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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

LGBTQ talk in schools

545 replies

JaggedStone · 26/01/2022 22:50

Named changed for this as could be outing.
We are very open with our children and explain life to them in ways they can understand and to ensure they are respectful of everyone and are always open and honest with us.
A LOT of parents have kicked up a fuss about the fact that teachers have spoken to the children today about LGBTQ but it is government mandated as compulsory so essentially the parents can not opt out of it unless they are planning to home school.
Some of the views seem quite hypocritical and some are saying they shouldn’t have these kind of talks yet.
AIBU to think that they are being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 00:44

@EeeICouldRipATissue

Me telling him mummy and daddy love him and love eachother isn't teaching him about relationships. It's telling him mummy and daddy love him? Course it is - if you're telling him that mummy and daddy love each other, are you also letting him know that it's OK for two mummies or two daddies to love each other too?
@EeeICouldRipATissue No why does he need to know that? How is that relevant to him? That's like me saying a white person and a black person can love eachother, like how is this relevant to my child????
EeeICouldRipATissue · 28/01/2022 00:54

No why does he need to know that? How is that relevant to him?
Your comment seems to be it's OK to know straight people and couples exist
Not so much one's that aren't though.

Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 00:59

@EeeICouldRipATissue

No why does he need to know that? How is that relevant to him? Your comment seems to be it's OK to know straight people and couples exist Not so much one's that aren't though.
your missing my point entirely. At my DS age he doesn't know what a couple is fullstop. He doesn't know what relationships are, or what straight is. He's just a 5 year old lmao.
MoonlightFancy · 28/01/2022 01:12

I voted YABU because you don’t know what was being taught. It’s hard to understand why these other parents were upset when we don’t have context.

I talk to my kids (3 & 4) about families being different whenever it comes up. We often talk about the different kinds of families and we include families with two mums, two dads. Grandparents only, aunties and uncles. I would be uncomfortable if school proposed discussing trans with children in the earlier years as I wouldn’t want my children confused. My son often plays with dolls and my daughter often plays with trucks and cars, we do not distinguish either as being for girls or for boys. I wouldn’t want them to feel strange about their choices perhaps leading them toward wanting to be a girl or boy specifically when there is no need for all that at such a young age. If I thought that might be taught I would likely raise my concerns and be one of the parents that was considered unreasonable.

Willyoujustbequiet · 28/01/2022 01:15

@FairyLightQueen

Who are you to call a poster a homophobe when she said her child with ASD is too young to be taught this. Check your ableist privilege. Clearly don't have a bloody clue.

Migrainesbythedozen · 28/01/2022 01:17

@EeeICouldRipATissue

53 year old woman arrested for being a feminist and putting up so called anti trans small posters saying 3+ women killed by men each week, domestic violence kills. I saw this on MN. So went and had a look (as that's always what I do whatever I read) It's not as simple as that, is it? Her Twitter feed is very anti trans. There were other stickers. Not just that one. Which were even posted on MN by the stickerer herself before the post was removed. It's so disingenuous to say just a 53 year old woman posting I mean what is that even supposed to mean?! I'm heading that age myself does that mean I can get away with anything as I'm a white, straight, non trans woman heading towards my fifties?! I guess not
@EeeICouldRipATissue What she had on her twitter account is totally irrelevant.

The stickers she posted had NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY to do with any trans issue. It was about Domestic Violence. Stop trying to conflate the two to victim-blame.

Migrainesbythedozen · 28/01/2022 01:25

@EeeICouldRipATissue

So she wasn't arrested for putting that sticker up then? How would I know? All I know from on here and further digging is it's probably not a case of '' "just this tweet of a sticker. ''
How would I know?

@EeeICouldRipATissue Um, I thought you said you read about it and checked? If you did, you WOULD know! It seems you know absolutely nothing about what you're talking about, and judged her without bothering to find out the facts, which is so disingenuous of you.

To educate you;

she wasn't arrested for 'tweets'. She was arrested for physically putting up a leaflet in public.

This, attached, is what she put up. As you can see, it says NOTHING EVEN EFFING REMOTELY about trans. It is only about Domestic Violence. So you are being disingenuous and dishonest to link it to her trans beliefs. It's clear you didn't even bother to check this out at all, because you are suggesting she was arrested for a tweet, when she was arrested for placing a flier in a telegraph pole.

