To think it’s ok to do ‘well enough’ at gcse’s

[Laughingstock91]

DS is doing well in school- I don’t know what his predicted grades are yet as he’s in year 9 and the school don’t do predicted gcse grades as they take the (sensible I feel) approach that it predicted grades too early on can cap achievement. I like this approach.

DS is doing well by their markers but gets very stressed by pressure. And the pressure seems to come from the get straight A’s & A* that seems to be hovering about - not from the school nescrssarily- but from an expectation in his peers that anything less is a failure. It drives me nuts! I got 8 GCSE’s grades a-c, did 3 Alevels grades a-c and then went to Uni and got a 2:1. I really want DS to pass his GCSEs and be able to go on and study but I don’t want him to feel ridiculous pressure to try and get straight A grades (or 9’s or whatever the modern day equivalent is.

But is that ok? Am I failing him by not pushing him? A friend with a child in private school where they get pushed to achieve straight A’s thinks I am letting him down but not saying he should aim for that! I just want him to do as well as he can but to not go mad with the stress of it all.

Aibu?

Lots of parents can’t afford to attend open days so if that’s how the universities are communicating, they’ll only reach rich people.
I have always understood the difference between extracurricular and super-curricular. It’s not sufficient to simply say don’t volunteer because some course such as medicine will be looking for that. I hope @SarahAndQuack and her colleagues are going to get that across to everyone in the future so it’s a fair playing field.

DS is looking at a competitive course post A levels (not medicine) which stipulates x number of GCSE grades at 7/8 or above. So it depends on where your DC may be heading. It's wrong to think in all cases GCSE grades aren't considered once A levels have been done. Particularly for those students whose A level grades were teacher assessed during Covid.

Yanbu

I agree with you. Way too much needless pressure ... Passes in 5 or 6 subjects are enough for any next steps a young person may take.

My DD is very bright, naturally so, always has been. She's also got shocking mental health, exacerbated by covid. I have come to realise that her being happy and achieving enough to move on to the next step in her life is what I want for her. She might well get 8s at GCSE and I will ensure she's not out partying every night etc and is doing what is expected of her but I will not be pushing her. Some things are more important.

@Mamamwmwma

Lots of parents can’t afford to attend open days so if that’s how the universities are communicating, they’ll only reach rich people. I have always understood the difference between extracurricular and super-curricular. It’s not sufficient to simply say don’t volunteer because some course such as medicine will be looking for that. I hope *@SarahAndQuack* and her colleagues are going to get that across to everyone in the future so it’s a fair playing field.

We are trying.

The idea that universities aren't 'bothering' contributes to making the problem worse. People who might otherwise apply and do well think 'ok, I won't bother'.

@Mamamwmwma

Lots of parents can’t afford to attend open days so if that’s how the universities are communicating, they’ll only reach rich people. I have always understood the difference between extracurricular and super-curricular. It’s not sufficient to simply say don’t volunteer because some course such as medicine will be looking for that. I hope *@SarahAndQuack* and her colleagues are going to get that across to everyone in the future so it’s a fair playing field.

Most have been online this last couple of years. Or in person but recordings available.

You are absolutely not failing him at all. You know your son best and you appear to be very aware and considerate of what's best for him.

There are ways to get to most jobs you want eventually anyway. Some take the direct route others take the long way around. Never is necessarily right, it depends on the person.

Give his nature, you are probably best to continue to reassure him that all anyone can do is their best and that exams are never worth stressing about.

There's a big difference between a lazy child, not trying and what you are describing.

Fully think your approach is spot on.

@SarahAndQuack You said yourself your university doesn’t read them. That’s the definition of not bothering.
To the person who said open days have been online, this issue predates Covid. It will also post-date it if this thread is anything to go by…

[quote Mamamwmwma]@SarahAndQuack You said yourself your university doesn’t read them. That’s the definition of not bothering.
To the person who said open days have been online, this issue predates Covid. It will also post-date it if this thread is anything to go by…[/quote]
Did I?! I didn't think I had. FWIW, I've actually no idea what my current place does as I don't have anything to do with admissions here.

@Comefromaway

And yes, my son got no help with his personal statement. He downloaded a guide from the subject page of his first university and a friend who is an UCAS advisor at a private school kindly looked over it.

He talked about areas of the subject that interests him, who he had read/listened to podcasts etc and how he had gone beyond the curriculum.

Lol he got a lot of help then

He had no help from his state college. Unlike my nieces college who ran weekly sessions from last June until November with personalised help available to all students.

If it hadn’t been for the friend who said she’d look over it after he’d written it, (someone I’ve never met only on the internet) he’d have had no guidance. It highlights the disparity in provision.

I do think it's pointless getting overstressed about GCSEs in particular.

But agree with a pp that you cant compare to your own results. Grade inflation means a far higher proportion of kids get top grades now. University courses mostly ask for A's and A*s even at lower ranked institutions.

@Mamamwmwma

Lots of parents can’t afford to attend open days so if that’s how the universities are communicating, they’ll only reach rich people. I have always understood the difference between extracurricular and super-curricular. It’s not sufficient to simply say don’t volunteer because some course such as medicine will be looking for that. I hope *@SarahAndQuack* and her colleagues are going to get that across to everyone in the future so it’s a fair playing field.

Here's the truth, universities don't give a flying fuck what students do in their spare time. They want to see an interest in, and a commitment to, the subject and the course they want to study, ideally with some decent evidence of same.

If a student's volunteering is directly related to what they want to study, it might show a degree of commitment to the subject so in your example, sure if they can get voluntary work in a hospital or a care home it might, possibly, get them an interview (medicine being a subject where universities still interview).

