To think it’s ok to do ‘well enough’ at gcse’s

[Laughingstock91]

DS is doing well in school- I don’t know what his predicted grades are yet as he’s in year 9 and the school don’t do predicted gcse grades as they take the (sensible I feel) approach that it predicted grades too early on can cap achievement. I like this approach.

DS is doing well by their markers but gets very stressed by pressure. And the pressure seems to come from the get straight A’s & A* that seems to be hovering about - not from the school nescrssarily- but from an expectation in his peers that anything less is a failure. It drives me nuts! I got 8 GCSE’s grades a-c, did 3 Alevels grades a-c and then went to Uni and got a 2:1. I really want DS to pass his GCSEs and be able to go on and study but I don’t want him to feel ridiculous pressure to try and get straight A grades (or 9’s or whatever the modern day equivalent is.

But is that ok? Am I failing him by not pushing him? A friend with a child in private school where they get pushed to achieve straight A’s thinks I am letting him down but not saying he should aim for that! I just want him to do as well as he can but to not go mad with the stress of it all.

Aibu?

Newcastle & Durham are the exceptions (they love captains of Rugby teams up there!)

@SarahAndQuack Why would you make such a snippy remark? You have come on here and said that students shouldn’t be writing anything about hobbies and interests on their PS. You have blamed teachers, parents and students to ‘not listening’ to the information that’s given by universities. I have merely pointed out that we are still being told to put these things in. How am I in the wrong?

which of course disadvantages students whose schools don't even have sports teams let alone a plethora of student leadership roles.

Bingomangoes

They're just a stepping stone to A-levels surely? Once you have A-levels does anyone care what you achieved at GCSE? So from that point of view I will support my Children to do the best they can whilst still enjoying their social lives, their sports and other extracurricular activities. No one has asked to see my A levels since I received my degree. My degree is now far less important than my career experience. I think you're absolutely right.“

This, exactly.
Our youngest is at university now and we all already struggle to recall his GCSE/A grades. They were good enough to get on his chosen course, that’s all that mattered.

[quote Mamamwmwma]@SarahAndQuack Why would you make such a snippy remark? You have come on here and said that students shouldn’t be writing anything about hobbies and interests on their PS. You have blamed teachers, parents and students to ‘not listening’ to the information that’s given by universities. I have merely pointed out that we are still being told to put these things in. How am I in the wrong?[/quote]
Because virtually all other universities are not bothered. Durham acknowledge that they ARE bothered, which is why they offer a "Substitute Personal Statement" option that you can submit directly to them that is different from the one on your UCAS form.

The King’s College example talks about playing cricket at a high level!

A relative went to Durham and played sport at a high level. She was given the impression this out her at a huge advantage. She is highly academic in any event but said at a talk, they were told it’s hard to differentiate between candidates because so many have good exam records, play instruments to a high standard, play sport to a good standard etc. This gives the impression these things do count. I admit to being confused.

My parents always took the approach that as long as I did my best then that was all they would ask. I say the same to my own children.

Eldest is in Y7 now, and the school have already given an indication of what they think all the kids will achieve at GCSE (!!). We liftshare with a very academic child (and she is very vocal about her own academic achievements ). Mine was getting a bit despondent because he is not "as good" as the liftshare child.

I told him that my GCSE results were distinctly average, my A Levels weren't brilliant either. But they were good enough to get me where I wanted to go, and I now have a degree and 3 postgraduate degrees, one of which is a PhD, and I get paid fairly well to do a job that I enjoy.

When you are 45 and making porridge for your kids, no-one is particularly bothered if you got a 5 or 9 for your history GCSE.

[quote Mamamwmwma]@SarahAndQuack Why would you make such a snippy remark? You have come on here and said that students shouldn’t be writing anything about hobbies and interests on their PS. You have blamed teachers, parents and students to ‘not listening’ to the information that’s given by universities. I have merely pointed out that we are still being told to put these things in. How am I in the wrong?[/quote]
You think I am being snippy?!

Wow.

No, I am not blaming teachers or parents or students. I have repeatedly pointed out that I wish there were better funding for support in this area. I responded to you saying universities were 'not bothering' and then to your claim that I, personally, said my current university doesn't read personal statements. You've still not bothered to apologise for that.

I do think sometimes parents, students and teachers don't listen when people say that you don't have to have stellar extra-curriculars to do a degree. I understand why they don't, because there is a lot of misinformation out there. And it is not easy, when you don't have a great deal of time or familiarity with university, to navigate through all the information. However, since you and I are both sitting on mumsnet at the moment, I think we probably do have a bit of free time, and it'd be awfully nice if we used it to reassure people with prospective student children that, no, they do not have to work flat-out to develop a profile of 'hobbies and interests' or they'll have no hope of university.

I also think it would be good if students didn't feel intense pressure to get straight A/A* GCSEs, which is the original point of the thread.

Yes, I do think the ‘you crack on’ comment was snippy.

@Mamamwmwma

Yes, I do think the ‘you crack on’ comment was snippy.

Yes, it was, but I'd been quite patient up to that point, while I thought you were extremely rude.

Did you not say that universities don’t read PS? I am happy to be corrected. All I would like to know, as a parent with a dc who will soon be applying, is what is actually needed. If I watched the Newcastle University guidance I would think one thing, if I listened to you I would be told something else. You said that parents don’t listen to your guidance. I am listening but hearing conflicting information.

To be honest I thought you were rude too. Especially when you said parents and students don’t listen.

