one, who is right here?

[anotherinheritanceq]

This one is more about what's morally right than legalities iyswim, hence why I'm posting here.

So someone I know has assets over half a million, not sure on figure but I know she owns her big house outright and has money in the bank etc. She has children from previous marriage, and she is engaged to her partner who also has children. He can't work and doesn't have any assets, he's on disability benefits. Obviously when marrying what's hers is his, fair enough.

However they've been talking about things including wills, and basically it's come up that if she were to die first (and naturally he would inherit the whole lot), once he dies he would pass everything including the house onto his children and not a penny for his wife's children. Of course she says that's not fair that her children would get nothing if she happens to die first, all her children grew up in that home etc. He argues that everyone puts their own children first and it'll be the only opportunity of giving anything to his children because of his disability/not being able to work.

Who is being unreasonable? What's the done thing in these situations?

I know she is now on about writing a will to leave something to her kids but obviously she can't leave her partner homeless and penniless!

@Vbree

She's a very poor judge of character!

How do you know? I've just read more of the OP's posts, and it seems that her mum is still relatively young (less than 50) and of sound will and body, and is in love and really wants to marry this man. He might be the best thing that's ever happened to her for all we know. It also sounds like the OP has made strenuous efforts to talk her mum out of it and/or write a will that protects the OP. Mum doesn't want to, and is old enough to make her own decisions. When my parents die I hope I'll inherit but I don't believe I have a right to expect anything.

Choux, I don't have enough information to agree with your statement. For all I know the OP and her siblings are all billionaires, and the husband to be's children live in poverty with the same disability as him.

Yes she can leave her house to the kids but allow him to live in it until he dies. Tbh if he is thinking about doing right by his kids she may find he divorces her to get half of her cash and ensure he can pass it on. Before she marries him she needs legal advice, she needs a prenuptial agreement (which divorce courts do take into account) and a will. If he balks then she should t marry him. He is clearly only marrying her for money.

@SwoopingDown

Choux, I don't have enough information to agree with your statement. For all I know the OP and her siblings are all billionaires, and the husband to be's children live in poverty with the same disability as him.

You have less info than the rest of us as you haven't read the thread. The assets are estimated at £500k.

There is limited info on the disabled partner's kids (or the OP and any siblings) but an initial view can be given. The partner wants his kids to get everything the OPs parents have accumulated. How is that fair?

@SwoopingDown

Choux, I don't have enough information to agree with your statement. For all I know the OP and her siblings are all billionaires, and the husband to be's children live in poverty with the same disability as him.

Even if that were the case it would be completely irrelevant. If two individuals marry, each with their own children from previous relationships, and one has lots of assets and the other has none, it’s morally wrong for the one who has none to say that if the other died they would give all those assets to their own children and cut off the ones who’d lost a parent.

I knew that, and you haven't provided any new info.
I read all the Op's posts before I posted that.
My point is it could be 'fair' depending on the circumstances that we don't know.
The OP has put their side of the story, but mum and partner have no chance to explain their logic. I say 'their' because OP's mum appears to be in agreement, it's not solely the partner deciding this.
I expect they have good reasons that the OP hasn't posted, and might not even know.

Also worth noting that mum and partner have been open about their decision. It's not like the partner has a cunning plan that he's kept to himself.

I agree!

I agree

I disagree, I think it's morally wrong that a child should expect to inherit. Loving parents usually do want to pass on their wealth for their children's benefit, but that's love not morals.

I honestly worry that he is more likely to divorce her and ask for dependency payments and take half her property. Late
40’s is still very young. She needs a very good prenup in place that he has also had legal advice on and signed before she marries him. Perhaps your mum already being divorced, will act to protect her own interests at least?

