To think it’s ok to do ‘well enough’ at gcse’s

[Laughingstock91]

DS is doing well in school- I don’t know what his predicted grades are yet as he’s in year 9 and the school don’t do predicted gcse grades as they take the (sensible I feel) approach that it predicted grades too early on can cap achievement. I like this approach.

DS is doing well by their markers but gets very stressed by pressure. And the pressure seems to come from the get straight A’s & A* that seems to be hovering about - not from the school nescrssarily- but from an expectation in his peers that anything less is a failure. It drives me nuts! I got 8 GCSE’s grades a-c, did 3 Alevels grades a-c and then went to Uni and got a 2:1. I really want DS to pass his GCSEs and be able to go on and study but I don’t want him to feel ridiculous pressure to try and get straight A grades (or 9’s or whatever the modern day equivalent is.

But is that ok? Am I failing him by not pushing him? A friend with a child in private school where they get pushed to achieve straight A’s thinks I am letting him down but not saying he should aim for that! I just want him to do as well as he can but to not go mad with the stress of it all.

Aibu?

Dd had her college interview last night, she's gone from predicated 7,8&9's to 2&3's.or u if she didn't actually sit the mocks. she has ASD mh issues and severe anxiety, her school are failing her daily... The college staff were amazing with her, they stated GCSE are not the be all and end all of life at 16 if she can't get the grades needed she can retake them at college, with the right support alongside her selected alevels (then detailed the kind of support students similar to her currently get)he also said if she can manage a 4 she wouldn't have to retake unless she wanted to he went on to talk about clubs and socials she may be interested in and what life would look like at college compared with school. She left practically glowing and excited about education again, and has said she is really going to try to push through GCSE so she can have more free time for all the elective classes that looked so fun...

YANBU. It's such a hard time in a child's (teen) life. Constant pressure in other areas that this is just a terrible time to be adding more.

I went the opposite way and couldn't handle the pressure so gave up on learning / revising because I thought it would be better to not try & fail than the humiliation of trying and still failing. At least if I didn't try I wouldn't care and no one would expect me to do well anyway.
Such a weird POV but at 15,16,17 that's what was in my head.

The advice we were given (ds has an spld) was that his personal statement should focus on him and the course and his reference should talk about the difficulties he has overcome. There are boxes to tick on the UCAS form for being a young carer or having an SEN

We've always said that GCSEs are a stepping stone to doing the A levels you want, which will then lead to the degree you want to do (if that's what they chose) GCSE results are never looked at once you pass each next stage i.e. A level grades are needed for the degree, then employers only look at your degree grade and not your GCSE or Alevel grades.

Our eldest focused on getting the GCSE grades he needed for his chosen A Levels, and is now working towards the grades he needs to get to apply for the degree he wants to do. The GCSE grades weren't ever the focus, whether they'd help him to do x, y or z was.

It depends what he wants to do.
Everyone needs the best Maths & English grades they can get.
He'll need good grades in the subjects he wants to do at A level & depending on those subjects possibly others that impact on his chosen subjects eg good maths to do A level sciences

@Ski4130

We've always said that GCSEs are a stepping stone to doing the A levels you want, which will then lead to the degree you want to do (if that's what they chose) GCSE results are never looked at once you pass each next stage i.e. A level grades are needed for the degree, then employers only look at your degree grade and not your GCSE or Alevel grades.

Our eldest focused on getting the GCSE grades he needed for his chosen A Levels, and is now working towards the grades he needs to get to apply for the degree he wants to do. The GCSE grades weren't ever the focus, whether they'd help him to do x, y or z was.

Yes that would chime with our experience too. And if goes on to the next stages as well – DD is currently applying for PhDs and all they are interested in is her MSc (and specifically her Masters dissertation and the research behind that). Not once has she been asked about her first degree, let alone anything before that.

@Comefromaway Thanks. We did go through the process already and thought I was doing it right! Obviously not. Thankfully dc got offers from everywhere except Oxford. Probably explains why

Before I get accused of being bitter about Oxford, I didn’t care at all about that. They are much better off where they are. It wouldn’t have suited them at all.

I have a summer born year ten with send (autism and finally about to have their ADHD assessment).

Child is bright and articulate, very creative, but has never achieved high through school.

I've said to folks that as long as my child is supported well enough to come to their exams on am equal footing to their peers, all that matters to me is that their maths and English are passes and that their art and photography are good. Because those are their chosen areas of interest and talent, which they can actually do something with, moving forward.

And we won't be expecting A's.

My children both crumble under the slightest pressure. I'd rather they were doing 'ok' and actually make it through exams.

Sorry to derail, but could I just ask a question about extra vs supracurricular activities please? I've never heard that distinction made before reading this thread. I'm assuming that supra is things that they do outside of school that is directly related to one of their subjects, but extra is something unrelated - is that correct? So, suppose a student both played an instrument and a sport to a fairly high level, if they were applying for a Sports Science course, their sport would be supercurricular and worth including in some detail in their PS, but their musical achievements would be extracurricular and might be worth a line on the end at most, as a possible icebreaker if there's an interview? But if they were applying for Performing Arts degree then the opposite would be true?
Have I got that right @SarahAndQuack ( or anyone else in the know)? Thanks.