LGBTQ talk in schools
Migrainesbythedozen · 28/01/2022 01:29

[quote Pinkrose1111]@Simonjt No Offence, but I'm starting to think you're a troll. Where did I say that I told my DS that we're in a relationship??? I've never once told my DS this. To my DS we are just mummy and daddy. The same way Grandma is Grandma and Uncle is Uncle etc. Like I said if he ASKS I'll explain what's relevant and age appropriate. But no more. And DEFINTILEY not to be taught at school.

And of course relationships lead to sexualisation, like hello?? A relationship with zero sexual contact is a friendship. It's the sexual part that makes it a relationship. This is why I'm saying kids do not need to know about any type of relationships at that age.

When they're in secondary school of course teach them all about relationships LGBT etc. I support kids learning about ALL family dynamics esp lgbt. But not at 5 years old. No way on Earth. Call me old fashioned but back in primary school all the kids I remember who were into relationships that young all ended up sexually active by the time they were 13 and pregnant before 18.

There is literally ZERO reason why 5 year olds needs to learn about relationships.[/quote]
@Pinkrose1111 Call me old fashioned but back in primary school all the kids I remember who were into relationships that young all ended up sexually active by the time they were 13 and pregnant before 18.

They ended up sexually active by 13 precisely because they weren't taught about it in primary school. Stats consistently show the younger a child learns about the 'facts of life', the older they are when they finally have sex. A lack of education is what leads to early sex and pregnancy. So your approach will lead to an increase in teen pregnancy.

DaphneduWarrior · 28/01/2022 01:32

[quote Pinkrose1111]@Simonjt No Offence, but I'm starting to think you're a troll. Where did I say that I told my DS that we're in a relationship??? I've never once told my DS this. To my DS we are just mummy and daddy. The same way Grandma is Grandma and Uncle is Uncle etc. Like I said if he ASKS I'll explain what's relevant and age appropriate. But no more. And DEFINTILEY not to be taught at school.

And of course relationships lead to sexualisation, like hello?? A relationship with zero sexual contact is a friendship. It's the sexual part that makes it a relationship. This is why I'm saying kids do not need to know about any type of relationships at that age.

When they're in secondary school of course teach them all about relationships LGBT etc. I support kids learning about ALL family dynamics esp lgbt. But not at 5 years old. No way on Earth. Call me old fashioned but back in primary school all the kids I remember who were into relationships that young all ended up sexually active by the time they were 13 and pregnant before 18.

There is literally ZERO reason why 5 year olds needs to learn about relationships.[/quote]
I’m a bi female. When I was five, I had crushes on my classmates. There were boys and girls I ‘liked’ in a different way to how I liked my friends.

I knew liking boys wasn’t anything to worry about because I saw boys and girls (adults and teenagers) kissing, holding hands, etc on tv and in real life.

I never saw girls holding hands with girls or kissing them (this was the 70s in a small town). It made me believe what I felt must be wrong and I felt a lot of guilt and shame around that. I know I’m not alone in feeling that way.

Age-appropriate lessons about relationships are massively important.

I certainly knew what relationships were at five, even if I didn’t know the word. My aunt and uncle split up when I was around that age - I knew they’d been in a relationship and then they weren’t.

Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 01:41

@Migrainesbythedozen well no, because NOONE was taught about these things when I was in primary school. And the only kids who ended up pregnant or sexually active young where the kids who were introduced to it and started having relationships young.

Where as all of the kids from religious backgrounds/ strict traditional backgrounds where that sort of thing is literally taboo have close to zero teen pregnancies and majority go on to have kids only after marriage.

EeeICouldRipATissue · 28/01/2022 01:54

The stickers she posted had NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY to do with any trans issue
The stickers she posted in a, screenshot on here before it got deleted did.

Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 01:55

@DaphneduWarrior if you feel these lessons are important then you teach it to your child. I don't want my child learning this at 5 therefore I won't teach this to my child. simple. I don't understand why people want to force their opinions onto others??