For clarity, my last post was disagreeing with Sunbird

@SwoopingDown

I knew that, and you haven't provided any new info. I read all the Op's posts before I posted that. My point is it could be 'fair' depending on the circumstances that we don't know. The OP has put their side of the story, but mum and partner have no chance to explain their logic. I say 'their' because OP's mum appears to be in agreement, it's not solely the partner deciding this. I expect they have good reasons that the OP hasn't posted, and might not even know.

The mum is definitely not in agreement! The first post says her mum thinks it isn't fair and a later post says ' this has caused an argument between them and she wants to protect her assets for her children now. '

I won't be engaging with you any further as your points don't tally with what the OP has said.

Wow Yorkshirelass, such speculation about someone you don't know at all based on scant information posted by someone with a vested interest...Please tell me who shot JFK and where the fake moonlanding ws staged

Choux, you only have the OP's word for that.

The OP has also said she can't talk her mum out of the marriage to ensure she inherits

@swoopingdown My partner's mother has an interest only morgage. She managed to get a 5 year extention but at one point thought she was going to loose her house. At that point she started dating a 90 year old home owner. We suspect with intentions of securing herself a place to live if the worst happened. That relationship stopped without explanation but then she met her current partner who is in his 70s like her but in very poor health. She goes to my partner on the phone ' oh I've met someone and we are going to get married'. He has one child who is no contact with him so won't get anything. Soon after she met him she mentioned something about them doing wills to leave everything to each other. We are no contact at the moment for a variety of reasons. You say children should not be entitled to inhearitance.. should people like my partner's mother be entitled to inhearitance ?

My point is that some people absolutely date strategically to secure assets.

I don’t disagree that children shouldn’t just automatically expect to inherit everything, but I do think it’s normal to expect ‘something’. The main point here really is that OP’s mum needs to make a will to ensure that in the event of her death her assets are distributed exactly as she wishes them to be, rather than her husband doing whatever he wants with them. Maybe he would let OP and her siblings pick out something sentimental to keep, maybe he wouldn’t, he didn’t say, but he shouldn’t get to just arbitrarily decide that his kids get to inherit everything that belonged to OP’s mum and her own children get nothing.

@Thehouseofmarvels, Perhaps I didn't make my point clearly enough, I said i thought it morally wrong that children expect to inherit.
You ask about entitlement, and that is based on law, not morals.
My point was that it's the decision of the person making the will, and not for their relatives or anyone else to decide for them...including me...so I can't answer your question, other than to say it's the decision of the will maker and/or the law.

@Thehouseofmarvels

My point is that some people absolutely date strategically to secure assets.

I acknowledge that, and it's abominable. But there's no evidence that the OP's mum's partner has done so, yet vile comments have been made about him.

@Sunbird24

I don’t disagree that children shouldn’t just automatically expect to inherit everything, but I do think it’s normal to expect ‘something’. The main point here really is that OP’s mum needs to make a will to ensure that in the event of her death her assets are distributed exactly as she wishes them to be, rather than her husband doing whatever he wants with them. Maybe he would let OP and her siblings pick out something sentimental to keep, maybe he wouldn’t, he didn’t say, but he shouldn’t get to just arbitrarily decide that his kids get to inherit everything that belonged to OP’s mum and her own children get nothing.

I agree entirely that it's for OP's mum to decide. But some of the OP's comments seem to contradict, e.g. indicating that her mum wants her children to inherit, but in another post saying she hopes she can persuae her mum to se a solicitor.

Surely if OP's mum was so set on her children inheriting, she would have already seen or agreed to see a solicitor.

@swoopingdown you may be interested to know about the conversation I had with an italian former housemate on this subject. Her ex partner was a solicitor. She said children not being expected to inhearit is a very English view, not even British. In Scotland, Ireland and most if not all of Europe children are absolutely entitled to inhearit. There is no such thing as total testementary freedom in these countries. Just out of interest do you think this is morally wrong? The point of these laws is to keep the money in the family and to discourage people from marrying with the hope of getting everything and passing it on to their own children.

She is right. She also should not be marrying him if this is how he thinks.