@MrsAvocet

Sorry to derail, but could I just ask a question about extra vs supracurricular activities please? I've never heard that distinction made before reading this thread. I'm assuming that supra is things that they do outside of school that is directly related to one of their subjects, but extra is something unrelated - is that correct? So, suppose a student both played an instrument and a sport to a fairly high level, if they were applying for a Sports Science course, their sport would be supercurricular and worth including in some detail in their PS, but their musical achievements would be extracurricular and might be worth a line on the end at most, as a possible icebreaker if there's an interview? But if they were applying for Performing Arts degree then the opposite would be true? Have I got that right *@SarahAndQuack* ( or anyone else in the know)? Thanks.

I have mostly heard it on here TBH, too.

I have always understood it the way you do. But honestly, the best thing to do would be see what the specific university and specific course info says, because obviously what's true for one university and one course might be totally different for another.

I think the really important thing is just not making teenagers feel as if they've failed before they've even started, if they don't get perfect grades, volunteer, do all sorts of sport or music, etc. etc. There are lots of paths forward from GCSE.

Yes.

My son has applied for music degrees so his keyboard playing and involvement in musical theatre outside of college etc are all super-curricular for him (along with the endless music theory podcasts he listens to) but any sport would be extra-curricular. (I don't think he mentioned anything extra curricular in his PS except one line about working p/t for a food, drink and music festival which he tagged onto the end of a sentence about the music industry.

Yes extra curricular may merely be a sentence at the end of the ps if there is sufficient space and should not be over 20% of the statement.

Supra curricular relates to the subject and is anything in addition to their A level studies. Oxbridge applicants generally won't have extra curricular mentioned in their PS. Music grades can already be entered as part of the qualifications section of the UCAS form.

@Mamamwmwma my experience is as a UCAS adviser at a super selective school which has a high number of Oxbridge applicants per year and a high percentage of offers (as you wanted to know why I might suggest that extra curricular are not generally required and how I would know some unis only use personal statements in tie break situations).

The main thing to do though is to read all information available from the uni they want to apply to and the course they want to apply to.

Ds got grades 4-6 at GCSE level, started A levels & left at the beginning of Y13 as he couldn't cope with the pressure school put him under. He is working voluntary as a social media manager for a combined mayor candidate with the promise of a job if the candidate is elected, he is also involved with transport planning with the party & has had his plans for extending the local tram network adopted as policy. He is just 18 but has more on his CV than a lot of A level students.

Thanks to those who answered my supra/extra question. It's a new issue for me as my eldest did a course that was entry by audition only and didn't have to do a PS, and my middle child doesn't really have any interests that aren't related to his chosen field anyway. But the youngest has a wide range of interests so it's good to know what's likely to be relevant when the time comes.

@Nat6999

Ds got grades 4-6 at GCSE level, started A levels & left at the beginning of Y13 as he couldn't cope with the pressure school put him under. He is working voluntary as a social media manager for a combined mayor candidate with the promise of a job if the candidate is elected, he is also involved with transport planning with the party & has had his plans for extending the local tram network adopted as policy. He is just 18 but has more on his CV than a lot of A level students.

That's excellent Nat, and what a great field to be working in, brilliant networking opportunities and a chance to make a real difference to people's life's. Plus he'll have some interesting/revealing anecdotes to share at dinner parties .

GCSEs are a stepping stone onto T/A levels or BTECHs. However, I would just make sure that Maths and English are on target for level 5. Having these two subjects makes it easier to change careers and are required fir some apprenticeships.

Good grades at English language and Maths, maybe in the subjects that you want to study for A level, but to me the others it should just be about passing.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz He has a lot on his CV before this, he is a young carer for me & his dad, he is on the Young Carers action group dealing with applications for carer's grants, he is doing NHS Cadets, has worked in the Covid testing site at school, he has been involved in making films about awareness about being a young carer as well

@Nat6999

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz He has a lot on his CV before this, he is a young carer for me & his dad, he is on the Young Carers action group dealing with applications for carer's grants, he is doing NHS Cadets, has worked in the Covid testing site at school, he has been involved in making films about awareness about being a young carer as well

He sounds like a lovely young man.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz You may have seen him on television, he has been on the BBC, ITV, Channel 4 & Sky news talking about being a young carer in the pandemic & being the first school to have pupils running the testing site.

DS16 has been told by us to get grade 4 or above in 5 subjects minimum including maths and one English in order to progress to next stage education. He's taking 11.....

@Ozanj

The kids who get the top grades aren’t pushed. They are a product of decades of involved parenting and as such have learned all the revision techniques they need to, to get the top grades. These kids often have parents who also did extremely well at GCSE and so can share tips including how to manage stress. The kids who get stressed are the ones whose parents do nothing to help (presumably because they can’t) but still pile on the pressure anyway.

I help out a lot but didn't do well myself. Husband the same. Isn't always the case what you say. I got 7 at grade a-c. Husband got none. Son is helped and encouraged to do well but is only going to get a handful of passes at best.