EeeICouldRipATissue · 28/01/2022 02:00

@daphedwarrior great post

nolongersurprised · 28/01/2022 02:12

The stickers she posted in a, screenshot on here before it got deleted did

I missed the screenshot. Are those the stickers that are on Twitter?

The ones that say, “Lesbians love ladies, not lads”

That’s true though, not “anti-trans”

nolongersurprised · 28/01/2022 02:15

Although the police still confiscated them from her house Hmm

DaphneduWarrior · 28/01/2022 02:19

@Pinkrose1111 - Relationships aren’t opinions.

It’s a fact that most people have relationships: men and women, men and men, women and women.

It’s a fact that some people don’t have relationships and don’t experience attraction towards other people.

All of these things are normal and ok.

Your child is aware of relationships: he might not know the word but he knows that his mum and dad are together, and his friend’s mum and dad don’t live together, and x and y on tv hold hands and hug. Relationships are all around us.

I’m not talking about sex education- I’m talking about teaching kids in age-appropriate ways that what they feel is ok.

DaphneduWarrior · 28/01/2022 02:21

Thank you @EeeICouldRipATissue Cake

EeeICouldRipATissue · 28/01/2022 02:23

I don't want my child learning this at 5 therefore I won't teach this to my child. simple
Sorry, not meaning to be goady, but what exactly is it you object to your child being taught about?
Same sex relationships?
If so why is it OK to accept me and DH as a relationship but not my same sex friends who have children too and are both mums?!

NotBadConsidering · 28/01/2022 02:26

If so why is it OK to accept me and DH as a relationship but not my same sex friends who have children too and are both mums?!

So do you think children should be taught same sex attraction and same sex relationships, or same gender attraction and same gender relationships, as per Stonewall’s official definitions?

Migrainesbythedozen · 28/01/2022 02:27

@EeeICouldRipATissue

The stickers she posted had NOTHING EVEN REMOTELY to do with any trans issue The stickers she posted in a, screenshot on here before it got deleted did.
@EeeICouldRipATissue Again, for the second time, NO IT DID NOT. She was ONLY arrested for the Domestic Violence fliers. NOTHING....ELSE. Stop trying to conflate the two, it is desperate and disingenuous.
Migrainesbythedozen · 28/01/2022 02:28

[quote Pinkrose1111]@Migrainesbythedozen well no, because NOONE was taught about these things when I was in primary school. And the only kids who ended up pregnant or sexually active young where the kids who were introduced to it and started having relationships young.

Where as all of the kids from religious backgrounds/ strict traditional backgrounds where that sort of thing is literally taboo have close to zero teen pregnancies and majority go on to have kids only after marriage.[/quote]
@Pinkrose1111 Your experience does not tally with reality. In reality it is the children of the religious who are the ones who mostly have sex young and have teenage pregnancies.

nolongersurprised · 28/01/2022 02:28

Eeel

What’s anti trans about “Lesbians love ladies, not lads”?

Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 02:29

@DaphneduWarrior believing 5 year olds should be taught about relationships is an OPINION. Not believing
to teach kids about relationships at 5 years old is an OPINION. Everything your saying in MY OPINION can be taught at home. And shouldn't even be mentioned at 5 years old. Like I said when I was younger if I saw a couple kissing (straight couple for that matter) my parents would cover my eyes if I saw ANY form of sexual contact between 2 people, my parents would hide that from me, because at that age it's not appropriate to introduce kids to sexualisation at these young ages. You keep talking about bi/LGBT no offence but I don't care about that. I'm clearly stating my point is I don't want my son exposed to ANY sort of relationship/sexualisation at 5 Years old.

Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 02:31

@Migrainesbythedozen really? I don't know any Muslim/hindhu/Jewish/sikh teenage mothers do you?

Pinkrose1111 · 28/01/2022 02:34

@EeeICouldRipATissue

I don't want my child learning this at 5 therefore I won't teach this to my child. simple Sorry, not meaning to be goady, but what exactly is it you object to your child being taught about? Same sex relationships? If so why is it OK to accept me and DH as a relationship but not my same sex friends who have children too and are both mums?!
Honey did you read any of the previous posts? I clearly stated I don't want my son learning about ANY relationships at 5 years old.
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