My youngest daughter is 13 ( last of 4 kids) and she was crying a few weeks ago about the pressure of exams and revision etc. I gently explained to her that all we want is for her to try her best and not to waste her time at school. Will I be gutted I'd she gets a C instead of a predicted A? No. If she is bothered by her grade ( because she didn't give it her best) then she could resit over the summer and it's a valuable life lesson. If she got the C with her best effort then it Is what it is. If she fails her A levels or doesn't get her predicted grades through laziness, she can resit them out look at alternate things like apprenticeships or going to university as a mature student at the whopping age of 19 instead of 18.

I didn't get any GCSEs at all and I still managed to achieve a BA and a MA as well as a whole host of other very varied qualifications.

The cricket was used as a specific example that was related to the course. In all the examples any hobbies are just a short line at the end of the statement and are still directly related to skills needed for that subject course.

@Mamamwmwma

Did you not say that universities don’t read PS? I am happy to be corrected. All I would like to know, as a parent with a dc who will soon be applying, is what is actually needed. If I watched the Newcastle University guidance I would think one thing, if I listened to you I would be told something else. You said that parents don’t listen to your guidance. I am listening but hearing conflicting information.

Ok, I am quite fed up with you repeating claims about things I've said without any back up.

I looked back over the thread.

I never never said universities don't read personal statements.

I never said said universities never look at hobbies, interests, extra- or supercurriculars. What I in fact said was:

I wish the myth that students need to 'enhance' their personal statements with voluntary work would die a death, though. For 90% of subjects it doesn't make the tiniest bit of difference.

I did say that parents, students and teachers do not always listen to what universities say, and that the message does not always get through. However, I said this in the context of repeating, many times, that I wish there were more funding to support admissions (and getting this message out!). I want a level playing field.

You seem absolutely bent on proving that all universities are totally corrupt and just want to skim off good rugby players from Eton. Why, for the love of God? What would we possibly get out of that?

And, I'm sorry, but if you are offended by me saying some parents don't listen ... maybe try listening?! Because the first time you misrepresented what I said, I did say 'Did I?!', which might have prompted you to go check the thread and realise you ... hadn't actually listened!

@SarahAndQuack You seem very naive. Universities have been admitting mediocre students for years because they play for the right team. I have heard it from the horses mouth. This is why social mobility is going backwards.
First you blamed Covid, then parents. You belittled the efforts of students who want to enhance their CVs by saying don’t bother volunteering because we don’t care. You admit yourself the message isn’t getting through to teachers, but it’s all the fault of people like me?

Unless they are applying for a sports scholarship or a PE related subject you are very wrong Mama

[quote Mamamwmwma]@SarahAndQuack You seem very naive. Universities have been admitting mediocre students for years because they play for the right team. I have heard it from the horses mouth. This is why social mobility is going backwards.
First you blamed Covid, then parents. You belittled the efforts of students who want to enhance their CVs by saying don’t bother volunteering because we don’t care. You admit yourself the message isn’t getting through to teachers, but it’s all the fault of people like me?[/quote]
Ok, have it your way. You are uniquely qualified to know how the system works. Congratulations on your wisdom. Would you like the tiniest violin on which to lament your enormous sufferings for this persecution I have visited upon you?

Now can we maybe just leave the thread to be about GCSEs, which actually sounds like it's a useful and interesting debate for the OP and others.

Ok. I admit I am confused. I will just have to take a chance when it’s time to draft DC’s PS.
Apologies to all I have offended. I was trying to get to the bottom of it.

If someone is applying for Maths at Manchester Uni then representing their country in Sport isn't going to help their application, they need the academic grades.

If, however they are applying for the elite sports programme at Loughborough, then of course it will!

The point I am making @SarahAndQuack is that I am not qualified. I am worried and stressed. For what it’s worth both my boys have a spld and have had experience of helping to care for a parent. It’s a nightmare knowing what to say on Personal Statements especially when they are applying to prestigious universities. I now out now as this is doing me no favours.

They're just a stepping stone to A-levels surely? Once you have A-levels does anyone care what you achieved at GCSE?

That's ok if you follow the "right" path, i.e. GCSE>A>Degree>Profession.

But if you, say, don't go onto A levels, then your GCSEs are highly important. Or if you change career direction in your 20s or 30s, you may find that you need to find a way to study/retake certain GCSE subjects to get into training for your next profession/career, etc. which is much harder these days as there are very limited further education options for adults.

@Mamamwmwma

The point I am making *@SarahAndQuack* is that I am not qualified. I am worried and stressed. For what it’s worth both my boys have a spld and have had experience of helping to care for a parent. It’s a nightmare knowing what to say on Personal Statements especially when they are applying to prestigious universities. I now out now as this is doing me no favours.

Well, then perhaps stop telling everyone else who offers advice that you know they're wrong while misremembering/misrepresenting what they said!

In my experience, which comes from a few years doing admissions and is not particularly diverse, I would say you need to get your boys to look at the advice on the admissions section of the websites of the universities they think they might want to go for.

If they are worried, they can contact admissions directly. This is fine. They will be used to it and they won't think any question is silly. (They will, I've got to say, probably respond without effusive delight if you persist in telling them they're wrong because you know better, though).

My personal sense would be that candidates who have been young carers would be understood to have done something difficult and responsible which very likely made things harder for them to achieve the grades they otherwise might have got. I can't say for sure how each university would take it into account, but I think they would. I think the same would be true for spld's. But I definitely think this would be something they could ask admissions about if they are worried, because I'm sure the response would help.

I didn’t say you were wrong. I said the message either isn’t getting through or it’s confused. Hence my reference to the NU video.
I am bowing out because my MH can’t deal with references to worlds tiniest violins at the moment.