Of course there are lots of other good reasons to volunteer, I would never criticise someone who volunteers, but as a point on a PS? Nope.

@thing47 My point is that universities are failing to communicate what they want from a personal statement. The whole things seems pointless in any event because apparently they don’t read them. Prospective students should know that, although Etonians apparently write perfect ones which universities do read.

[quote Mamamwmwma]@thing47 My point is that universities are failing to communicate what they want from a personal statement. The whole things seems pointless in any event because apparently they don’t read them. Prospective students should know that, although Etonians apparently write perfect ones which universities do read.[/quote]
I beg to differ. There is so much information available to prospective students on the Internet on UCAS, TSR and even uni websites that a quick read should explain what they expect to be covered. Many schools use unifrog which also sets out a format as to what should be covered.

I do agree that some schools offer more support as to what a good PS looks like.

Some unis are very upfront about whether a PS is read and at what stage. Eg. Oxford sets out the weighting placed on it, Bristol for some courses only use it as a tiebreaker. Again of a student reads the website for the particular course fully then the information is generally there.

I think you have absolutely the right idea. All G.C.S.E's do is prove a basic foundation in maths and english (should his further qualifications not include those subjects) and hit a-level/college entry requirements.

Anecdotally, the oxbridge students I know were fairly relaxed about GCSEs getting A/Bs based on talent rather than hardcore study and only really knuckled down for A-levels; whereas the kids who obsessively revised and pushed themselves to A*s at GCSE ended up not being able to maintain that level of work and crashing either through general emotional/mental burnout or taking further qualifications that were beyond their real ability level because they'd got the entry grades via studying incredibly hard at GCSE but not being able to sustain that all through A-levels and beyond/part of top GCSEs is memorising exam material but that didn't convert to the ability to grasp the higher level material.

Year 9 is a funny year, this is when behaviours often escalate and MH problems can start.
Let him be.
There are far worse things that can happen to a teen than to get average results.

My son is applying for music so for many of the universities he has applied to the PS isn't read, they audition every applicant although some say they use the PS to see evidence of commitment to the subject. Some universities will offer places to anyone who has the predicted grades, others will use it as a tie breaker.

My DD is Y9. She's very bright and sets herself very high expectations. Her teachers predict great grades and her friends refer to her as 'the smart one'.

It's a fine line between parental encouragement and pushing.

Fortunately, she recently did an extra curricular exam which she passed but was devastated not to get a distinction. This was a great lesson for her and for us.

She always prepares and revises well for exams, but crumbles when faced with the paper/music piece/whatever.

Has anyone got any tips on resources I could use to help me support her to tackle exams better?

@SeasonFinale My dc recently applied to university. At no point did any university tell him what to put in the PS. He went to a massive sixth form college with an excellent reputation. He put a paragraph in about his general achievements eg district level sport, caring responsibilities and having responsibilities in a part time job. This was vetted by the college and they ok’d it. Maybe private schools are getting a different message or it’s accepted they aren’t likely to have part-time jobs or caring responsibilities etc?

You're right OP.

I put so much pressure on myself for GCSE but post A Levels/degree, they've just failed to be relevant in my life. Nobody ever asks what I got or asks to see the certificate. Pointless.

I think if he can get at least four decent grades (which is totally doable for most), that will open the door for the next bit that really matters. And beyond that, nobody will care what he got in his GCSEs.

Its widely acknowleged by universities that young people with caring responsibilities are often less able to take part in extra curricular activities and requiring a raft of extra curricular would therefore be discriminatory.

@SeasonFinale @SarahAndQuack I just googled ‘personal statements for universities’ and the first thing that came up was a video from Newcastle University. They advise you put your ‘hobbies and interests’ in your personal statement.
Why then are you telling people not to do this?

Just a random selection from university web sites

www.bristol.ac.uk/media-library/sites/undergraduate-applicants/migrated/documents/ucasfactsheet.pdf ‘Why should I be given aplace to study X?’ Everything you say in your personal statement should relate back to that question. If it doesn’t, then do you need to say it at all?

www.manchester.ac.uk/study/undergraduate/applications/after-you-apply/assessing-application/ We consider academic achievement on the basis of the information you provide in your UCAS application. For most of our courses, good examination results are the main factor in securing a place. You may need to meet further non-academic requirements for admission, such as providing evidence of transferable skills or work experience in a relevant area. Our admissions staff consider your personal statement and a school reference to see whether you meet the stated criteria.

www.kcl.ac.uk/study-legacy/assets/PDF/schools-liaison/conference-teachers-advisers-resources/personal-statements-and-references-for-beginners.pdf

www.kcl.ac.uk/study-at-kings/hyperlinks/personal-statement-examples.pdf

[quote Mamamwmwma]**@SeasonFinale* @SarahAndQuack* I just googled ‘personal statements for universities’ and the first thing that came up was a video from Newcastle University. They advise you put your ‘hobbies and interests’ in your personal statement.
Why then are you telling people not to do this?[/quote]
Well, since you know best, you crack on.

No, to be serious: I think it's fine to put these things in (obviously?). But spreading the myth they are necessary to impress universities is really unhelpful and discriminatory. People start getting worried that you need Grade 8 Flute in order to have a better chance of studying Geography. If I had a student who put down that she loved her flute lessons, I might ask her about it as an icebreaker if she seemed really nervous. But I would be perfectly well aware of why some people don't have the time or money or opportunity to do grade 8 flute.

I don't really understand any more how you see this as relating to the OP's thread. I thought she was making a really sensible point about not pressuring young people too much. It feels as if all your posts are casting about to find yet more things for them to stress over!